blogging it real

The first reaction of desk jockeys like Herald assistant editor John Roughan and Dominion Post editor Bernadette Courtney to government criticism of their decision to publish photographs of SAS members in Afghanistan is: "But how can mere photos place them in any more danger than they are already?"

The answer is in the long hair and beards, rather than the standard issue short back 'n sides, with optional moustache.

Special forces soldiers often grow their hair out in combat zones like this so that when they are engaged in covert op's (i.e., not in uniform) they don't look so much like soldiers and can blend in better.

Apiata without the uniform could almost pass for Taliban and therefore infiltrate easier. (Equally, he could pass as that guy from "300").

Now that his photo has been widely publicized, including on the web, his ability to blend in is compromised, and thus so is his safety and that of the NZ mission.

Labels: 300, I wouldn't mess with that muthafucka, media, SAS

And here it is, not a moment too soon, but as sure as the sun rises in the morning:

Surge in Eftpos, credit card purchases up to Christmas

A mere 15 days after Shoppers remain cautious as Christmas approaches.

Labels: Christmas, media

Yes, you saw it here second: "Shoppers remain cautious as Christmas approaches" bleats the DomPost.

As we have noted in the past, this will inevitably be followed up with: "NZ retailers relieved by last-minute spending spree."

The same thing they say every year, Pinky.

Labels: media, Santa

P substitute 'not as good' blurts the Dominion Post.

Yes, what will the poor P-heads do when they have to turn to inferior alternatives like alcohol?

What the story is actually referring to is the inefficacy of phenylephrine in cold- and flu-type drugs, relative to the soon-to-be restricted pseudoephedrine (which is not "P", but rather one of its many ingredients, a point seemingly lost on the sub-editors at the Dom Post). Hint: the "P" stands for "pure methamphetamine" not "pseudoephedrine". Morons.

Well-known pharmacist John Key is quoted as saying that phenylephrine is a "safe and effective alternative" to pseudoephedrine (which is also safe and effective, by most accounts), although there doesn't seem to be a lot of support for that position among, y'know, actual pharmacists.

In a dismal effort to promote balance, the Dom Post story concludes by listing "CRIMES COMMITTED WHILE ON P" - but lists only six. Perhaps they mean "Examples of crimes committed while on P?"

I look forward to the forthcoming expose on "CRIMES COMMITTED WHILE ON ALCOHOL". That well-known inferior alternative.

Legalize!

Labels: drugs, dumbasses, john key, media

On the day the US pulls the plug on the long-awaited FTA (which National berated Labour for making no progress on as Government), the Government serves up a heapin' helpin' of conservative populism in the form of reinstated aristocratic titles. They're so antiquated that wives of auspicious men, but not the husbands of auspicious women, will pick up a title for their troubles, too! How quaint. Next we'll be choosing our Head of State on the basis of their being the first born son of the last one ... oh, hold on.

The best part is, these cost nothing, and are certain to dominate both the front pages and the water-cooler type chatter. A master-stroke and a first class diversion. There's probably only so many times you can get away with such tactics, but as an example of political management of the media it's second-to-none. Something Labour wasn't capable of in its third term as National's messages (nanny-state, blah blah) made all the noise.

Update: I just remembered I've written about this before, when Darth George called for the reinstatement of knight- and damehoods. Finally we have rejoined Papau New Guinea in distributing these things:

As for the first claim, titles like "Sir" are certainly distinctive in a way that prestigious honours like "ONZ" are not. This seems to be true and is unfortunate. But as for the claim that "he appellation Sir carries weight no matter where you go" ... well, you can't get it in Australia (finally ceased in 1986; highest award: Order of Australia), Canada (generally discontinued since 1919; highest award: Order of Canada), the United States, Ireland, South Africa (discontinued 1952), or too many other countries where English is widely spoken as far as I can tell. Except Papua New Guinea of course - perhaps that's what Darth means by "international".

Labels: aristocrats, free trade not so fast, media, national, papua new guinea, spin

Consider the following stories from today's papers, and then consider how they would be reported if we still had a Labour-led government. I'll colour code the alternate headlines for the purpose of emphasis.


Today's story 1:

Boy-racer law ready in six months
The Government is looking at law changes to create a new boy racer-related offence and will give police powers to take cars off repeat offenders. ...

Mr Key said it would take four to six weeks to draft legislation, which could pass within six months.

"We are not going to put up with what we saw in Christchurch."

Alternate headline in event of Labour-led government:

Relief for besieged communities half a year away


Today's story 2:

PM runs bank 'health check'

The prime minister has taken the extraordinary step of seeking personal assurances from the big four Australian-owned banks that they are healthy and will be fair to consumers.

John Key revealed yesterday that he met the head of ANZ-National on Thursday in the Beehive and visited Westpac, ASB and BNZ in Auckland on Friday.

Alternate headline in event of Labour-led government:

Government intervenes, but powerless to act in event of bank failure


Today's story 3:

Key rules out big rise in minimum wage

A hefty rise in the minimum wage is being ruled out as the recession bites.

Prime Minister John Key confirmed yesterday that the Government would consider a Labour Department paper next week, canvassing options including linking future rises to inflation. But with businesses struggling through a severe downturn, the Government is under pressure to keep a lid on wage costs.

Alternate headline in event of Labour-led government:

Inflation-indexed increase will send thousands to dole queue


Today's story 4:

Cabinet crew to join boss on return to Te Tii

Former prime minister Helen Clark steered clear of Te Tii after her entourage was jostled by protesters in 2004, and preferred to attend the official Waitangi commemorations.

Mr Key is returning to Te Tii after going there as Opposition leader last year. He said yesterday that it had always been his intention to return as prime minister.

Alternate headline in event of Labour-led government:

Labour plucks up courage in face of more Maori threats

Labels: labour, lickspittle herald watch, media, national

Somewhat predictably, the USD700 billion corporate raid on public accounts is insufficient to prop up US capitalism.

Yet, the DomPost declares that our "Prime-Minister-in-waiting" remains "upbeat". Well, thank Christ for that. Actually, if I was polling 52% this close to an election, on the back of not much effort, and with a shadow Cabinet full of scary 90s neoliberals and that horrid Collins woman, I'd be pretty fucking upbeat too. No matter how hard Michael Cullen (personally responsible for the current worldwide downturn, in its entirety, suggests the New Zealand Herald), "rains on my parade."

FOR FUCK'S SAKE.

It will be interesting to see how the financial meltdown plays out during the Canadian federal election, Oct 14th. Live drunken blogging right here if anyone's interested.

Meanwhile, a bad week for our resident comments man. And I'm not just talking about his share portfolio. First his beloved Storm are given a sound thrashing in the Grand Final, then a certain Southland Mayor claims to have banged his favourite MP!

Labels: capitalism, herald, john key, media, nrl grand final, politics

A slightly belated response to rugby thug, Brian Lochore.

But first, what's with the National Star-Times today? "Labour to Glenn: Help us Again!" Wow, both a rhyme and an exclamation mark in the lead story on-line - sure makes Labour seem desperate. The sum total of reporting in the story: Mike Williams met briefly with Glenn in France. No new donation was forthcoming. Wow. Interestingly, one of the most insightful takes on Owen Glenn's in today's papers from none other than Coddington:

Just six months ago Glenn was uttering bizarre words about Labour's behaviour. He gave half a million dollars to the party, he said, to even the score over the Exclusive Brethren, but that didn't check out because his donation was made long before the 2005 election.

He also said Clark offered him a Cabinet post but no one believed that one. Clark's no fool and Labour allocates its portfolios by vote.

Then Glenn told the New Zealand Herald he was in line to be consul general of Monaco (when that position wasn't due), and don't forget the mystery about Glenn offering Sir Howard Morrison $1 million to stand for Parliament.

Why give this man credibility over Peters? He's become the Exclusive Brethren of this year's election.

I don't by any means think Glenn's actively malevolent, but he sure is eccentric and unreliable.

Then, "'Labour's finished' - Harawira". Err, Ok. First of all, Harawira is a big mouth fuckwit who likes to say controversial things. He should not be indulged in this by the media. Second, Parti Maori would be electoral poison for National if they actually continued to represent a Maori nationalist/separatist perspective. As they would for Labour, come to think of it. The alternative is that they become conservative, brown-skinned blue-bloods, and are crucified by their own supporters at the following election, a la NZ First's Maori MPs in 1999.

Now, on to this new PC world so bemoaned by some old guy who apparently coached the All Blacks once. I for one think many of the developments he so bewails are great.

- Society turning fathers into "male mothers" obsessed with safety instead of adventure, such that you're not supposed to take them on the back of motorbikes or horses. Well, leaving aside the fact that children probably still enjoy riding horses as much as they ever did, and that horseback riding is good exercise and actually encouraged for disabled kids, I take this to mean: "Fathers are now encouraged to think about their children's safety, and not recklessly endanger them." To which I say: good.

- He used to be able to go drinking while his children were left either (a) playing in the mud; or (b) in the back of the car. Presumably after one of these hilarious rugby parties, for the duration of which his kids were left unattended and with little to do, he drove home drunk. Nice one. I for one am glad that society now discourages parents from leaving their kids in order to drink piss with their buddies. It's called being a good, responsible parent.

- No one respects authority anymore, there's always someone protesting. Leaving aside the complete lack of connection between these two assertions, I suspect he's mistaken on the first count (some kids always gave their teachers and/or parents shit, and some still do), and I think the right to protest is one of the most important and valuable rights in a democracy. Presumably he actually supports the right to protest when it's exercised by his right-wing, pro-child-smacking mates.

- Adults are no longer allowed to dish out random violence against their children, and other people's children. Really ... enough said.

- " You as a father, with the aid of your partner - I can't say 'wife' these days, PC. You are the one who sets the ground rules." Well you can certainly say 'wife' if it applies, but partner is a pretty useful term too. I sense a certain implied patriarchy here, in which the father is the primary rule setter, and the 'wife' backs him up. (i.e., "It's the star of the show Wayne! And with him as always is Garth.") I actually value equality in parenting.

Labels: all blacks, labour, media, Parti Maori, politics

Sure, there's more heat than light in the media analysis of the "shocking" revelations that National is still actually a right wing party, and - as in 1990 - are willing to promise a "Decent Society" while secretly-planning vicious neoliberal assaults on the fabric of the country - but it is nice to see the media change tack after countless months of bashing Labour at every opportunity.

A nice breather, really, although I still don't need Duncan Garner and his ilk to tell me who today's winners and losers are.

I already knew Lockwood Smith was a right wing arsehole, for example.

Labels: media, national, nineties all over again, TV news

Is it just me or is the mainstream media in this country getting weirder and weirder?

Leading TV3 tonight is a story on a guy who faked his own death. The story was fairly old, it seemed the only news was that he has now been named. Whoopdy shit, this is a human interest story, albeit it a fairly sad, sick twisted one.

This bumped the DEATH OF A POLICE OFFICER ON DUTY (something which happens on average about once every 5 years) to the second news item.

Are they taking the piss or what?

Labels: media, police, tv3, wtf?

Last night TV3 carried two non-truck related politics stories, both fed to them by "poor little rich party National." First, John Key had a whine that someone had put a mildly critical video about him on youtube. Cry me a river. (TV3 anxious to point out link to said video, previously unheard of, available through its site). Second, National complained that members of the public were sending them mass-printed postcards critical of privatization. This correspondence from the public was met with threats of litigation from Bill "bring back the Birch" English. Nice.

Labels: john key, media, national, politics, TV news, whiny bitches

Prime, TV1 and TV3 all led with "the Jimmy Cowan story" last night.

That story being: "second-rate employee of high-profile company has been on a few benders lately, and made an arse of himself."

The poor bastard was absolutely surrounded by cameras and sanctimonious journalists upon emerging from the NZRFU offices (which look a bit like a pre-dairy boom milkshed actually).

He was "suitably" contrite for media purposes, but might well have asked the lazy fucking hacks whether they've ever been out on benders themselves. And whether said benders have ever led to embarrassment and brushes with the law. And, if so, whether their employers insisted they go teetotal.

Get a grip, people: his is only a "rolemodel" (TM) in so far as he can catch a ball, run with it, pass it (and stop opposing players from doing same). What he does in his spare time is none of his employer's business, providing it does not significantly affect his ability to work.

And it's none of the public's fucking business whatsoever.

Labels: drunk, graham henry, media, milksheds, rugby, sanctimony

It was a chilly, blustery Saturday when I was summoned to Westgate Shopping Centre at the end of the northwestern motorway. First stop was a quick moccachino, and from inside the cafe I quickly appraised myself, and Mrs_Red, of our surroundings.

First, the parking lot was full. We're talking jammed to capacity here. Luckily for us, we had secured what appeared to be the last space, without any trouble at all.

Second, vehicles in said lot were generally of a high quality: relatively new, clean, look-like-they-are-fun-to-drive models. Most looked far superior to ours, that's for sure.

Third, people were out shopping with a vengeance. $4 moccachinos weren't the half of it. Every shop seemed to be doing a roaring trade.

Last, the drivers and shoppers referred to in the preceding points seemed relatively cheerful, inclement weather (which had no doubt attracted many to Westgate in the first instance) notwithstanding.

Which made me wonder, really ... where's this recession we're hearing about. Upon relating said observations to Mrs_Red, she responded: "the media wants there to be a recession, so National will get into power. And even if there isn't one, they want people to think there's a recession, which will achieve the same result."

It was about this time that Paula Bennett, MP, former McCully acolyte and self-described as "currently based in Waitakere" (words which suggest less a diehard commitment to the people of West Auckland than a latent desire to return to her native North Shore), drove past in her ridiculous advert-vehicle. Actually, she was a passenger, some bloke was driving.

I resolved that if she came into the cafe, I was going to invite her to open her eyes to our surroundings, and then reflect on whether National's constant bagging of the economy (best supporting actor: the media) was really justified.

But she didn't.

Labels: economics, media, national, paula bennett mp, westgate shopping centre

Contrary to media opinion, I'm happy to live in a country where incumbent governments aren't guaranteed to win 'elections'.

In fact, I believe there's a word for the kind of country where the return of the party in power is assured, and then regularly rake in, y'know, 99.8% of the popular vote.

Key, who apparently sees recognition of democracy as a sign of Cabinet disunity, can STFU too. Would he prefer Goff go around proclaiming "There's absolutely no way we can lose this election, because I've personally filled in all the ballots myself."

Because that's the alternative. Dickhead.

Labels: democracy, dickheads, john key, media

Seriously, have they ever been referred to as New Zealand's "First Couple"? I'm talking about Helen Clark and her husband Peter Davis.

I love this bit from the 'article', if you'd dare grace it with that term:

An online poll at nzherald.co.nz found 80 per cent of the 3000 respondents by 10
o'clock last night believed Labour was to blame for its polling troubles, 16 per
cent blamed "the media" and 4 per cent National.

That's a bit like the Greens trumpeting a survey which said that 80% of respondents want more land protected and more renewable sources of energy, taken from folks starting the Milford Track.

News flash for the cocks at NZ Herald. Most of your readers vote National, most of them are wealthy (enough to afford the internet), and do not live in South Auckland (and therefore since they never get surveyed your poll results will always be shit meaning a tidy wee shock for you when that real one comes out every three years). If your polls had any credibility at all Labour wouldn't have had 9 years in power because at the last election you consistently had National out in front and WTF happened?

Go poll Otara and Avondale fleamarkets. Or better yet my house. 100% Green Bro!

Labels: crap, media

Lazy & outraged 1:
Continued use of "flicking" to describe (or, rather, downplay) alleged assault of a child. I am tempted to counteract this by describing the event, about which I know as little as the Herald, as "a full-blooded, closed-fist, round-house punch to the side of the head."

Lazy & outraged 2:
New guy in representative sports team gets drunk, injures self, makes arse of self ... can't play again for some time.

This momentous event in the history of the nation, and indeed, all sport everywhere in the world, clearly demands the lead story on Prime News, lead on TV3, lead on TV1, in all the sports news as well, then lead Campbell Live and lead Close Up, before being in Crowd Goes Wild as well. Astute comments here.

Would that the non-sensical blatherings of a certain opposition leader attract half as much critical attention.

Lazy & outraged 3:
Colin Espiner doesn't know (or care) that an election requires the dissolution of Parliament.

Lazy & outraged 4:
The "poor little us!" routine from the National Herald this morning, after it came in for some mild-mannered criticism from Clark and Davis. I think the editor doth protesth too much.

But I hope the "First Couple" (what?) feel better, because criticism of the media, even when richly deserved, only ever makes things worse.

Labels: crap, media

Dear folks,

I’m so very sorry for missing our fourth birthday. I have been in Havana, subsisting without pants (gracias a Air Canada for loosing my bags for four days) and without confirmed accommodation (gracias a onslaught of pasty-middle-class tourists that sold out all of Cuba’s hotels). So I do apologize for not being around, and I hope that the lads saved me some birthday cake, while I was couch surfing in Havana. Mind you, I know that Yamis is a guy who likes his cake, so I won’t be disappointed if it is all gone.

By now you’ve heard the news. Fidel Castro is no longer governing the country. It’s official now. The truth of the matter is that he has not governed it for close to two years, and some of the most important economic and social programs have been deployed since 2002 without his direct supervision.

I was in Havana when the news of Fidel’s retirement came. And when it came? Nothing. Not a single thing out of the ordinary. The sun rose, people went to work, and life carried on. After all, the real good-bye Fidel party took place in December 2006 in the form of a delayed 80th birthday party.

Not to gloat, but this is exactly what I said (August 02, 2006) would happen here on this blog. Did the world pay attention? Nope.

On February 19th, a CNN reporter, at three in the morning, was seen on a deserted street in old Havana. He was bantering something to the extent that, “Yes, I’m standing here in the middle of Havana, and it is still pretty quiet, because everyone is still asleep. We are waiting for the onslaught of chaos to ensue tomorrow morning when people wake up and read the papers.”

For 50 years now the Western Media has forecasted the mass upheaval of Cuban society with the departure of Fidel Castro. The U.S. State Department has thought the same. Even the CIA believed it so, and with multiple assassination attempts against Fidel, they hoped that the entire society would fall open to the warm, and glowing, embrace of U.S. Capitalism.

These people are truly stupid. They are stupid in the sense that they have not learned a single thing about Cuban society or its politics for about half a century. And it came down to some poor CNN reporter standing in the deserted street with his dick in the wind trying to convince the world that the counter revolution was about ready to bleed out of the walls.

To me, this is a fascinating time in the sense of watching how the western media handles the normalcy of the post-Castro era. How will they manage to back-pedal on so many years of false prophecy?

And what of the public imagination? So many people in Canada tell me that they want to go to Cuba “before Castro dies.” Well, there’s still time for that. Even the loveable cab driver that took me to Montréal’s airport told me of such personal desire.
It is a little worrisome to see how unequipped media and popular perception is in understanding Cuba, and even the world we live in. We could dig deeper into this, but it largely comes down to how people see orchestrated and monumental movements as the moments of a society’s change rather than an infinite series of presents that all, in some way, create an unfolding path of change.

Labels: Cuba, Fidel Castro, media

I don't really have a strong opinion about Barack Obama one way or the other. I do have a vague yet entirely unsubstantiated feeling that if he was the Democratic candidate, the Republican machine would make mince-meet of him, in a way they would struggle to do with Clinton or Edwards.

One thing that I do find curious though is the way he is always labelled as "black" or "African American". His wikipedia page for example includes this detail in the first paragraph: "He is the fifth African American Senator in U.S. history, the third to have been popularly elected, and the only African American currently serving in the U.S. Senate."

I know "race" figures very prominently in the US - as indeed does gender (the constant "will Hillary be the first female President?" question) but really ... Obama's mother was quite patently white. Now he is perfectly entitled to identify as "black" or "African American" or whatever, but it seems strange to this outsider that his decidedly mixed parentage (white/black Kenyan) is elided in favour of his constantly being labelled "black." I can't imagine he'd want to deny his "white" background (his mother apparently being very intelligent and engaging from what I've read - both she and his father earned PhDs). We're not talking a single white great-grandparent here.

Thankfully the media here doesn't harp on about these things too much in the domestic context (e.g., I haven't heard the media labelling John Key "Jewish" ... and I don't even know if he even identifies as such - nor do I care), but I am reminded of another political party leader who seems keen to deny or at least "conveniently overlook" her mixed parentage.

I realize this is murky territory, in which some are quick to take offence, but it all strikes me as rather strange. As it did in person when a certain relatively well-known professor - whose father was Scottish and whose mother was Maori - went on a quite spectacular rant at a public event I attended, to the effect of Pakeha had oppressed her people, and her personally, the Pakeha system disadvantaged her at every step (note she was a a full professor), separatism was the way to go for Maori like her, and so on. "I had a Scottish father. Nice chap. But white = bad. And brown = good." Oh fuck off you racist old bigot I felt like saying.

Labels: media, obama, turia

Errg, I just heard the inevitable story on Morning Report: "NZ retailers worried about slow pre-Christmas sales." They trot out this shit every year and a lazy media laps it up. In 2-3 days we will hear: "NZ retailers relieved by last-minute spending spree." Y'know, just like we do every year.

Cricket correspondent Jonathon Millmow has another go this morning, but is rather self-referential in discussing the team's response to media criticism. Yeah, criticism that has come from Millmow himself (and rightly so).

The interesting thing is that Millmow reports, at considerable length, Vettori's defence of Comical Braces. What this actually means is that Braces is fucked if we lose today. A leading player (esp. a captain) coming to defence of the coach in this way (i.e., beyond: "he's good, we like him") is like the deputy leader of a political party swearing undying loyalty to the leader. Followed by a challenge at the start of the next week. When someone is actually in charge at the top, no one needs to offer long-winded defences.

Labels: crap, cricket, media

I doubt I'm the only one who really can't be bothered to give a flying fuck about this issue. Does anyone outside the beltway, and the commentariat 1 2, really give a damn? Should they?

Maybe it's a welcome break from the usual media diet of rugby, rugby, weather, rugby, weather, netball, and "build up to the 2011 world cup"(TM) ... but more likely the overwhelming majority of New Zealanders have other things to think about. Like work. Or painting the wardrobe. Or taking the car for its warrant. To name a few things that are occupying my mind at the moment. Not very exciting by most standards, but scintillating compared to the latest drama out of Wellington?

Labels: media, politics