Monday, January 04, 2010
And This Is Why the SCG Pitch Is Good
Fuck flat pieces of shit.
Roebuck hits it on the head:
On a related note what's with this ridiculous situation we have in NZ now where play starts at 11am is a joke. That 30 minutes from 10:30 to 11am used to be a real chance for the bowlers each day to snare a wicket. Now they kickoff at 11am so that we have the added shit at the end of the day worrying about bad light and meaning that if any play is lost during the day there is fuck all chance of making it up.
One step forward, two steps back.
Admittedly in world cricket at the moment we are lacking a few bowling stars with the retirement of McGrath and Warne amongst lesser others but for Johnson to be the highest wicket taker comfortably in 2009 with an average of around 28.5 ahead of others in the 30s and 40s says it all. You would never, fucking ever in decades have had the highest test wicket takers in a season average that high. The top wicket takers should be averaging in the low 20s and the top 10 bowlers in a season should all be under 30.
The ICC need to step in and do something about this because ODI cricket and 20/20 were invented so the batsmen could show their blades, test cricket should see wickets tumbling and batsmen having to show some guts to make runs, not 4.5 runs an over day after day as teams rack up 500+ barely breaking a sweat. Excusing NZ that is. We couldn't break 500 in an entire match if we were playing the Parnell womens under 15s.
Roebuck hits it on the head:
Of course modern batsmen are sooks. Of course, they run the game. Of course it was ridiculous to cancel the contest in Delhi: 93 for 5 is supposed to be a crisis? In the years of drying pitches, it was a promising position. And in those days batsmen did not wear helmets. For decades they wore spiky little gloves. Garry Sobers did not bother with a thigh pad. Were any groundsmen sacked during the recent run-feast posing as a Test series between India and Sri Lanka? Were those featherbeds okay? The message to curators is clear: prepare shirtfronts or pay the penalty. Protect the batsmen. Frustrate the bowlers.If I had to go out and open the batting on quite literally grass pitches that were covered in dew at 9am on pitches that sloped so bad they made Lords look flatter than a pancake (like the one at Sturges Park in Otahuhu which had a raised hump at one end) then test batsmen can harden the fuck up and expect the ball to do something now and then.
On a related note what's with this ridiculous situation we have in NZ now where play starts at 11am is a joke. That 30 minutes from 10:30 to 11am used to be a real chance for the bowlers each day to snare a wicket. Now they kickoff at 11am so that we have the added shit at the end of the day worrying about bad light and meaning that if any play is lost during the day there is fuck all chance of making it up.
One step forward, two steps back.
Admittedly in world cricket at the moment we are lacking a few bowling stars with the retirement of McGrath and Warne amongst lesser others but for Johnson to be the highest wicket taker comfortably in 2009 with an average of around 28.5 ahead of others in the 30s and 40s says it all. You would never, fucking ever in decades have had the highest test wicket takers in a season average that high. The top wicket takers should be averaging in the low 20s and the top 10 bowlers in a season should all be under 30.
The ICC need to step in and do something about this because ODI cricket and 20/20 were invented so the batsmen could show their blades, test cricket should see wickets tumbling and batsmen having to show some guts to make runs, not 4.5 runs an over day after day as teams rack up 500+ barely breaking a sweat. Excusing NZ that is. We couldn't break 500 in an entire match if we were playing the Parnell womens under 15s.
Labels: cricket, nz cricket, poofters
Friday, April 03, 2009
Basin Preview: Chuck Z in Absentia
It is very bright here today. Perfect still sunny morning - Welly putting on an unbeatable 'good day'. The wind will be the warmer northerly when it gets up, there is no rain on the radar for the duration.
Enjoy possibly the last match where Jesse 'The Body' Ryder is a delightful revelation rather than the man carrying our hopes. Assuming he does well again we (being kiwi sports fans) will start to expect it always of him and criticise him when he doesn't always make the grade. Honeymoon over sort of thing.
Enjoy possibly the last match where Jesse 'The Body' Ryder is a delightful revelation rather than the man carrying our hopes. Assuming he does well again we (being kiwi sports fans) will start to expect it always of him and criticise him when he doesn't always make the grade. Honeymoon over sort of thing.
Labels: basin reserve, cricket, jesse the body, wellington
Friday, January 23, 2009
New Zealand Cricket, a Hazard to your Batsman's Health
After an exhaustive study lasting for about 3 hours spread over 3 nights and 9 beers I have come up with the following statistics PROVING beyond a shadow of a doubt that being selected for the Blackcaps and going into their 'environment' is a bad career move if you enjoy gripping a wooden tool.
Essentially what I did was go back and look at all our batsmen that have played test cricket for NZ post 2000 and compared the first half of their careers with the second half of their careers.
Now you would expect that when a player first plays test cricket they are a bit inexperienced, raw and prone to performing a little below their ability. And as time goes by they gain confidence and experience and improve on their performance. There is an expression often bandied around in the NRL that players don't become really useful until they have played 100 first grade games. For most players that would be in their 5th season. Now I'm aware that batting in cricket is for the most parts a game based around eye sight and reflexes on the back of a solid foundation of being able to play cricket strokes but all the same, I expect NZ batsmen to improve after being called into the Blackcaps. They have access to the best coaches, facilities and technology in terms of analysis. They also get to face the best bowlers in the world and should become more comfortable facing them over time, NOT LESS.
But indeed ladies and gentlemen, out batsmen as a whole have worsened while being a part of the Blackcaps setup.
And here is the proof. Of the 24 players I looked at, 14 have seen their average go down and just 10 have improved over the second half of their career. The 'average average' for the first half of their careers is 33.53 and the average for the second half of their careers is 30.04. Bare in mind that those stats would look even worse if they didn't drop players for crap form.
Here's the stats fo yo ass in alfabetakill orda.
ASTLE 35.94 to 37.06 improved with age until Bracewell fucked him off (or told him to fuck off).
BELL 14.7 to 33.9 I don't think you could do worse than 14.7 but that's a respectable second half from Bell. A shame about the 3 ducks in his last 5 innings.
CAIRNS 27.78 to 39.41 As raw as hell when first selected as a 19 year old, he started to own that shit late in his career and went from a pie chucker to quite a skillful bowler as well.
CUMMING 27.89 to 23.75 A 74 on debut and then fails to pass 50 thereafter. Probably a bit limited for this level. Solid (and I mean that in a nice way) failure.
FLEMING 37.18 to 44.92 No point commenting on this guys career. We all analysed it to shit.
FLYNN 38.8 to 46.17 Helped by not outs. Limited ability, relies on Yamis's stock shot of the angled bat down through gully for a single or better yet a 4. Expect him to crash and burn and never been seen in a NZ shirt with black stripy arms again beyond 2009.
FULTON 29 to 19.6 Lacks technique against top bowlers but possibly a victim of the life and form sucking Bracewell vampire era.
HORNE 38.63 to 17.8 What the fuck happened here? old age?
HOW 21.19 to 25.41 Showed real promise but for some reason has had a mental implosion and now seems to lack basic intelligence as to how to craft an innings. Form has turned to shit but may get it back.
McCULLUM 33.7 to 29.4 Now this is concerning and I put it down to Twenty FUCKING 20 (and John Bracewell). This guy is New Zealand Crickets answer to Dan Carters sabbatical accept McCullum will seemingly be allowed one EVERY FUCKING YEAR GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.
McMILLAN 40.3 to 36.5 Ummmmmmm, diabetes plus Bracewell?
J MARSHALL 26 to 12.4 How did this guy get selected in the first place? Mind you he probably just about deserves it on current form. A nice wee example of a guy who got worse after being in the BC setup.
H MARSHALL 60.4 to 13.5 Now that is a booming fall from grace. He looked like THA BOMB for a while there but then NZC sunk their ugly claws into him.
ORAM 43.73 to 31.17 This crippled old fool reckons he's about one more serious injury away from becoming a batsman only. I say he's about one serious injury away from a dog food factory. Another good example though of a talented cricketer losing it at the batting crease after too many meetings with Bracewell.
PARORE 25.42 to 27.23 Almost doesn't qualify for the list because he's been gone for a fair while but a solid second half to his career but never quite produced as we all expected. Probably should have averaged about 30.
PAPPS 24.57 to 9.25 Yep, awesome.
REDMOND 10.4 to 37.7 Selected because of his dads long and illustrious career. The jury is still out after just 14 innings but I'd say he's fairly close to being out himself.
RICHARDSON 47.1 to 37.7 No brainer here. Old age and stress caused this second half decline but even so, this was a REAL opener produced in NZ (excusing the fact he started as an offspinner). I often lay awake at night with tears on my pillow thinking about a NZ opener who was making serious runs.
RYDER 44.6 to 44.2 Just starting out but expect that average to drop to 40 (if he turns out to be good) or 35 (if he turns out to have just been lucky so far). Or it could just stay at 44.5 after he gets busted for shagging a blowup doll on a beach in Wellington in broad daylight after a night on the turps.
SINCLAIR 44.5 to 22 A headjob. Nothing to blame here except genetics.
STYRIS 41.2 to 30.9 The passion disappeared here. Or skill? Or the body? or else fucking Bracewell!
TAYLOR 45.6 to 24.2 Now this is just not on! Sort yourself out. This is the McCullum illness here. Twenty FUCKING 20 and John Bracewell!
VETTORI 16.8 to 38.2 Here is a man who has grown some balls at the crease. Although it was largely forced on him by the abomination known as the NZ batting lineup over several years. Well done that man.
VINCENT 29.4 to 38.7 Looking at that you'd wonder why he still isn't having a crack especially when his last 6 test scores were 52, 224, 13, 92, 33 and 4. Anyway, I'm off to buy a lotto ticket.
Essentially what I did was go back and look at all our batsmen that have played test cricket for NZ post 2000 and compared the first half of their careers with the second half of their careers.
Now you would expect that when a player first plays test cricket they are a bit inexperienced, raw and prone to performing a little below their ability. And as time goes by they gain confidence and experience and improve on their performance. There is an expression often bandied around in the NRL that players don't become really useful until they have played 100 first grade games. For most players that would be in their 5th season. Now I'm aware that batting in cricket is for the most parts a game based around eye sight and reflexes on the back of a solid foundation of being able to play cricket strokes but all the same, I expect NZ batsmen to improve after being called into the Blackcaps. They have access to the best coaches, facilities and technology in terms of analysis. They also get to face the best bowlers in the world and should become more comfortable facing them over time, NOT LESS.
But indeed ladies and gentlemen, out batsmen as a whole have worsened while being a part of the Blackcaps setup.
And here is the proof. Of the 24 players I looked at, 14 have seen their average go down and just 10 have improved over the second half of their career. The 'average average' for the first half of their careers is 33.53 and the average for the second half of their careers is 30.04. Bare in mind that those stats would look even worse if they didn't drop players for crap form.
Here's the stats fo yo ass in alfabetakill orda.
ASTLE 35.94 to 37.06 improved with age until Bracewell fucked him off (or told him to fuck off).
BELL 14.7 to 33.9 I don't think you could do worse than 14.7 but that's a respectable second half from Bell. A shame about the 3 ducks in his last 5 innings.
CAIRNS 27.78 to 39.41 As raw as hell when first selected as a 19 year old, he started to own that shit late in his career and went from a pie chucker to quite a skillful bowler as well.
CUMMING 27.89 to 23.75 A 74 on debut and then fails to pass 50 thereafter. Probably a bit limited for this level. Solid (and I mean that in a nice way) failure.
FLEMING 37.18 to 44.92 No point commenting on this guys career. We all analysed it to shit.
FLYNN 38.8 to 46.17 Helped by not outs. Limited ability, relies on Yamis's stock shot of the angled bat down through gully for a single or better yet a 4. Expect him to crash and burn and never been seen in a NZ shirt with black stripy arms again beyond 2009.
FULTON 29 to 19.6 Lacks technique against top bowlers but possibly a victim of the life and form sucking Bracewell vampire era.
HORNE 38.63 to 17.8 What the fuck happened here? old age?
HOW 21.19 to 25.41 Showed real promise but for some reason has had a mental implosion and now seems to lack basic intelligence as to how to craft an innings. Form has turned to shit but may get it back.
McCULLUM 33.7 to 29.4 Now this is concerning and I put it down to Twenty FUCKING 20 (and John Bracewell). This guy is New Zealand Crickets answer to Dan Carters sabbatical accept McCullum will seemingly be allowed one EVERY FUCKING YEAR GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.
McMILLAN 40.3 to 36.5 Ummmmmmm, diabetes plus Bracewell?
J MARSHALL 26 to 12.4 How did this guy get selected in the first place? Mind you he probably just about deserves it on current form. A nice wee example of a guy who got worse after being in the BC setup.
H MARSHALL 60.4 to 13.5 Now that is a booming fall from grace. He looked like THA BOMB for a while there but then NZC sunk their ugly claws into him.
ORAM 43.73 to 31.17 This crippled old fool reckons he's about one more serious injury away from becoming a batsman only. I say he's about one serious injury away from a dog food factory. Another good example though of a talented cricketer losing it at the batting crease after too many meetings with Bracewell.
PARORE 25.42 to 27.23 Almost doesn't qualify for the list because he's been gone for a fair while but a solid second half to his career but never quite produced as we all expected. Probably should have averaged about 30.
PAPPS 24.57 to 9.25 Yep, awesome.
REDMOND 10.4 to 37.7 Selected because of his dads long and illustrious career. The jury is still out after just 14 innings but I'd say he's fairly close to being out himself.
RICHARDSON 47.1 to 37.7 No brainer here. Old age and stress caused this second half decline but even so, this was a REAL opener produced in NZ (excusing the fact he started as an offspinner). I often lay awake at night with tears on my pillow thinking about a NZ opener who was making serious runs.
RYDER 44.6 to 44.2 Just starting out but expect that average to drop to 40 (if he turns out to be good) or 35 (if he turns out to have just been lucky so far). Or it could just stay at 44.5 after he gets busted for shagging a blowup doll on a beach in Wellington in broad daylight after a night on the turps.
SINCLAIR 44.5 to 22 A headjob. Nothing to blame here except genetics.
STYRIS 41.2 to 30.9 The passion disappeared here. Or skill? Or the body? or else fucking Bracewell!
TAYLOR 45.6 to 24.2 Now this is just not on! Sort yourself out. This is the McCullum illness here. Twenty FUCKING 20 and John Bracewell!
VETTORI 16.8 to 38.2 Here is a man who has grown some balls at the crease. Although it was largely forced on him by the abomination known as the NZ batting lineup over several years. Well done that man.
VINCENT 29.4 to 38.7 Looking at that you'd wonder why he still isn't having a crack especially when his last 6 test scores were 52, 224, 13, 92, 33 and 4. Anyway, I'm off to buy a lotto ticket.
Labels: blackcaps, bracewell sucks shit, cricket
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Say their names with reverance and pride
With McIntosh providing a solid start to the New Zealand innings yesterday, it's time Chuck Z and I begin to release our Black Caps' test openers analysis on a breathless nation.
In the last 15 seasons, New Zealand test innings have been opened by no fewer than 26 players. Two players (Astle & McCullum), appeared just once each, opening only in the second NZ innings, presumably filling in for injured "real" openers. Interestingly, the former scored 40, and the latter 19*, clearly marking themselves out as real opening material.
There's some unlikely names among the remaining 24:
Mark Greatbatch (a #5 slogger at best I would have thought - he averaged 8.50 in the 93/94 season).
Blair Hartland (averaged 11.00 in his three tests at opener)
Darrin Murray (opened alongside Bryan Young in all 8 tests in the 94-95 season, averaged 20.20, concluded his illustrious test opening career with a 0 and a 0*)
Roger Twose (the tubby one's ODI form didn't translate to an illustrious test opening career in 95/96 or 98/99. He did score a 94 in his first season, and averaged 22.67, which Jamie How would die for about now, but ended his opening career with a pair three years later).
Craig Spearman (enough said - twice the chances of Matthew Sinclair and quarter of the talent)
Justin Vaughan (a poor man's Gavin Larsen, the good Doctor averaged 13.25 in his two tests as opener in 96/97, but in fairness it was in Pakistan. Remember when teams used to tour Pakistan?)
Gary Frickin Stead (the Canterbury grafter averaged an impressive 30 in his 5 innings as New Zealand test opener in 99/00 - demonstrating that mental discipline can perhaps go a long way)
Adam Parore (D-list local celebrity, current star in the IPL retirement home, and sometime mortgage broker, Parore was briefly the world's best wicketkeeper. He filled in as opener 3 times over the 00/01 and 01/02 seasons, with a high score of 36).
Matthew Sinclair (Skippy was a stand-in second-innings opener a couple of times, before having three tests as opener in 04/05. After showing much promise, his last three innings yielded returns of 0, 0 and 2).
Lou Vincent ("the jaw" was a player who, like several others - Sinclair, Marshall the Greater - got generally worse the longer he was exposed to NZ Cricket management and coaching. Opened his opening career with a century and a half-century against Australia in Australia, then pretty much turned to crap - yet managed big scores on tour as an opener against India and Zimbabwe. Appears to have ended his opening career with a 4 in 07/08)
Stephen Fleming (the lamented former captain opened 6 times in his test career, and scored one half-century in that position).
Marshall the Lesser (opened in three tests at the end of the 04/05 season, averaging a handy 30.20).
Marshall the Greater (clearly selected on the basis of his brother's world-beating performance at the end of the previous season, H. Marshall opened in five tests in 05/06. Despite two knocks against Zimbabwe, he only managed to average 12)
Peter Fulton (the walking wicket opened in two tests against South Africa in 05/06, and proved no more effective there than at any other position in the test team - averaging 16.25).
Michael Papps (in and out as test opener since 03/04, starting with a promising 59, then a bunch of ducks, then an 86. Averaged 4 in his two tests in the 07/08 season. Concluded with a 1 which about sums it all up).
In the last 15 seasons, New Zealand test innings have been opened by no fewer than 26 players. Two players (Astle & McCullum), appeared just once each, opening only in the second NZ innings, presumably filling in for injured "real" openers. Interestingly, the former scored 40, and the latter 19*, clearly marking themselves out as real opening material.
There's some unlikely names among the remaining 24:
Mark Greatbatch (a #5 slogger at best I would have thought - he averaged 8.50 in the 93/94 season).
Blair Hartland (averaged 11.00 in his three tests at opener)
Darrin Murray (opened alongside Bryan Young in all 8 tests in the 94-95 season, averaged 20.20, concluded his illustrious test opening career with a 0 and a 0*)
Roger Twose (the tubby one's ODI form didn't translate to an illustrious test opening career in 95/96 or 98/99. He did score a 94 in his first season, and averaged 22.67, which Jamie How would die for about now, but ended his opening career with a pair three years later).
Craig Spearman (enough said - twice the chances of Matthew Sinclair and quarter of the talent)
Justin Vaughan (a poor man's Gavin Larsen, the good Doctor averaged 13.25 in his two tests as opener in 96/97, but in fairness it was in Pakistan. Remember when teams used to tour Pakistan?)
Gary Frickin Stead (the Canterbury grafter averaged an impressive 30 in his 5 innings as New Zealand test opener in 99/00 - demonstrating that mental discipline can perhaps go a long way)
Adam Parore (D-list local celebrity, current star in the IPL retirement home, and sometime mortgage broker, Parore was briefly the world's best wicketkeeper. He filled in as opener 3 times over the 00/01 and 01/02 seasons, with a high score of 36).
Matthew Sinclair (Skippy was a stand-in second-innings opener a couple of times, before having three tests as opener in 04/05. After showing much promise, his last three innings yielded returns of 0, 0 and 2).
Lou Vincent ("the jaw" was a player who, like several others - Sinclair, Marshall the Greater - got generally worse the longer he was exposed to NZ Cricket management and coaching. Opened his opening career with a century and a half-century against Australia in Australia, then pretty much turned to crap - yet managed big scores on tour as an opener against India and Zimbabwe. Appears to have ended his opening career with a 4 in 07/08)
Stephen Fleming (the lamented former captain opened 6 times in his test career, and scored one half-century in that position).
Marshall the Lesser (opened in three tests at the end of the 04/05 season, averaging a handy 30.20).
Marshall the Greater (clearly selected on the basis of his brother's world-beating performance at the end of the previous season, H. Marshall opened in five tests in 05/06. Despite two knocks against Zimbabwe, he only managed to average 12)
Peter Fulton (the walking wicket opened in two tests against South Africa in 05/06, and proved no more effective there than at any other position in the test team - averaging 16.25).
Michael Papps (in and out as test opener since 03/04, starting with a promising 59, then a bunch of ducks, then an 86. Averaged 4 in his two tests in the 07/08 season. Concluded with a 1 which about sums it all up).
Labels: bracewell sucks shit, can't bat for shit, cricket, test openers analysis
Thursday, December 18, 2008
First Class Centuries by current NZ players
Upon reading that the walking wicket, 2MP, had been brought in as cover for Ross "the Samoan" Taylor, I decided to investigate how many 1st class centuries the former had, and who else is around the traps that might be a better prospect, measured solely in terms of first-class centuries. Realizing this favours older players, here goes:
Mathew Sinclair = 26
Matthew Bell = 23
Michael Parlane = 14
RA Jones = 13
Marshall the Lesser = 10
Sachin Tendulkar = 67
Piggy Styris = 9
Poor Injured Jake = 8
Neal Parlane = 8
Ross the Samoan = 7
2MP = 7
James Franklin = 5
One of those players is not currently available for New Zealand unfortunately.
But may I be the first to say, "Bring back Skippy!"
Also, for god's sake, Bell for How, who is averaging 14 in tests so far this season (compared to 35 for the unfortunate Redmond).
Mathew Sinclair = 26
Matthew Bell = 23
Michael Parlane = 14
RA Jones = 13
Marshall the Lesser = 10
Sachin Tendulkar = 67
Piggy Styris = 9
Poor Injured Jake = 8
Neal Parlane = 8
Ross the Samoan = 7
2MP = 7
James Franklin = 5
One of those players is not currently available for New Zealand unfortunately.
But may I be the first to say, "Bring back Skippy!"
Also, for god's sake, Bell for How, who is averaging 14 in tests so far this season (compared to 35 for the unfortunate Redmond).
Labels: blackcaps, bring back Skippy, can't bat for shit, cricket
Friday, November 28, 2008
BLACK DUMB FUCK CAPS
And here we go again with a lesson in how to butcher an innings with basically only one of the 6 wickets to fall having anything whatsoever to do with the bowler.
Do these guys have a clue about how to get big scores at the top level?
I know that we have severe technical deficiencies and far less natural and mental ability than most other test batsmen but that shouldn't mean that they can't at least learn to be better than they are.
This is a 400 run pitch on a bad day and we may still get there (unlikely because our last 3 batsmen are dogs balls) but it will be no thanks to misters Redmond, How, Taylor (sawn off admittedly but he would have holed out in the next few minutes anyway), Ryder and Fulton.
Redmond can be let off because 83 is a good score and if we got 4 of them we'd be posting a big one but his shot was an utter brain explosion. He had forced Ponting into a defensive field setting with three men deep on the leg side so that then means you look for other types of deliveries to work into the gaps you've created. You don't keep hitting it back to the same place and hope that it comes right out of the middle and your timing is perfect.
Anyways stats for the day...
Taylors test scores in order (lowest to highest)
2, 4, 6, 8, 9, 12, 14, 15, 15, 17, 19, 19, 20, 21, 40, 44, 53, 55, 74, 75, 120, 154*
Average of 37.9 (solid)
Median score of 19 (piss poor)
How many bloody starts is that for fuck all 'finishes'?
He is an incredibly talented batsman. I remember watching him on the tellie playing for CD as he spanked the ball to all parts of the boundary thinking that he was going to be one of the greats of NZ cricket and he probably will be one of our standouts but unless somebody gets in his ear and sorts him out he will be another "good but could have been truly great" players that NZ has produced. And by god we produce fuck all batsmen that can hold a pair of nuts for a few hours at a time consistently. He should really be averaging in the 40s without breaking a sweat. Unfortunately this generation is growing up and playing with a procession of openers averaging in the 18 to 28 range and all other batsmen averaging in the low to mid 30s if they are lucky. So to them they are doing Ok if they can deliver something similar. unfortunately all that results in is test wins over Bangladesh and test results like 2 wins and 17 losses v S Africa, OZ and England (under Bracwell and thank fuck he is gone). Although the jury is well and truly out there on his replacement. I'll give him a couple of series to see how he gets our batsmen going but my hopes aren't high. Although anything would be an improvement than the freakshow we've had.
Do these guys have a clue about how to get big scores at the top level?
I know that we have severe technical deficiencies and far less natural and mental ability than most other test batsmen but that shouldn't mean that they can't at least learn to be better than they are.
This is a 400 run pitch on a bad day and we may still get there (unlikely because our last 3 batsmen are dogs balls) but it will be no thanks to misters Redmond, How, Taylor (sawn off admittedly but he would have holed out in the next few minutes anyway), Ryder and Fulton.
Redmond can be let off because 83 is a good score and if we got 4 of them we'd be posting a big one but his shot was an utter brain explosion. He had forced Ponting into a defensive field setting with three men deep on the leg side so that then means you look for other types of deliveries to work into the gaps you've created. You don't keep hitting it back to the same place and hope that it comes right out of the middle and your timing is perfect.
Anyways stats for the day...
Taylors test scores in order (lowest to highest)
2, 4, 6, 8, 9, 12, 14, 15, 15, 17, 19, 19, 20, 21, 40, 44, 53, 55, 74, 75, 120, 154*
Average of 37.9 (solid)
Median score of 19 (piss poor)
How many bloody starts is that for fuck all 'finishes'?
He is an incredibly talented batsman. I remember watching him on the tellie playing for CD as he spanked the ball to all parts of the boundary thinking that he was going to be one of the greats of NZ cricket and he probably will be one of our standouts but unless somebody gets in his ear and sorts him out he will be another "good but could have been truly great" players that NZ has produced. And by god we produce fuck all batsmen that can hold a pair of nuts for a few hours at a time consistently. He should really be averaging in the 40s without breaking a sweat. Unfortunately this generation is growing up and playing with a procession of openers averaging in the 18 to 28 range and all other batsmen averaging in the low to mid 30s if they are lucky. So to them they are doing Ok if they can deliver something similar. unfortunately all that results in is test wins over Bangladesh and test results like 2 wins and 17 losses v S Africa, OZ and England (under Bracwell and thank fuck he is gone). Although the jury is well and truly out there on his replacement. I'll give him a couple of series to see how he gets our batsmen going but my hopes aren't high. Although anything would be an improvement than the freakshow we've had.
Labels: blackcaps, cricket, ross taylor
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Black Caps still sucking
212/9. Repeat performance.
I think we'll win this one, but that doesn't excuse our losing 9 wickets in 50 overs! Faahaaken hell, how much can we take?
Update: woohoo.
I think we'll win this one, but that doesn't excuse our losing 9 wickets in 50 overs! Faahaaken hell, how much can we take?
Update: woohoo.
Labels: blackcaps, bracewell sucks shit, can't bat for shit, crap, cricket, dickheads, incompetent time wasting fucks, new zealand players
Thursday, October 09, 2008
Black Caps suck again
Yup it's true they do they do they do. It's enough to break your fucking heart. Soundly beaten by a shit team. Bangladesh take an seven fucking wicket victory and with it ruin our hopes of an elevation, however temporary, to the number two spot on the ICC ODI rankings. How fucking humiliating. You want to be the number two team in the world boys? Little things like beating the number nine team in the world help, aye? Dumbasses.
In brighter news, oh, that's right, there is no brighter news. This makes everything completely shit.
In brighter news, oh, that's right, there is no brighter news. This makes everything completely shit.
Labels: blackcaps, bracewell sucks shit, can't bat for shit, crap, cricket, dickheads, incompetent time wasting fucks, new zealand players
Friday, September 12, 2008
That's more like it
I knew I was in trouble when DC Red asked me about my recent Pacific holiday and then suggested that my response could be a blog.
I've been engaging in a new form of blogging since my last post, I'll call it anti-blogging, whereby MY SILENCE SPEAKS VOLUMES!
I think Yamis is anti-blogging too, or else he's in shock that the Warriors made the finals series.
I've been anti-blogging because I'm fuckin disgusted! With everything! I came back from holiday into BULLSHIT. Look, I not going to carp on, not why I'm here tonight all cut and hazy. I am here because out of the crescendo of DISGUSTING AWFUL NEWS came a reminder of why I bother at all. Good news came to me today. Something to care about that isn't going to really break my heart. A lighter tragedy than the human tragedy, but one in which the strengths and weaknesses of the human spirit are equally on show and at odds. Yes, today came the happy reminder that more cricket is coming! Ahh yes indeed, that's more like it!
So, today, Dion Nash named a squad of 15 (with two spots trading places for the later Tests) to travel to Bangladesh for three ODIs and two Tests.
Missing from the contracted 20 players is James Franklin, Peter Fulton, James Marshall and Michael Mason. The squad is completed by the winter contracted Grant Elliott.
My most pressing query is the omission of Franklin, who had a full tour with the Emerging Players in July and seemed, I was sure, an automatic recall.
I reckon too that Peter Fulton, especially given his recent ton for the Emerging Players, deserves another shot in the squad, although we have a several young and talented batsmen in our second XI growing hopeful for a spot in the BCs.
ODIs:
Starting at the top Jesse Ryder returns, likely to partner McCullum at top, with How to kick on in his successful no.3 position, allowing Taylor the comfort of a no. 4 role. From there I assume that Styris comes in at five ahead of Flynn at six, Oram seven and Vettori eight. Add a Mills and Southee to those and you're left only with the choice of Martin, who's back in the ODI frame, Patel or Gillespie.
Tests:
Redmond swaps with Styris to get another chance to 'cement a spot' and How looks the best long-term bet going as the other opener, leaving scant resources to flesh out the top order. Best results are likely to be achieved from Taylor at three giving Ryder and Flynn options at four or five. The Oram, McCullum, Vettori combination is the best lower-middle order in the game and again Mills and Southee* are most likely to follow. This time the choice of bunny is either O'Brien (swapped with Gillespie for the slightly longer games), Patel or Martin.
*I have Southee as an automatic choice as he's our greatest whitest hope, and should be playing all the cricket he can handle as he is developed into our long-term no.1 bowler.
I'm quite positive about Bangladeshi cricket. The last time we played the Bangles at the Basin I bought a match pass which allowed me to be there for all seven sessions. At home they'll have their moments of brilliance in the ODI's, which may make for interesting games. Although we'll fill our boots in the tests we'll have another look at our fringe batsmen.
Thankfully there is no requirement to grow the 20/plenty game in Bangladesh so roll on the first ODI on October 9! It'll make me happy.
I've been engaging in a new form of blogging since my last post, I'll call it anti-blogging, whereby MY SILENCE SPEAKS VOLUMES!
I think Yamis is anti-blogging too, or else he's in shock that the Warriors made the finals series.
I've been anti-blogging because I'm fuckin disgusted! With everything! I came back from holiday into BULLSHIT. Look, I not going to carp on, not why I'm here tonight all cut and hazy. I am here because out of the crescendo of DISGUSTING AWFUL NEWS came a reminder of why I bother at all. Good news came to me today. Something to care about that isn't going to really break my heart. A lighter tragedy than the human tragedy, but one in which the strengths and weaknesses of the human spirit are equally on show and at odds. Yes, today came the happy reminder that more cricket is coming! Ahh yes indeed, that's more like it!
So, today, Dion Nash named a squad of 15 (with two spots trading places for the later Tests) to travel to Bangladesh for three ODIs and two Tests.
Missing from the contracted 20 players is James Franklin, Peter Fulton, James Marshall and Michael Mason. The squad is completed by the winter contracted Grant Elliott.
My most pressing query is the omission of Franklin, who had a full tour with the Emerging Players in July and seemed, I was sure, an automatic recall.
I reckon too that Peter Fulton, especially given his recent ton for the Emerging Players, deserves another shot in the squad, although we have a several young and talented batsmen in our second XI growing hopeful for a spot in the BCs.
ODIs:
Starting at the top Jesse Ryder returns, likely to partner McCullum at top, with How to kick on in his successful no.3 position, allowing Taylor the comfort of a no. 4 role. From there I assume that Styris comes in at five ahead of Flynn at six, Oram seven and Vettori eight. Add a Mills and Southee to those and you're left only with the choice of Martin, who's back in the ODI frame, Patel or Gillespie.
Tests:
Redmond swaps with Styris to get another chance to 'cement a spot' and How looks the best long-term bet going as the other opener, leaving scant resources to flesh out the top order. Best results are likely to be achieved from Taylor at three giving Ryder and Flynn options at four or five. The Oram, McCullum, Vettori combination is the best lower-middle order in the game and again Mills and Southee* are most likely to follow. This time the choice of bunny is either O'Brien (swapped with Gillespie for the slightly longer games), Patel or Martin.
*I have Southee as an automatic choice as he's our greatest whitest hope, and should be playing all the cricket he can handle as he is developed into our long-term no.1 bowler.
I'm quite positive about Bangladeshi cricket. The last time we played the Bangles at the Basin I bought a match pass which allowed me to be there for all seven sessions. At home they'll have their moments of brilliance in the ODI's, which may make for interesting games. Although we'll fill our boots in the tests we'll have another look at our fringe batsmen.
Thankfully there is no requirement to grow the 20/plenty game in Bangladesh so roll on the first ODI on October 9! It'll make me happy.
Monday, July 28, 2008
New Zealand's Emerging players
NZs Emerging Players squad just won a quadrangular (not allowed to say four-way anymore) tournament in Australia. Being curious as to how our next layer of talent performed I hit the information super-highway in search of some stats. I didn't find any so I've calculated them myself and now present them to you, our loyal readership, for your idle once-over.
This tournament was significant for the return to international action of two much-missed Black Caps, Jesse Ryder and James Franklin. Ryder captained the side, opened the batting and was an extremely useful bowler. Franklin apparently had a successful return but I haven't focussed on the bowling here.
The averages (no strike rates available where I looked):
Ryder - 19.7 from his returns of 27, 4, 31, 20, 0 and 36
Watling - 20.2 from his 3, 35, 21, 19, 23, and 40*
Guptil - 40 from his 8, 26, 112, 65, 4, 24 and 41
Ingram - 28.2 from his 30*, 11, 29, 27, 17 and 27
Broom (the only incumbent) - 31.8 from a return of 0, 23, 7, 94, 5 and 62
Hay - 23.2 from his 3, 21, 44, 43 and 5
Corey Anderson, batting 7, averaged 43 (3 not outs) in his 18*, 73, 24*, 1, 52* o and 4
This tournament was significant for the return to international action of two much-missed Black Caps, Jesse Ryder and James Franklin. Ryder captained the side, opened the batting and was an extremely useful bowler. Franklin apparently had a successful return but I haven't focussed on the bowling here.
The averages (no strike rates available where I looked):
Ryder - 19.7 from his returns of 27, 4, 31, 20, 0 and 36
Watling - 20.2 from his 3, 35, 21, 19, 23, and 40*
Guptil - 40 from his 8, 26, 112, 65, 4, 24 and 41
Ingram - 28.2 from his 30*, 11, 29, 27, 17 and 27
Broom (the only incumbent) - 31.8 from a return of 0, 23, 7, 94, 5 and 62
Hay - 23.2 from his 3, 21, 44, 43 and 5
Corey Anderson, batting 7, averaged 43 (3 not outs) in his 18*, 73, 24*, 1, 52* o and 4
Labels: cricket
Monday, July 07, 2008
The Elliott run-out
Mark Richardson is a better cricket player than cricket thinker. He is way off the mark comparing Paul Collingwood's decision to appeal for a run-out of Grant Elliott to Brendon McCullum's run-out of Muralitharan. (Murali had left his crease again, after completing a run that had seen his partner Sangakarra make a century, while the ball was still in play.)
Grant Elliot had no opportunity to preserve his wicket because he was taken out of play by an opposition player.
Murali had every opportunity to preserve his wicket by simply remembering the rules of cricket.
There is a world of difference Rigor.
Grant Elliot had no opportunity to preserve his wicket because he was taken out of play by an opposition player.
Murali had every opportunity to preserve his wicket by simply remembering the rules of cricket.
There is a world of difference Rigor.
Labels: cricket, sportsmanship
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Disgraceful
That's the only word that adequately describes being ahead by 180 runs on the first innings, and still conspiring to lose by 6 wickets with 4 sessions remaining. And with "the world's best left-arm spinner" (TM) bowling on a crumbling 4th innings wicket, on which even Monty "I give it a twirl" Panesar had managed to take a devastating 6-for.
Sure, Umpire Taufel didn't do us any favours (e.g., refusing to give the LBW when Vettori trapped Lord Collingwood of Durham in front for 2 in the 4th innings ... to which Brian Waddle responded: "What was that missing? Off and leg?!") and nor did the injury to In Like Flynn, but we didn't do ourselves any either. With crap like this:
Yours, a very disappointed NZC fan.
p.s,. May I be the first to say "Sack the coach!" ... oh, hang on.
Sure, Umpire Taufel didn't do us any favours (e.g., refusing to give the LBW when Vettori trapped Lord Collingwood of Durham in front for 2 in the 4th innings ... to which Brian Waddle responded: "What was that missing? Off and leg?!") and nor did the injury to In Like Flynn, but we didn't do ourselves any either. With crap like this:
77.6 O'Brien to Bell, no run, has he just dropped the Test? slow ball, Bell is early on the shot, pops it straight back to the bowler, he seems to have it covered but drops a dolly, that's as sweet a lollypop as you will get, he's muffed itMuffed it indeed.
Yours, a very disappointed NZC fan.
p.s,. May I be the first to say "Sack the coach!" ... oh, hang on.
Labels: bracewell sucks shit, cricket
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Matthew Sinclair in love scandal with NZ Selectors
I swear to god, something must have gone on there. The guy hasn't made any bloody runs of note in over 5 years and yet year after year gets picked for "his big chance" and year after year fails, gets dropped, gets reselected, fucks our innings up again and gets dropped. As Martin Crowe angrily joked, if he gets selected for the England tour then he's making a comeback.
In the last 19 completed NZ innings our top 5 and innings totals are as follows:
119/168
113/198
173/311
191/470
115/177
216/393
260/357
165/188
117/136
83/118
90/172
75/130
156/286
113/206
103 (out of 119/5)
78/119
117/283
237/593
(121 for 3)
45/327
26/120
that's an average for our top five of 130. Ordinarily when you are 130 for 5 you might expect to be dismissed for around 230. Our innings totals have averaged at 250 which means our bottom 5 partnerships are netting only 10 runs less than our top 5.
Ideally you might expect a side to be about 250 for 5 and bowled out for 360 or thereabouts but we have been so utterly shit with the bat for so long now its unbelievable. We've told Astle, Styris and Fleming to fuck off and now we are left with a bunch of guys who can't bat to save themselves or anyone else.
The tour to England should be a horror show. A train slamming into an existing train wreck, followed by a logging truck, dump truck and then nuked from above.
And part of it all is Sinclair who has not made a test century since 2001, 21 tests ago. The best he's done in that time is 74. Last time I looked that means HE'S DONE FUCKEN NOTHING TO HELP NZ WIN A TEST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
His test scores from lowest to highest...
0
0
0
0
1
1
2
2
2
3
3
4
4
6
6
7
7
7
8
8
9
9
10
12
17
17
18
19
19*
20
21
23
23
23
24
24
27
29
29
34
35*
36
37
39
43*
44
47
50*
69
74
76
150
204*
214
That is so grim it's not funny. Especially when you consider the bottom 3 scores came in his first 12 tests and in the 20 since he's averaged 21.43 coming in in a position that you should have the best batting conditions.
In the last 19 completed NZ innings our top 5 and innings totals are as follows:
119/168
113/198
173/311
191/470
115/177
216/393
260/357
165/188
117/136
83/118
90/172
75/130
156/286
113/206
103 (out of 119/5)
78/119
117/283
237/593
(121 for 3)
45/327
26/120
that's an average for our top five of 130. Ordinarily when you are 130 for 5 you might expect to be dismissed for around 230. Our innings totals have averaged at 250 which means our bottom 5 partnerships are netting only 10 runs less than our top 5.
Ideally you might expect a side to be about 250 for 5 and bowled out for 360 or thereabouts but we have been so utterly shit with the bat for so long now its unbelievable. We've told Astle, Styris and Fleming to fuck off and now we are left with a bunch of guys who can't bat to save themselves or anyone else.
The tour to England should be a horror show. A train slamming into an existing train wreck, followed by a logging truck, dump truck and then nuked from above.
And part of it all is Sinclair who has not made a test century since 2001, 21 tests ago. The best he's done in that time is 74. Last time I looked that means HE'S DONE FUCKEN NOTHING TO HELP NZ WIN A TEST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
His test scores from lowest to highest...
0
0
0
0
1
1
2
2
2
3
3
4
4
6
6
7
7
7
8
8
9
9
10
12
17
17
18
19
19*
20
21
23
23
23
24
24
27
29
29
34
35*
36
37
39
43*
44
47
50*
69
74
76
150
204*
214
That is so grim it's not funny. Especially when you consider the bottom 3 scores came in his first 12 tests and in the 20 since he's averaged 21.43 coming in in a position that you should have the best batting conditions.
Labels: blackcaps, can't bat for shit, cricket, innings totals
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Christmas staple
Errg, I just heard the inevitable story on Morning Report: "NZ retailers worried about slow pre-Christmas sales." They trot out this shit every year and a lazy media laps it up. In 2-3 days we will hear: "NZ retailers relieved by last-minute spending spree." Y'know, just like we do every year.
Cricket correspondent Jonathon Millmow has another go this morning, but is rather self-referential in discussing the team's response to media criticism. Yeah, criticism that has come from Millmow himself (and rightly so).
The interesting thing is that Millmow reports, at considerable length, Vettori's defence of Comical Braces. What this actually means is that Braces is fucked if we lose today. A leading player (esp. a captain) coming to defence of the coach in this way (i.e., beyond: "he's good, we like him") is like the deputy leader of a political party swearing undying loyalty to the leader. Followed by a challenge at the start of the next week. When someone is actually in charge at the top, no one needs to offer long-winded defences.
Cricket correspondent Jonathon Millmow has another go this morning, but is rather self-referential in discussing the team's response to media criticism. Yeah, criticism that has come from Millmow himself (and rightly so).
The interesting thing is that Millmow reports, at considerable length, Vettori's defence of Comical Braces. What this actually means is that Braces is fucked if we lose today. A leading player (esp. a captain) coming to defence of the coach in this way (i.e., beyond: "he's good, we like him") is like the deputy leader of a political party swearing undying loyalty to the leader. Followed by a challenge at the start of the next week. When someone is actually in charge at the top, no one needs to offer long-winded defences.
Wednesday, December 05, 2007
Business as usual?
A cop makes a three point turn on a bend of a narrow provincial highway, thereby blocking both lanes, and two motorcyclists coming around the corner wear the damage: serious bloody injuries, plus two smashed Italian bikes. The idiot cop whose dangerous maneuver is responsible for the whole thing blames the motorcyclists for speeding (of course he would have taken the bend at 35 kph, anticipating that some idiot could be blocking both lanes with his large Australian sedan).
In other news:
1/ Outrageous Fortune was bloody good last night.
2/ I accidentally (I must stress this!) saw David Beckham at Wellington Airport, as he was departing for the Spice Girls concert in Vancouver.
On a livelier note, the pitch at Dunedin's "new" test venue, the University Oval, looks, um, lively: "34 wickets fell inside two days of a State Championship match" between Otago and Auckland.
In Auckland's second innings, there were 5 ducks, and only 3 guys made it past eight. Yes, eight.
Don't worry, NZ Cricket is sending its "top turf doctor". I can picture it now: "Out of my way, I'm a turf doctor!" WTF? Since NZ Cricket can't select its way out of a candy shop, I doubt it's on top of the turf thing.
Actually, I say leave the thing as it is and take our chances. I've often thought Dunedin would be the only place we might hope to dismiss a test team for less than 26, and thereby get this monkey off our backs.
Imagine the following:
Team from the subcontinent (in this case the weakest team, Bangladesh)
+ howling cold southerly (unlikely but not impossible in early January in Dunedin - December would be preferable)
+ cloud cover (highly likely)
+ green top (possible - something is up with the pitch)
+ NZ wins the toss and fields
= ????
If we had Bond steaming in with the southerly at his back (although the pitch seems to be aligned NW-SE, rather than strictly N-S, but you get the idea) they'd be in all sorts of trouble. But Bond is injured so it's business as usual.
You can zoom in a have a look at the pitch here.
View Larger Map
In other news:
1/ Outrageous Fortune was bloody good last night.
2/ I accidentally (I must stress this!) saw David Beckham at Wellington Airport, as he was departing for the Spice Girls concert in Vancouver.
On a livelier note, the pitch at Dunedin's "new" test venue, the University Oval, looks, um, lively: "34 wickets fell inside two days of a State Championship match" between Otago and Auckland.
In Auckland's second innings, there were 5 ducks, and only 3 guys made it past eight. Yes, eight.
Don't worry, NZ Cricket is sending its "top turf doctor". I can picture it now: "Out of my way, I'm a turf doctor!" WTF? Since NZ Cricket can't select its way out of a candy shop, I doubt it's on top of the turf thing.
Actually, I say leave the thing as it is and take our chances. I've often thought Dunedin would be the only place we might hope to dismiss a test team for less than 26, and thereby get this monkey off our backs.
Imagine the following:
Team from the subcontinent (in this case the weakest team, Bangladesh)
+ howling cold southerly (unlikely but not impossible in early January in Dunedin - December would be preferable)
+ cloud cover (highly likely)
+ green top (possible - something is up with the pitch)
+ NZ wins the toss and fields
= ????
If we had Bond steaming in with the southerly at his back (although the pitch seems to be aligned NW-SE, rather than strictly N-S, but you get the idea) they'd be in all sorts of trouble. But Bond is injured so it's business as usual.
You can zoom in a have a look at the pitch here.
View Larger Map
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Roading in NZ: all yak all the time
From north of Wellington comes this story. Transit regional manager Graham Taylor responds by noting that his agency is on top of the situation:
The same story notes that the bridge where the accident occurred is "50 years old, for God's sake." The bridge on the NW motorway that you cross over just after the Lincoln Rd exit (when heading NW) says "1962". It is two lanes wide in either direction. I note that there is a shitload of development occurring in and around Massey, plus infill housing, all of which means more GST, more rates, and .... more cars (breathtaking stuff I know). Net changes to the NW motorway? Nil.
How about the Upper Harbour Highway, you ask? Not everyone who lives in the North-West commutes to the city!
Well, that's a fucking joke too. Let's set out in an Easterly direction. First you're required to crawl along the wide (but only one-lane each way) Hobsonville Rd at 50kph. Then you hit the construction at the Greenhithe Bridge, complete with a roundabout (which, when travelling in the other direciton, you can't see when on account of it being down a hill, and round a corner). Then if you head left towards most of the North Shore, and SH 1 (i.e., not down to Takapuna) you hit a roundabout on to which traffic from Albany flows constantly, with the right of way, and everyone else has to yield. And then you finally get round, only to encounter ... more construction on Constellation Dr. One wonders why:
(a) the road planning morons don't think to start and finish one section of road (say, Constellation Dr) before moving on to fuck up another nearby area (say, Greenhithe Bridge).
(b) why Constellation Dr wasn't finished before the bus station/park-n-ride opened.
Finally, let's hope big Jake Oram can go three for three tonight and earn a spot as Legend as Late. NZ to bat first and score over 300!!
"People are calling for more and more wire ropes - this is leading-edge stuff installing wire-rope barriers in the middle of two-lane road with these volumes of traffic (22,000 vehicles a day), but we are looking at extending the barrier from Centennial Highway to McKays crossing."Leading-edge stuff indeed. Fucking moron - it's putting a wire rope down the middle of a highway to reduce head-on crashes (y'know, the ones that often claim peoples' lives). We're not talking the Cistene Chapel here.
The same story notes that the bridge where the accident occurred is "50 years old, for God's sake." The bridge on the NW motorway that you cross over just after the Lincoln Rd exit (when heading NW) says "1962". It is two lanes wide in either direction. I note that there is a shitload of development occurring in and around Massey, plus infill housing, all of which means more GST, more rates, and .... more cars (breathtaking stuff I know). Net changes to the NW motorway? Nil.
How about the Upper Harbour Highway, you ask? Not everyone who lives in the North-West commutes to the city!
Well, that's a fucking joke too. Let's set out in an Easterly direction. First you're required to crawl along the wide (but only one-lane each way) Hobsonville Rd at 50kph. Then you hit the construction at the Greenhithe Bridge, complete with a roundabout (which, when travelling in the other direciton, you can't see when on account of it being down a hill, and round a corner). Then if you head left towards most of the North Shore, and SH 1 (i.e., not down to Takapuna) you hit a roundabout on to which traffic from Albany flows constantly, with the right of way, and everyone else has to yield. And then you finally get round, only to encounter ... more construction on Constellation Dr. One wonders why:
(a) the road planning morons don't think to start and finish one section of road (say, Constellation Dr) before moving on to fuck up another nearby area (say, Greenhithe Bridge).
(b) why Constellation Dr wasn't finished before the bus station/park-n-ride opened.
Finally, let's hope big Jake Oram can go three for three tonight and earn a spot as Legend as Late. NZ to bat first and score over 300!!
Labels: auckland, cricket, motorways
Friday, January 19, 2007
Three Sunny Afternoons Don't a Summer Make
Good god not much of a summer in Auckland so far. Mostly variations on: cloudy-n-cool, cloudy-n-humid, cloudy-n-cool-n-windy. Delightful. Where are the easy news stories on how sunscreen sales are way, way down and retailers are hurting? Icecream sales must have plumetted too. I did buy one the other night, though, on account of how my bus never showed up after work and I was over an hour late getting home. I needed a pick-me-up after that.
So far this year (and it's only Jan 22) my bus fare has gone up 9%, and we've received a letter from Mercury Energy saying our bill is going up by about 4% from mid-February. Ahh, roll on a good rates increase, and then we're truly fucked. I guess petrol has come down by 2% or so. I can't help but notice my pay hasn't increased at all yet.
Have had all sorts of trouble with Blogger lately, in terms of losing decent posts before they even see the light of day. And I have lacked the wherewithall to cut and paste my text to a safe location before hitting "publish" (but not anymore). For a while I couldn't publish using Firefox, and on Explorer I could only access some stripped-down text version with a message warning "could not connect to Blogger.com".
Anyway, onwards and upwards:
1. That Governator ain't too bad, eh? In fact, he talks a fair amount of sense. Universal health insurance for example. Withdrawal from Iraq for example.
2. John Bracewell is crap and I have proof. Namely, he admits he doesn't know what's wrong with the batting. Well, John, how about the fact that your batsmen have major technical faults, including an inability to move their feet (Astle), a tendency to waft away uselessly outside off stump (Fleming), a fondness for swotting away in front of their legs (H Marshall) and so on. How about making them practice until they exhibit some ability to fix these issues? Radical, I know. Even McCullum and Vettori can barely hold a bat at the moment. Maybe it's time for a radical shakeup?
They should start by dropping Marshall. In his last 15 innings he's scored one 50 (exactly 50) and averaged 16.50.
Bring in a new opener: Vincent or Cumming.
Maybe even bring in Sinclair to keep wickets and bat 3, if McCullum can't organize an innings of more than 20.
Play Patel and Vettori together. If you can really, really only afford one spinner, consider playing Patel only.
So far this year (and it's only Jan 22) my bus fare has gone up 9%, and we've received a letter from Mercury Energy saying our bill is going up by about 4% from mid-February. Ahh, roll on a good rates increase, and then we're truly fucked. I guess petrol has come down by 2% or so. I can't help but notice my pay hasn't increased at all yet.
Have had all sorts of trouble with Blogger lately, in terms of losing decent posts before they even see the light of day. And I have lacked the wherewithall to cut and paste my text to a safe location before hitting "publish" (but not anymore). For a while I couldn't publish using Firefox, and on Explorer I could only access some stripped-down text version with a message warning "could not connect to Blogger.com".
Anyway, onwards and upwards:
1. That Governator ain't too bad, eh? In fact, he talks a fair amount of sense. Universal health insurance for example. Withdrawal from Iraq for example.
2. John Bracewell is crap and I have proof. Namely, he admits he doesn't know what's wrong with the batting. Well, John, how about the fact that your batsmen have major technical faults, including an inability to move their feet (Astle), a tendency to waft away uselessly outside off stump (Fleming), a fondness for swotting away in front of their legs (H Marshall) and so on. How about making them practice until they exhibit some ability to fix these issues? Radical, I know. Even McCullum and Vettori can barely hold a bat at the moment. Maybe it's time for a radical shakeup?
They should start by dropping Marshall. In his last 15 innings he's scored one 50 (exactly 50) and averaged 16.50.
Bring in a new opener: Vincent or Cumming.
Maybe even bring in Sinclair to keep wickets and bat 3, if McCullum can't organize an innings of more than 20.
Play Patel and Vettori together. If you can really, really only afford one spinner, consider playing Patel only.
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
The New Template is the Old Template
Yep, we're back to the tried-and-trusted 2004 vintage template, by popular request of blog visitors who liked the features made possible by the three column format, specifically things like "tosser of our times" and "pictures of pretty girls". I still plan to update it somehow, and at some time in the unspecified future.
Wouldn't mid having a Mohammad Yousuf (2006 test avg 99.33) or even a Ricky Ponting (2006 test avg 60.78) in the Black Caps at the moment. I don't care to mention KP Pietersen (2006 test avg 65.28) just because the Poms are so, well, goddam awful really. For the record, SP Fleming scored the most runs for NZ in test cricket in '06 (570) and had the best average (47.50). Astle, Fulton, McCullum, Oram & Cumming etc. all averaged in the 20s. Styris and Vettori were in the 30s. A certain H. Marshall averaged 13.80.
Meanwhile, looks like there could be some fun at the Australian Open tennis today. As one local Serb told the SMH:
That quote certainly caught my attention, but so did these in the NZH about the senseless increases in public transport prices (which weren't low to start with!!). There will always be an excuse for hiking the fares it seems - even when fuel prices are falling.
Wouldn't mid having a Mohammad Yousuf (2006 test avg 99.33) or even a Ricky Ponting (2006 test avg 60.78) in the Black Caps at the moment. I don't care to mention KP Pietersen (2006 test avg 65.28) just because the Poms are so, well, goddam awful really. For the record, SP Fleming scored the most runs for NZ in test cricket in '06 (570) and had the best average (47.50). Astle, Fulton, McCullum, Oram & Cumming etc. all averaged in the 20s. Styris and Vettori were in the 30s. A certain H. Marshall averaged 13.80.
Meanwhile, looks like there could be some fun at the Australian Open tennis today. As one local Serb told the SMH:
"We hate those Croat c----, we want to smash their heads in after the game," he said. "We knew they were coming, tomorrow there will be more. There'll be 200 Croats, but that doesn't matter, we'll bring shanks and stab every one of them."Quiet please. Game on!
That quote certainly caught my attention, but so did these in the NZH about the senseless increases in public transport prices (which weren't low to start with!!). There will always be an excuse for hiking the fares it seems - even when fuel prices are falling.
Well said citizenry of greater Auckland. ARTA are in danger of pricing people out of public transport, and back into their cars.Renee Hodder, Massey:
If it goes up any higher it's not going to be worth it, really. It's getting pretty expensive. It was $120 a month for me; now it's closer to $140.Paul Ryan, Newmarket:
It might get to the point where it's easier to bring my car in every day. It costs me $3.60 a day for the train and I probably wouldn't use that in gas. Plus I have free parking at work.Deepal Singh, Blockhouse Bay:
I think it's too much really. Six months ago it increased and now it has increased again so it's become quite expensive. If it gets any more expensive I might start bringing my car in.
Labels: blogging, cricket, driving, tennis
Tuesday, January 09, 2007
Nice weather for ... err, South Islanders?
Fuck. The last six months of weather have been absolute crap. First the coldest June in about 40 years (probably 140 if you ask me). I distinctly recall one afternoon - Friday 23rd - when it felt remarkably close to snow in downtown Auckland. The fun continued through a chilly July, August and September (barring a very short window of great weather at the end of the latter) before the wind picked up for, oh, 3 months. Three freakin' months of relentless, cold (sometimes biting) southwesterlies. Delightful.
And then "summer". Cool. Cloudy. Windy. I've counted precisely three days that could truly be counted as summery thus far. And now today - raining and muggy. Lest anyone think I'm complaining, has anyone been bitten by a mosquito in Auckland thus far this summer? No, didn't think so. I rest my case.
Now, another Black Caps game today after which I hope to find some time to post some stats on recent performances of our batsmen in particular. It will be interesting to see if Craig McMillan can capitalize on a rather steadfast outing last time, or will capitulate for his typical 2, 5 or 11 runs.
And I have vowed to totally revamp our template here at BIR, which has remained basically unchanged for over 2 years.
So lots still to do, as well as full-time paid employment. It sure has been quiet around here with dc_red and bennyasena too busy working, yamis too busy on international vacation, and bobert missing presumed drunk in a central american jungle.
And then "summer". Cool. Cloudy. Windy. I've counted precisely three days that could truly be counted as summery thus far. And now today - raining and muggy. Lest anyone think I'm complaining, has anyone been bitten by a mosquito in Auckland thus far this summer? No, didn't think so. I rest my case.
Now, another Black Caps game today after which I hope to find some time to post some stats on recent performances of our batsmen in particular. It will be interesting to see if Craig McMillan can capitalize on a rather steadfast outing last time, or will capitulate for his typical 2, 5 or 11 runs.
And I have vowed to totally revamp our template here at BIR, which has remained basically unchanged for over 2 years.
So lots still to do, as well as full-time paid employment. It sure has been quiet around here with dc_red and bennyasena too busy working, yamis too busy on international vacation, and bobert missing presumed drunk in a central american jungle.
Labels: auckland, cricket, weather
Sunday, December 31, 2006
Competition
Good to see that a bit of competition in the petrol market is causing a few real options when it comes to pumping gas. Since Pac n Save on Lincoln Rd started its own petrol station in its carpark with 6 cents off a litre if you spend over 75 dollars there have been other stations trying to keep up. Mobil had had deals with Woolworths in the past where if you spend a certain amount you got 4 cents a litre off. But it wasn't worth it because you will end up spending about 10-20% extra there than Pac n Save making the savings more like a loss. Now though Mobil is giving away 2 dollar off vouchers if you spend over 20 bucks. They have even gone the step further of making the discounts instant.
What does make me think though is that if they can basically afford these blanket 'loyalty' type discounts then why can't they simply put their prices down by 3, 4, 5 or 6 cents? It makes me a worry a bit that from now petrol stations will have their prices anything from 2-10 cents more expensive than they would otherwise be but then play around with special promotions or offers to pull in the punters and give the illusion that we are getting good deals when in fact they are making more than ever.
FUCK!
But then there are whispers that we will be taxed for the number of turns our wheels make on the road rather than litres of petrol we pump so the thinking might be a little different there. That makes more sense in some ways but it is more likely to encourage people into gas guzzling monsters isn't it? Since they will be taxed a pittance on the 2 kilometre trip to pick the kids up from primary school in the burbs rather than the gross amount of CO2 they are pumping into the atmosphere from their SUV. A lot more thought needs to go into that idea to make sure we aren't shooting ourselves in the foot with a shotgun.
While I'm on the roads, I just drove down the Northern Motorway and across the Harbour Bridge hoping to get funnelled through the newly opened sections of spaghetti junction onto the north western. I follow the signs and get in the lane marked "Waitakere", but low and behold it spits me off at Victoria Park so I have to work my way back on to the motorway. Nice one fuckers. Whats even dumber is that at the Victoria Park off ramp there are more of those large green overhead signs saying the lanes for "Cook St", and.... "Helensville", but any mention of Waitakere has disappeared. Why in fucks name do they insist on putting signs for Helensville on our motorways around the central city??? People are travelling at 100 kms an hour and don't have time to work out if a mysterious destination miles away from where they are actually heading is the correct lane for them to be in. What percentage of the traffic passing through there is actually heading to, or through Helensville?! What percentage of the population have ever been to Helensville? (trust me, I teach high school students who haven't even driven over the harbour bridge let alone been outside of Auckland). What's wrong with putting simple signs up like "West" or "West Auckland", or "Waitakere City", or "Henderson", or "North Western motorway", "the Hood", "the Ghetto", "Bogansville", "Holden Central", "Eco City", "Pot smoking munta village" etc etc. But no, we get told (too late) which lane to get in to get to a small town of a thousand or so people about 50 kms north west of Auckland.
Speaking of competition, or rather, getting back to it since I post humously added the above paragraphs, what the hell is up with the NZ cricket team? They are fucking around with selections but are picking players who are out of form (H Marshall) and who were never in any form (J Marshall who now averages 12.5 from 13 innings for NZ cricket in both forms of the game). Andre Adams also seems a bit of a flat track bully. He regularly cleans out teams domestically but when it comes to internationals he hasn't done nearly so well.
I think that if they are going to piss around with the side they should go the whole hog like the ABs have done and pick several new players for a couple of games each and see who looks like they are composed at that level. Some players can step up while others wilt. You don't know though until you see them there. And lets be honest, who the hell will remember the result of this series in a years time? We have the series v Aussie and England coming up, then a series v Aussie in NZ, then off to the WC later in the year. So all this will be a distant memory. Combine that with the fact that Sri Lanka will probably dick us anyway because we pick a procession of medium/fast bowlers for tracks which suit slow bowlers and only play one spinner when we need at least two (get Patel in there you fucking dickwads). Vettori is consistently our most economical bowler both home and away. Sure he is worldclass but if he can bowl cheaper than the rest of the guys then it points to the possiblility (don't you think?) that slow bowlers might actually do well on our pitches. Jayasuriya and Murali were (along with Vettori) the cheapest bowlers at Napier. After the first innings in Queenstown Vettori has once again been the cheapest of our bowlers.
On a happy note, the Knights won 3-1. That now puts their record to 4 wins, 5 draws and 30 losses over two seasons. That makes the Breakers look pretty good. Although they have now plummeted to 7 wins and 14 losses for the season, sitting in second to last spot and their playoff hopes are once again halfway down the shitter. Considering they have Carlos Powell, arguably the best player in the league that is a woeful performance from the rest of the team this season. They need a decent point guard who can hit three pointers. Henare has just never turned up good numbers. He is over rated and is mediocre at absolute best. If they had one they could light up the league. Instead they are darkening these fair Pohutakawa illuminated shores. That was beautiful. I'm a poet and I didn't knowit.
Anyways, happy new year and all that jive.
What does make me think though is that if they can basically afford these blanket 'loyalty' type discounts then why can't they simply put their prices down by 3, 4, 5 or 6 cents? It makes me a worry a bit that from now petrol stations will have their prices anything from 2-10 cents more expensive than they would otherwise be but then play around with special promotions or offers to pull in the punters and give the illusion that we are getting good deals when in fact they are making more than ever.
FUCK!
But then there are whispers that we will be taxed for the number of turns our wheels make on the road rather than litres of petrol we pump so the thinking might be a little different there. That makes more sense in some ways but it is more likely to encourage people into gas guzzling monsters isn't it? Since they will be taxed a pittance on the 2 kilometre trip to pick the kids up from primary school in the burbs rather than the gross amount of CO2 they are pumping into the atmosphere from their SUV. A lot more thought needs to go into that idea to make sure we aren't shooting ourselves in the foot with a shotgun.
While I'm on the roads, I just drove down the Northern Motorway and across the Harbour Bridge hoping to get funnelled through the newly opened sections of spaghetti junction onto the north western. I follow the signs and get in the lane marked "Waitakere", but low and behold it spits me off at Victoria Park so I have to work my way back on to the motorway. Nice one fuckers. Whats even dumber is that at the Victoria Park off ramp there are more of those large green overhead signs saying the lanes for "Cook St", and.... "Helensville", but any mention of Waitakere has disappeared. Why in fucks name do they insist on putting signs for Helensville on our motorways around the central city??? People are travelling at 100 kms an hour and don't have time to work out if a mysterious destination miles away from where they are actually heading is the correct lane for them to be in. What percentage of the traffic passing through there is actually heading to, or through Helensville?! What percentage of the population have ever been to Helensville? (trust me, I teach high school students who haven't even driven over the harbour bridge let alone been outside of Auckland). What's wrong with putting simple signs up like "West" or "West Auckland", or "Waitakere City", or "Henderson", or "North Western motorway", "the Hood", "the Ghetto", "Bogansville", "Holden Central", "Eco City", "Pot smoking munta village" etc etc. But no, we get told (too late) which lane to get in to get to a small town of a thousand or so people about 50 kms north west of Auckland.
Speaking of competition, or rather, getting back to it since I post humously added the above paragraphs, what the hell is up with the NZ cricket team? They are fucking around with selections but are picking players who are out of form (H Marshall) and who were never in any form (J Marshall who now averages 12.5 from 13 innings for NZ cricket in both forms of the game). Andre Adams also seems a bit of a flat track bully. He regularly cleans out teams domestically but when it comes to internationals he hasn't done nearly so well.
I think that if they are going to piss around with the side they should go the whole hog like the ABs have done and pick several new players for a couple of games each and see who looks like they are composed at that level. Some players can step up while others wilt. You don't know though until you see them there. And lets be honest, who the hell will remember the result of this series in a years time? We have the series v Aussie and England coming up, then a series v Aussie in NZ, then off to the WC later in the year. So all this will be a distant memory. Combine that with the fact that Sri Lanka will probably dick us anyway because we pick a procession of medium/fast bowlers for tracks which suit slow bowlers and only play one spinner when we need at least two (get Patel in there you fucking dickwads). Vettori is consistently our most economical bowler both home and away. Sure he is worldclass but if he can bowl cheaper than the rest of the guys then it points to the possiblility (don't you think?) that slow bowlers might actually do well on our pitches. Jayasuriya and Murali were (along with Vettori) the cheapest bowlers at Napier. After the first innings in Queenstown Vettori has once again been the cheapest of our bowlers.
On a happy note, the Knights won 3-1. That now puts their record to 4 wins, 5 draws and 30 losses over two seasons. That makes the Breakers look pretty good. Although they have now plummeted to 7 wins and 14 losses for the season, sitting in second to last spot and their playoff hopes are once again halfway down the shitter. Considering they have Carlos Powell, arguably the best player in the league that is a woeful performance from the rest of the team this season. They need a decent point guard who can hit three pointers. Henare has just never turned up good numbers. He is over rated and is mediocre at absolute best. If they had one they could light up the league. Instead they are darkening these fair Pohutakawa illuminated shores. That was beautiful. I'm a poet and I didn't knowit.
Anyways, happy new year and all that jive.
Labels: breakers, cricket, driving, knights, motorways, petrol
