blogging it real

In a feeble and repugnant effort to defend the predictable impact of National's "tough on crime" (TM) legislative posturing - i.e., no impact whatsoever - the loathsome Judith "Crusher" Collins manages to both lie and try to pass the buck to the previous government. Who said she couldn't walk and chew gum at the same time?

"Why would anybody be surprised when we've inherited nine years of a Labour government, unfortunately no recognition from the previous government that methamphetamine was a problem," she said.

"We have a violent society and it has got more violent over the years and particularly amongst some young people who are unbelievably violent, and we can see it on the attacks on police and the fact that we have had to bring in Tasers," she said.

"We've only just rolled those out."

That would be the same labour government that made methamphetamine a Class A drug, and waged a prolonged "war" on its manufacture and distribution, then? National's subsequent contribution simply forcing people with colds to spread their viruses in doctor's waiting rooms in order to pay $35 for a prescription for effective relief.

And then there's young people of course. Bastards, the lot of them. Nothing a good "taze" won't fix though, eh?

Judith Collins - a bitch in the finest tradition of Jenny Shipley.

Labels: bloody youth, crime, drugs, judith collins, national

In his just released autobiography the Warriors Steve Price has given an excellent insider's account of the behaviour of the former CEO and heavy Mick Watson:

Mick may have been ambitious but I didn't like the way he was talking about some of the players that were already at the club. I had seen him talk to Francis acting as if they were good mates and I couldn't help but wonder: 'If you're saying that to me about Francis, what are you saying to the other guys about me?'

I had heard a number of things about PJ Marsh and how he was sent packing from the club when he really didn't want to be. Mick would tell me that PJ was causing problems, but the players said otherwise. Then there was Vinnie Anderson. He had just returned from the Kiwi tour of Great Britain when all of a sudden he started being called out of training to meet with Mick. Two weeks later he was off to St Helens in England. Before he left he was quoted in the media saying, 'I'll never play for the Warriors while Mick Watson is in charge'. Mick would tell me that there were a number of issues with Vinnie — one being that he was told not to tour with the Kiwis in 2004 so he could get over an injury and have a full pre-season for the club — and that he didn't have the right attitude, but that didn't make sense to me. I had started to become good friends with Vinnie and he loved being at the Warriors, loved living in New Zealand and loved his team-mates. Here was Mick telling me otherwise and it didn't add up.

Eventually Mick stopped talking to me as well. Rumours started circling through the media about how I was homesick and wanted to return to the Bulldogs. People would call me to ask if the rumours were true and I had to tell them they were way off the mark.

It was exactly the same cycle that had taken place time and time again. I had heard similar stories about Ali Lauiti'iti and even Stacey Jones. Once the rumours began about me I knew I was next on the chopping block.

I just didn't like the way he went about his business. There was no trust in the place and I could understand why.

Even the front office staff were frightened of him. Mick is quite an intimidating guy when you look at the size of him and he can be quite aggressive.

Mick Watson successfully drained the club of some of its top talent and several forgetable seasons followed.

It was bloody tough for fans to accept - (admittedly less so for Yamis).

Interesting though how accurate a portrayal of the clubs woes was being written by outsiders, at the time.

Anyway, my tip for tonight: Kiwis.

Although the King just suggests flipping a coin.

From the same article, imagine if an Indian cricket sports great said the equivalent about Andrew Symonds.

Of another of the Kiwi danger men, giant winger Manu Vatuvei, once a regular target of opposition kickers because of handling frailties, Lewis said the New Zealand Warrior looked to have put those woes behind him and was exuding plenty of confidence.

Vatuvei was in rampaging form against England last weekend, notching a World Cup recording-equalling four tries in the match.

"Without being insulting, he's a gorilla when he's out there on the field," Lewis said.

We'll just take it as a compliment.

But the most satisfying piece of journalism I've read lately was a story regarding the freakish mystery of the numerous shoes, complete with detached and decomposing feet, that keep washing up in Canada and the northern US.

Seven feet in the last two years....and check out the quote.

The discovery of dismembered feet, all in buoyant sneakers, has been headline-grabbing world news for the last year....

Dr. John Butt, a forensic pathologist and former chief medical examiner in Alberta and Nova Scotia, said earlier this year that finding the feet in the same area is difficult to explain, although that's not the case with the condition of the feet.

Butt said a foot and leg will separate naturally, in water or in the ground, given enough time.

Gold.

I know the media is accused of focusing too much of its coverage on crime and death, and it undeniably does, but to be fair to them there have been some damned interesting crime stories out there lately.

Like Germany's Woman without a Face.

In April 2007, Michèle Kiesewetter, a 22-year-old policewoman from an elite drugs squad, was taking a lunch break with a colleague in their BMW patrol car in Heilbronn, nearly 100 miles from Bad Kreuznach. Two people climbed into the back seat and shot the officers from behind, killing the woman and seriously injuring her 25-year-old partner. The assailants struck so quickly their victims had not even drawn their weapons.

As dozens of green-uniformed officers, carrying a smiling portrait of their murdered colleague, paraded at her funeral, the case shocked and moved the country. It also sparked one of the largest criminal investigations in German history - with results that at first puzzled, then stunned, the investigators.

The only clue was microscopic traces of DNA, found on the centre console and the rear passenger seat of the BMW. And when the samples were finally fully secured, tested and compared with Germany's central crime database nearly three months later, there was an extraordinary match - from two quite different murder scenes stretching back a decade and a half. The 'Woman Without a Face' had, it seemed, struck again.

To the Canadian film producer who found his latest creation came to life - unfortunately his art wasn't no Pinocchio - but a film script about a stranger who gets lured to a garage and cut to pieces.

Meanwhile, in New Zealand our law breakers don't seem to understand the most fundamental basics of committing crime - trying to get away with it.

Stacey Bennett knew she was too drunk to be driving - so she called the police...

"She stopped outside the Northern Dairy (Stratford) and used a pay phone to call police to request assistance," Prosecuting Sergeant Lewis Sutton said.

Bennett told police she had been drinking and had decided she was too drunk to carry on.

"Police arrived at 4.46am to find the defendant asleep in the driver's seat with the headlights on and the keys in the ignition," Mr Sutton said.

Nor him.

Labels: crime, rugby league, warriors

Rt Hon John Banks
Minister of Crime & Lord Mayor of Auckland
The Beehive
Wellington

2 Feb 2009

"It is with great pleasure I announce a contract for the first Crown Crime Enterprise in the Manukau Ward of my beloved Greater Real Auckland Mega-Metropolis Area Region ('GRAMMAR')," his Worship said.

The Crown has entered into a contract with the previously-feared Wu Tang Triad of Botany Downs to flight crime in the area.

"This is an important first step in reducing crime in Auckland/GRAMMAR, so cruelly abandoned under nine long years of Labour government.

"By scrapping Working For Families, and diverting money into a series of Crown Crime Enterprises (CCEs), we will deliver significant benefits to those New Zealanders who remain in work," the Minister continued.

Lord Banks said the Wu Tang Triad would fight crime on a maximum 98% of the budget previously wasted by the socialized Police force, but would only be paid upon delivery of wanted criminals, or their heads, to local "Kiwi Incarceration Enterprises" (KIEs), previously known as prisons.

"Wu Tang will later be joined by other crime-fighting groups, such as the the Mighty Purebred Mob Inc., and compete to capture criminals (or their heads) in the Manukau region," the Lord Mayor of Auckland/GRAMMAR and senior government minister stated.

"Together with head of the State Law and Order Restoration Commission (SLORC), Tau Henare, Minister for Roads, Tony Friedlander, and Prime Minister for Life, HRH John Key, this is another example of the National party delivering on its promise of efficiency in these lean times."

"Crown Crime Enterprises may be fully privatized in the near future, to allow those New Zealanders who remain in paid work to contract their own security, according to their own needs, which will ensure safe journeys for all, along highways paved with good intentions and low taxes, to your nearest Crown Health Enterprise (CHE), or to visit a relative in the nearest KIE," the Lord Mayor explained to an adoring audience outside a liquor store on Great South Road.

"We will stop at nothing in paying large American corporations to build new KIEs in every community, and since we scrapped the Resource Management Act (RMA), that's a lot easier than it used to be," added the Minister for the Environment, and Minister for Tight Neckties, Nick Smith.

Labels: auckland, crime, john banks, national, nineties all over again, police, wu tang clan

That's what it will be if the truck drivers' tax rebellion produces the "paralysis" (John Campbell, 3 July 2008) the media is salivating for.

People are being told to stay home. Right, and at whose expense would this unscheduled day off be? If it's mine, the truck drivers are stealing my annual leave. If it's my work, they're stealing my employer's money - via my salary - as surely as if they embezzled it directly.

People are being told to go in to work after 11 am. Right, and if I work in a shop, who is going to serve the customers earlier in the day? Oh, that's right, said customers won't be there ... to the detriment of hard-working business owners and their employees. Again, the truck drivers might as well just reach right into the tills and steal the morning's cash taking, and siphon the eftpos sales directly into their fucking diesel accounts.

Those with early morning flights are being told to consider staying at airport hotels overnight. Right, and to which trucker should I send the invoice for said accommodation? What that's ... you expect it to come out of my post-tax salary? Get to fuck! Perhaps if I don't like paying the GST on said hotel bill, or the taxes of fuel I will use to get there, I could just park my car sideways across a couple of lanes of the airport motorway, and walk to my departure gate?

Bus passengers are going to be ejected on the city edge and told to hoof it, regardless of (dis)ability or weather. And it would be a long fucking hike from John Andrew Ford on Gt North Rd to my workplace.

And the Police seem entirely complicit in this terrorizing of the civilian population.

Where's that pepper spray when you need it, you spineless fucks? Break into the first 10 truck cabs that appear in the downtown convoy and break a few fucking heads, I say.

If it's good enough for the proletarians it's good enough for tax rebels in the petite bourgeoisie.

Labels: crime, dickheads, police, terrorism, trucks, War on Terror

#1. Shock headline: Labour condemned on liquor outlet issue

It would be just as accurate to lead with: "Mealy-mouthed opposition makes generic criticism of government." But don't expect to see that any time soon.

So how about: "National criticizes liquor outlet plan" or something vaguely neutral?

#2. Readers' views on solution to crime

It's always fun to see what the talkback mob who hang out on the Herald's Your Views section have to say (hint: it's actually conservative populism a la NZ First, not neoliberal conservativism a la National), but here the Herald has highlighted a select few for our special attention. The fifth comment down, from the self-described "Warrior Legend" of Howick:

Prison is a place of punishment. If you look at the prisons overseas, prisoners get tortured and some even beaten to death! This should be the same standard here before more innocent people get killed!

Yes, torture and indiscriminate murders in prison are clearly the answer, as always. Look what they've achieved in the "War on Terror"(tm). Depriving someone of their liberty is never enough for this blood-thirsty mob. "Crims" are not really punished until also deprived of sleep, testicles and, ultimately, lives.

Bear in mind this a comment the Herald really wants us to read.

Labels: crime, dickheads, herald, national