blogging it real

Fraudsters rob pensions of the dead screams the Herald's lead this morning.

It's those feckless benefit abusers taking another suckle on the public teat ... this time dishonouring the dead in so doing! You can almost picture the spittle frothing at the mouth of the aggrieved taxpaying hordes.

Mid-way through the story, we learn just why this gross abuse of the public purse merits headline news:

Investigators "data-mined" 250,000 beneficiary deaths and decided 33 needed further investigation.

Criminal charges were eventually laid against 16 people. [...]

All but one of the 16 people charged have since pleaded guilty, and eight have been sentenced.

Right, so 33/250,000 potential cases that were 'suspicious', and 16/250,000 that were 'prosecuted'.

If the 16th is found guilty, that's 0.000064% of potential cases that resulted in fraud (not bad for a worst case scenario).

If the total of guilty parties remains at 15, it's 0.0006%.

Alternate headline: Kiwis remarkably honest people; benefit fraud remains almost non-existent

Labels: fraud, herald

Here at bloggingitreal no weather escapes our attention.

With all the bitching from England here's an update from Korea...

Korea recorded its lowest temperatures since 2001, Wednesday, in a cold spell that is expected to continue until next week. The Korea Meteorological Administration (KMA) said it expects Seoul to record minus 14 degrees Celsius Thursday.

According to the KMA, Chulwon in Gwangwon Province, saw the lowest temperature of -26.3 degrees Celsius as morning lows in the capital fell to -13.3 degrees.

The temperature was also the lowest in Seoul since February 2006 when it recorded -14.1 degrees.

The KMA expects the cold weather will continue through the weekend and forecast that temperatures will drop further.

Morning lows in other regions also showed the worst cold snap after nine years; Jecheon, -25.8 degrees; Daegwanryeong, -22.3 degrees; Chungju -21.4 degrees; Suwon -18.6 degrees.

I fondly remember being in Seoul in the early 00's when it reached -18 degrees and we had 25cm of snow. Unfortunately I can't recall being contacted by the Herald or any footage being shown on the NZ news.

Labels: cold in winter, hard nipples, herald, snow

"Rebecca Gissing is battling temperatures of minus 3C in frozen Manchester and logs on to Facebook to see photos of her family back home in New Zealand looking tanned and having barbecues on the beach," whines The Herald. It's currently -19.7 here in Edmonton, and it's been continuously below -10 for at least a week. And this is pretty mild compared to last year.

Labels: herald, weather, whiny bitches

"'Ear-flick' father guilty of assault" bleats the Herald, with only 'scare quotes' to imply that ear-flicking was the least of it.

He actually punched his four-year old son in the face.

If you don't think that's assault, I suggest you ask someone 1m taller, and 60 kg heavier, than you to sneak up on you and deliver a full-blooded roundhouse to your chops.

Labels: for the sake of the children, herald

Today, Darth is a stout defender of liberty! Unfortunately for him, the freedom he longs for is unlikely to be delivered by any likely National Government. He in fact espouses the 'nanny state / pc gone mad' rhetoric common to ACT and Libertarianz supporters (and a large proportion of the Your Views community), but not the current National Party.

After asserting strangely that no one gives a damn about the economy, tax cuts, the environment, privatization, or working for families (contrary to all that, y'know, polling stuff), Ole Smokey declares the election is actually about "the freedom of the individual to live his or her life with as little interference as possible from the state, its politicians and minions."

I didn't know that Darth was a supporter of drug liberalization, the decriminalization of prostitution, and (by a small stretch of the imagination) civil unions - in that the latter allow consenting adults to receive official recognition of their own choices about domestic partnership, rather than the choices of the state.

Of course, Darth doesn't actually care about any of these liberties: instead he claims he doesn't want the state telling families how best to spend their money (too bad government spending as a proportion of GDP is essentially the same under Labour as it was under National), how to use their property (Darth, I look forward to building a tannery next to your suburban Rotorua home), and how we run our families (apparently Darth's concern for liberty doesn't extend to the rights of children not to be assaulted by their parents).

What else does Darth want?

" to fill up our cars" - Surely Labour, the biggest road builders NZ has seen in a long time, would agree with this?

"turn on our heaters" - Labour supports warm homes. And will even help low-income families ensure that heat doesn't disappear straight through an uninsulated ceiling.

"light our homes" - I have no idea where he's going with this. I, for one, wish Darth couldn't see his keyboard sometimes, but even so, is there a political party opposed to home lighting?

"run our taps (and showers)" - building standards are not a threat to this, Darth.

"eat our food, smoke a cigarette, have a few drinks" - here's the crux of the matter, Darth doesn't like health promotion. But that isn't a Labour government initiative, Darth - you fuckwit - and is certain to continue under National. Lest that overburdened health care system you so frequently bemoan be crippled under the weight of the obese, emphysematic and chronically inebriated.

"sell land or buy or develop property" - where the fuck have you been for the last 9 years, Darth? Do you not recall a property boom of heretofore unseen proportions?

And it's all about freedom from presidential-style politics. We want - nay, need - to be rid of a dictatorial leader so that consensus politics again has a chance to flourish.

Yes, I distinctly recall the consensual style of the last National government, as they went about raping and pillaging.

Labour makes much of its Working for Families scheme, but its inventors don't seem to realise that recipients would much rather have that money in direct income tax rebates.

They don't want to have to go cap in hand to Inland Revenue, fill in interminable forms that want to know everything about them and theirs except what they had for breakfast or when they last went to the toilet.

And they don't want to be left feeling beholden to the Government for the largesse when they could have received the same amount directly in tax breaks without it costing them, as taxpayers, as much again as they receive in administration costs.

None of us who don't qualify begrudges families a financial boost, but there are better ways to do it.

I'll explain this in terms you can understand, Darth: NATIONAL HAS PROMISED NOT TO CHANGE WORKING FOR FAMILIES.

I guess the poor, unfortunate families offered tax relief under this immensely popular scheme will continue the hardship of filling out "interminable forms". Dick.

The Greens have made it clear, fortunately, that they won't have a bar of National. They will, therefore, be powerless in the new Parliament so a vote for them is essentially wasted.

So voting for a party likely to be in opposition is a wasted vote is it, Darth? You truly are a disgrace.

He ends with the height of humour, likening Helen Clark to a shrew.

I hope you choke on your Rothmans, old man.

Labels: darth george, dickheads, herald, ird, national, NZ election 2008

Somewhat predictably, the USD700 billion corporate raid on public accounts is insufficient to prop up US capitalism.

Yet, the DomPost declares that our "Prime-Minister-in-waiting" remains "upbeat". Well, thank Christ for that. Actually, if I was polling 52% this close to an election, on the back of not much effort, and with a shadow Cabinet full of scary 90s neoliberals and that horrid Collins woman, I'd be pretty fucking upbeat too. No matter how hard Michael Cullen (personally responsible for the current worldwide downturn, in its entirety, suggests the New Zealand Herald), "rains on my parade."

FOR FUCK'S SAKE.

It will be interesting to see how the financial meltdown plays out during the Canadian federal election, Oct 14th. Live drunken blogging right here if anyone's interested.

Meanwhile, a bad week for our resident comments man. And I'm not just talking about his share portfolio. First his beloved Storm are given a sound thrashing in the Grand Final, then a certain Southland Mayor claims to have banged his favourite MP!

Labels: capitalism, herald, john key, media, nrl grand final, politics

The Herald makes out that Louisa Wall misses out on a higher placing on Labour's list because of its desire "to ensure different ethnicities are well represented in Parliament." The strange part is ... she's Maori, and therefore would be expected to benefit from any racial "quota" system. Helen Clark doesn't use the word "quota", but is quoted as saying ""on average, in every sixth or seventh or eight place or so there will be a Maori candidate ranked".

So, there's no way Ms Wall is the victim of any system which prefers ethnicities other than her own. She is no Kevin Pietersen. It seems probable that she's just about the 43rd best candidate that Labour has.

The Herald also neglects to mention she's moved up 3 places since last time, and thus fared better than plenty of sitting Labour MPs.

Labels: herald, labour, NZ election 2008, racism

Darth's latest offering serves up a big helping of the usual:

- A generic complaint about "Labour's socialist nanny state," without a single policy or alleged instance of socialist nannying being discussed.

- Complaint about proportional representation preventing National from its god-given right to rule alone: "We gag at the obnoxious wheeling and dealing that goes into forming minority government coalitions; and we cringe when we see the compromises which such coalitions entail, and the paucity of decisive governance." It's called democracy, Darth. And I well recall the last time there was a majority government in New Zealand: it brought us Ruthanasia rather than the promised "Decent Society."

- Lengthy quotation to make up column length: check, but this time it's John Roughan rather than the usual contributor, God himself.

- Self-aggrandizement: check, Darth includes himself among "300 Rotorua movers and shakers on Monday". Note to Darth: movers and shakers do not live in Rotorua.

- Blathering about climate change: check, "our next Prime Minister [told] us that it's all very well to be the world leader in climate change legislation but what Labour proposes comes at a hellish expense and without any guarantee of benefit". So, apparently climate change might exist, if John Key tells Darth it does. Otherwise it's a crock, 'cos Owen McShane says so.

- Railing against democracy II: the Resource Management needs "cleaning up" - code for reduced public participation in land use decision-making.

- Trouble with numbers: "Then there was his renewed promise to rein in the bloated Wellington bureaucracy, which under Labour has expanded from 26,000 to 36,000 in five years and which, Mr Key said, would blow out by another 3500 if Labour won a fourth term. This would be dealt with by a natural attrition of between 14 and 20 per cent a year." Great, Darth - the public service should be all-but-gone in 10 years, then. I wonder if anyone will be left to process your Superannuation payments.

Labels: darth george, herald

#1. Shock headline: Labour condemned on liquor outlet issue

It would be just as accurate to lead with: "Mealy-mouthed opposition makes generic criticism of government." But don't expect to see that any time soon.

So how about: "National criticizes liquor outlet plan" or something vaguely neutral?

#2. Readers' views on solution to crime

It's always fun to see what the talkback mob who hang out on the Herald's Your Views section have to say (hint: it's actually conservative populism a la NZ First, not neoliberal conservativism a la National), but here the Herald has highlighted a select few for our special attention. The fifth comment down, from the self-described "Warrior Legend" of Howick:

Prison is a place of punishment. If you look at the prisons overseas, prisoners get tortured and some even beaten to death! This should be the same standard here before more innocent people get killed!

Yes, torture and indiscriminate murders in prison are clearly the answer, as always. Look what they've achieved in the "War on Terror"(tm). Depriving someone of their liberty is never enough for this blood-thirsty mob. "Crims" are not really punished until also deprived of sleep, testicles and, ultimately, lives.

Bear in mind this a comment the Herald really wants us to read.

Labels: crime, dickheads, herald, national

You know that any Op-Ed piece beginning "Mike Moore is absolutely right..." would be a dubious contribution to the Sunday News, let alone the NZ Herald. Yet two chaps by the names of Sean Palmer and Simon O'Connor managed to have their "response" to Mike Moore published in that august outlet, furthering the Herald's downward spiral into the mire of incoherence and right-wing talking points.

The former is a doctoral student at AUT, the latter has a "background in political philosophy", by which I take it he means he completed a 200-level course on that topic at some point.

All by-the-by, let's take a look at what they had to say:

Recent constitutional changes have indeed been based on political expediency, ideological agendas, and an ironic desire to do what Australia does.

Well, unlike Australia we don't have the courage to even debate a Republic in any serious or sustained way. An actual referendum would send certain circles into "sky is falling"-style fits. Sure, we ended the knight- and dame-hoods a few years after Australia did, but Canada was the real leader in the field of abolishing imperial honours ... they did it in 1919.

No one with the best interests of Aotearoa at heart could support changes based on such divisive or ill-conceived ideas.

This is a vague assertion, not an argument. What changes? Who decided them? Were they voted on by MPs? What were the arguments pro- and con-?

He proposes that to combat the erosion of our constitution, New Zealanders ought to deliberately abandon it. The baby and the bathwater are both headed for the window!

No, he doesn't. His initial rambling contribution was conservative and elitist in orientation, in that he wanted change to be carefully considered, not populist or hasty, and the direction set not by the people or their representatives, but by a handful of plutocrats.

In reality, developing a new, republican constitution will only further the very problems he raises in his article.

Nice try, but Moore didn't call for "a new, republican constitution." Here's the extent of what he had to say:

If we are to be a republic, on which model - the US, French, Irish, or German model? There is a substantial difference.

An elected president could mean the end of our parliamentary system by establishing a potentially conflicting position of great power, but perhaps a congressional system has virtues. One attraction of the present system, a Queen or Governor General, is not the power they have but the power and prestige they deny others.

This is not an argument for a republic. Monarchists get their panties in a twist all too easily. Back to our two contributors:

The supporters of a New Zealand republic in the present Government have shown us, by their actions as much as their words, what their republic would look like. They have surreptitiously and systematically dismantled key elements of our constitution to create a new structure of government which the public does not support and which will give politicians extraordinary power.

Why do monarchists refuse to admit that Parliament is supreme? Politicians have had extraordinary power for a long, long time. The lack of a written constitution reinforces that (it would, in likelihood, turn some power over to the un-elected judiciary). As Lewis Holden put it recently: "the Sovereign would have to sign his or her own death warrant if Parliament handed it to them for assent." This is not due to any recent action on the part of Helen Clark and the "surreptitious republicans" in Parliament. But as Lewis suggests, the fundamentally dishonest claim that current politicians are grabbing royal powers is useful "in an era of popular dislike of politicians and the political process in general." Anyway, Palmer and O'Connor continue:

New Zealanders should not be under any illusion. Moves to republicanism have been made with stealth.

To date we have seen the abolition of appeals to the Privy Council, and the renaming of "Queens Counsels" to the meaningless title "Senior Counsel".

Oh fuck off. Senior Counsel makes perfect sense - it says "this person is an experienced and respected figure in the legal profession". "Queens Counsel" is actually less meaningful, in that those appointed QCs aren't actually personal counsels to Betty Windsor.

The General Salute of the armed forces has been taken away from the Governor-General and assumed by the Prime Minister. Even the portraits of our Head of State have been removed from our overseas embassies.

If true, these are changes in protocol, not the Constitution. Do these chumps even know what constitution means?

Each underhanded change has been justified with the absurd claim that the removal of our current constitutional monarchy will make New Zealand a more open and mature society. Such changes show a slow grab for power, and a disregard for tradition and democratic values.

I thought the republicanism was "by stealth"? That the politicians acted "surreptitously" and in an "underhanded" manner? But now, apparently, our elected MPs are openly arguing for "the removal of our current constitutional monarchy." Except, of course, they're not.

While Moore thinks a constitution and republic would solve this dismantling, it is much more likely that the new constitution would merely codify these very tendencies. In the Government's continuing grasp for power, as shown for example, in their restriction of free speech through the Electoral Finance Bill, we can see the inherent problems a republic would bring.

First, as we have seen above, Mike Moore didn't argue for a republic. He argued for an orderly debate, controlled by eminent personages. Second, I note the authors' beloved constitutional monarchy did nothing to prevent the Government "grasping" power through the Electoral Finance Act, thereby restricting "free speech" - or rather, preventing the rich from exercising their right to free speech in the shadows. Which rather suggests that, according to the authors' own logic, that constitutional reform is required. Indeed, reading on we see:

Republics do not prevent these abuses, they legitimise them. A constitution freezes the thinking and prejudices of those who wrote them.

And the prize for missing irony goes to ... those who criticize a republic for "legitimizing abuses" (i.e., legislation the right wing doesn't like), when those "abuses" were committed and legitimized under a monarchical system. Also, note there is no connection between the first and second sentences.

In the US thousands of people die because the outdated "right of the people to keep and bear arms" is in their constitution. It was included with the best of intentions, and may even have made sense two centuries ago. However, it now gives gun supporters tremendous legitimacy in that country.

Right, so because you don't like one amendment to one republican constitution, all republics are flawed. Sure. What about the clauses of our current constitution that determine who will succeed a monarch: male heirs are preferred over female ones, and the successor can't be a Catholic or married to a Catholic. Sounds like sexism and bigotry, respectively. I guess monarchies are really fucked, even if those rules were included with good intentions, and probably made sense at the time. Anyways...

The sacrosanct American Constitution is seen as largely infallible. This is an error made by many supporters of a written constitution. Written constitutions are designed to be inflexible; if they are easily amendable, they are self-defeating.

I think Americans are more likely to see the Bible than the Constitution as infallible, but that's beside the point for now. For people who are bewail any changes to current arrangements, it's a bit rich to complain that written constitutions are inflexible

All that can be said for Mssrs. Palmer and O'Connor is that they have an opinion, unlike a certain mustachioed someone who has little more than a knowledge of what happens when you highlight some text, push control-c, and then control-v.

Labels: constitution, dickheads, herald, mike moore, republic

So, what does the dark lord have in store for us this week?

His column starts promisingly enough with a five-paragraph tribute to the late Sir Ed, although like many others Darth tries to politicize the issue: first by raising a long-standing conservative gripe about the demise of recognizable titles like "Sir", and second by characterizing the idea of an additional public holiday as, essentially, an invitation to sloth. Sir Ed's life was, Darth notes (accurately), "energetic, active, adventurous, useful and hard-working." What he fails to note is that for many people it's hard to be energetic, active and adventurous when you're tied to a desk, a telephone, or a supermarket checkout. It's much easier when you're on holiday.

As for the first claim, titles like "Sir" are certainly distinctive in a way that prestigious honours like "ONZ" are not. This seems to be true and is unfortunate. But as for the claim that "he appellation Sir carries weight no matter where you go" ... well, you can't get it in Australia (finally ceased in 1986; highest award: Order of Australia), Canada (generally discontinued since 1919; highest award: Order of Canada), the United States, Ireland, South Africa (discontinued 1952), or too many other countries where English is widely spoken as far as I can tell. Except Papua New Guinea of course - perhaps that's what Darth means by "international".

Darth even means to slip in a reference to "the new National Government we will get later this year" ... for fuck's sake man, the death of a most distinguished and likable New Zealander is no time for this pathetic carry on.

But five paragraphs of a inappropriately politicized and ill-considered tribute to Sir Ed doesn't stand up to ... (drum roll please) ... 16 paragraphs (424 words) considering "a few rare gems" Darth has received via email. Yes, Darth has rediscovered the cut and paste function on his computer. Take this "gem", versions of which are readily found on the internet.

The next time you feel as if God can't use you, just remember: Noah was a drunk; Abraham was too old; Isaac was a daydreamer; Jacob was a liar; Leah was ugly; Joseph was abused; Moses had a stuttering problem; Gideon was afraid; Samson had long hair and was a womaniser; and Rahab was a prostitute.

Jeremiah and Timothy were too young; David had an affair and was a murderer; Elijah was suicidal; Isaiah preached naked; Jonah ran from God; Naomi was a widow; and Job went bankrupt.

Peter denied Christ; the disciples fell asleep while praying; Martha worried about everything; Mary Magdalene was ... well ... you know; the Samaritan woman was divorced, more than once; Zaccheus was too small; Paul was too religious; Timothy had an ulcer; and, if you please, Lazarus was dead.

For fuck's sake man, what does this have to do with anything? You're too lazy to even do your own proselytizing, so prefer instead to cut and paste hackneyed lines pointing out the foibles (including "divorce" apparently) of the key characters in the book? Why? And there's some obscure characters there too: I can't recall ever hearing of Rahab or Zaccheus. And the word he was looking for to describe Mary Magdalene was "prostitute". Just like Rahab.

Who pays this chump? At least hand his column over directly to the National Party. There's evidence that Bill English has a sense of humour - "The trouble is that New Zealanders are leaving the country in planeloads, and Australians are coming here in kayaks." Assuming that's an original line, it's bloody funny. Originality and humour are not things that Darth seems well-acquainted with.

Labels: darth george, herald, prostitutes

Today Darth wades into the murky waters of climate change, concluding that it is to scientists what smoking is to "health professionals": no, not "a serious risk to human wellbeing", but rather "an international rort". I bet Ole Smokey really wanted to say "health Nazis" but the sub-editor wouldn't let him. Anyway, perhaps Darth is driving the piss-poor climate change skeptic/denial writing in the Herald lately, convincingly exposed first by Russell Brown, and second by Idiot/Savant.

In large part it was Fran O'Sullivan's serving of denialist craptrap that led Russell Brown to label the Herald an embarrassment: a big call, but the right one. Idiot/Savant did a good job of fisking another "think piece" by Brian Leyland, an apologist for "yesterday's dirty technology, unable to understand that the world has moved on."

Anyways, back to Darth: he refers to a letter (updated: thanks to Anon, below) from "more than 100 prominent scientists from around the world, including at least seven from New Zealand, to the UN Secretary-General, Ban Ki-Moon" which questions the notion of human-induced climate change, and rings alarm bells about trying to reduce carbon emissions. I hope for Darth's sake they are real scientists, and not a motley collection of TV weathermen and gardeners, a la the infamous Inhofe list cited by O'Sullivan.

Update: Hot Topic astutely notes: "The 'prominent' scientists overlap with Fran O’Sullivans 'eminent' scientists. Yes, Owen McShane and Bryan Leyland are there. Again." Ahh, nice to see NZ's finest scientific minds hard at work.

Darth is basically in parroting mode today. I guess we should be thankful it's not trite Bible phrases (a Darth specialty) or a National Party press release (a talkback specialty). He basically asserts, on the basis of this "letter", that current climate change is not abnormal because it is within the bounds of natural variability (highly unlikely and depends on a cherry-pick), that computer modelling can't predict climate (as models go, they're highly sophisticated), and that old favourite "there has been no net global warming since 1998" (a stupendous heap of dung).

Is there a place for debate on climate change and how humans should respond, if at all? Absolutely there is. But don't look to Darth and his friends at the Herald for anything meaningful.

Time to put NZ's leading man of letters out to pasture.

Labels: darth george, herald

Russell Brown has recently observed the "petty", "spiteful" and (increasingly) "unreadable" quality of the NZ Herald opinions. He didn't specifically comment on the latest effort from our friend Darth, though. Darth's New Year's message rails against ... (drum roll please) ... political correctness! It is hard to believe anyone is willing to pay this chump to roll out crusade against "political correctness", in an outdated 2005 Wayne Mappesque fashion. This is all very familiar territory.

Our friend Darth doesn't pass on any particular warm wishes for the festive season or the New Year, but blathers on about this amorphous thing which supposedly "robs us of our uniqueness as human beings, while it tries to reduce us all to an amorphous mass of uncertain, anxious, obedient wimps." Darth declines to give any specific example of political correctness, apparently preferring to talk in generalizations about its alleged effects on language (unwillingness to "call a spade a spade") and denial of natural differences between human beings (e.g., claims that "all men and women (and even children) are not just equal but the same.")

I'm not being overly harsh in my interpretation. But I don't see much evidence of the first problem, and suggest the second is in fact, wrong by about 180 deg. One thing I absolutely loathe is a tendency amongst many far left/ultra-critical commentators not to deny the differences between people (on the basis of ethnicity, gender, age, etc) but to grossly exaggerate them, in order to advance a political case that, say, the interests of Maori are radically, perhaps diametrically, opposed to the interests of other New Zealand citizens. Or that women are universally and constantly oppressed by men, etc (hence the need for their own subway cars, perhaps). Such thinking is a recipe for separatism of various sorts, and is far more alarming than any supposed trend towards saying that everyone is "the same" (whatever that might mean). In fact, I think we could do with more emphasis on our common, shared interests as human beings, than on ethnic or gender differences.

What made Darth's alarmist nonsense about tortured, obscure language and the (probably non-existent) trend towards sameness somewhat amusing was the google ad pop-up which accompanied his column at the time I first read it.
1. George W. Bush WWIII
2. Iran Nuclear War Prophesy
3. Your name and Bible codes

Between political correctness, George W. Bush and "Bible codes" the end is surely nigh.


I had the good sense to create a screen capture.

Labels: darth george, herald

Until about 10 minutes ago I had apparently lost the will to blog. But thankfully the venerable New Zealand Herald has reinvigorated me. When pausing to refill my coffee cup in the lunch room I noticed the following two lift out sections in today's edition:

Carbonwise (Byline - Part 3 of 5: Transport)
Super Wheels (Byline - Speeding Up)

I think Homer Simpson said it best when he once asked: "Do I know what irony means?"

The first of these lift outs (over which I have spilled my coffee in an accidental but strangely satisfying manner) is in large part an advertorial, but it does at least include mention of such things as a supposedly forthcoming 660cc i-Car from Mitsubishi. The second is in even larger part an advertorial, promoting such dubious pleasures as a supercharger kit for your Holden V8, so you too can join the "Fast and the Furious" (actual headline - what happened to the first "the"?)

Do two sections of completely opposed intent constitute balance? I am reminded on an ongoing gripe of George Monbiot. This is what he had to say back in October:

The BBC drops Planet Relief for fear of breaching its impartiality guidelines: heaven forbid that it should come out against mass death. But it broadcasts a programme - Top Gear - that puts a match to its guidelines every week, and now looks about as pertinent as the Black and White Minstrel Show. The schedules are crammed with shows urging us to travel further, drive faster, build bigger, buy more, yet none of them are deemed to offend the rules, which really means that they don’t offend the interests of business or the pampered sensibilities of the Aga class. The media, driven by fear and advertising, is hopelessly biased towards the consumer economy and against the biosphere.

More recently, on the topic of speed cameras, he took another (deserved) swipe:

Nowhere is more nonsense spoken about this issue than on the BBC. Its Top Gear series has become a sort of looking-glass Crimewatch, in which the presenters enlist the public to help criminals foil the police. There are tips on how to avoid prosecution and endless suggestions that speed cameras are useless or counter-productive. The tone was set in 2002, when the team demonstrated that you could beat the cameras by driving past them at 170mph(5).

As an aside, should I feel bad about agreeing with Monbiot, but still really enjoying Top Gear? Nah. Will I watch Top Gear on Prime tonight? Probably. If I do, will I find it to a great laugh? Ahh, yes.

Anyway, back to the august Herald, about which I've taken a few swipes lately, along with many of my disposition. A quick browse of Carbonwise revealed at least one howler. On page 12, under "Trends to Watch" it reports that "Oil is here to stay" and that we should "Forget peak oil - the world is not about to run out of the stuff." Which displays a spectacular absence of understanding of what peak oil is about. Running out of "the stuff" is called ... well, "running out of the stuff", or perhaps something like "resource exhaustion". Peak Oil is the point at which oil extraction reaches its maximum rate, after which supply falls, and it becomes progressively more difficult and more expensive to extract oil from the ground.

Anyway, I'm just back from Australia. Tropical North Queensland to be precise. The night before my second boat trip out to the Reef I saw the following headline on the evening news: "Great Barrier Reef may be gone in 10 years: report." In one sense it affirmed my intention to spend a small fortune visiting it the next day. On the other, I couldn't help wonder about another irony: will the carbon emissions associated with my return flight (Auckland-Cairns), my ground transport (including 4 days behind the wheel of a rented Hyundai Getz with spectacularly bad wheel alignment), and my boat trips, contribute to the Reef's demise?

It wasn't helped the next day when a crew member on board the boat proudly announced we would be burning 1000 litres of diesel to get out to the Reef and back to Port Douglas again.

Fuck irony, I say. Port Douglas is a great town though, and reef snorkelling well worth it. I found Nemo, and a large number of his relatives, for example.

Labels: boy racers, driving, environment, herald, peak oil, stupidification, travel, TV news

This addition to the Tauranga Herald doesn't look too promising.

Also, methinks it is a pretty blatant ripoff of this.

It will also contribute to the ongoing stupidification of the local rag.

Labels: herald, stupidification

The great man of letters is moving on to parts unknown.

He appears to rule out Tauranga and Nelson (there goes my theory about the NZ Herald relocating to become the Tauranga Herald), but the rest of the country had better keep a look out for an elderly curmodgeon with a writing style that mixes small doses of common sense with large measures of moral panic, quoting of Scripture, and climate change denial. And a bad moustache.

As to why Auckland is going to hell in a handbasket, Darth offers the following insights:

...an ever more crowded and unfriendly environment in which privacy is but a memory, scarred by big, ugly apartment buildings rapidly becoming slums.

Am inclined to agree on Auckland apartment buildings being ugly ... but how exactly they are becoming slums I know not. In any case, how such trends affect Darth in his leafy North Shore suburb is an interesting question.

And spreading suburban ghettos based on ethnicity and religion.

Well, I live in a one-up-from-the-ghetto suburb and there's no evidence of ethnic or religious homogeneity whatsoever. Quite the opposite. Ethnically it's diverse, and as for religious belief, it goes unmentioned in polite society.

And more and more infill housing so you can shake hands with your neighbour out the kitchen window (although your neighbour is more likely to shake his/her fist at you).

Again, I can sympathize with aesthetic objections to much infill housing (building a cheap fucking "minor dwelling" on exposed wooded piles is not proper fucking housing, people!) I don't see a lack of neighbourliness in Auckland.

And it's definitely not unfriendly by the standards of medium-to-large sized cities. I find it considerably friendlier than Vancouver. Interestingly, Vancouver ranked 3rd equal, and Auckland a close 5th=, in a recent international survey of urban quality of life. One suspects neither would be good enough for our moustachioed friend.

Hours of time and buckets of money will be wasted trying to get from point A to point B by car or bus as the city's roading infrastructure falls further and further behind the needs. Even today many of us stay close to our homes at weekends because we won't put up with the frustrations of trying to go anywhere.

Like I said, the man is not always bereft of common sense. But really, a sense of proportion can help here. Lots of sprawling, automobile oriented cities have bad congestion. Sydney. Seattle. Toronto. Etc. Given Darth's professed love of his 4-litre Ford, methinks he doesn't spend much time on the bus anyway. He just threw that in there so that people who actually do use public transport might sympathize with his complaints.

Local body services, inadequate as they are already, will struggle with increasing lack of success to deal with sewage and stormwater disposal and rubbish collection. Heaven knows the inner harbour is polluted enough as it is but I fear we ain't seen nothin' yet.

Err, OK, but at least Auckand treats most of its sewage to a reasonable level, something many smaller towns and cities can't or won't do.

My suburb right now resembles a Third World slum with the streets piled high with inorganic rubbish, some of which has been there for weeks uncollected by council services obviously not well enough organised or manned to get the job done efficiently.

Yes, that is a bugbear for many uptight Auckand residents. It would be pleasant if the Council would pick up inorganic garbage more quickly, but I'm not about to leave the city because of it.

Neighbourliness and community spirit, already at a premium, will, like privacy, become an ever-dimmer memory; our parks will deteriorate as they become too crowded to cope; and those Aucklanders so inclined will have to travel further and further to get away from it all.

Has Darth been to a park lately? Unless there's a festival or free concert on, they're practically deserted.

Labels: darth george, herald