The Lineup
B.I.R. Column Of Fame
Man of Steel... Wood... and Mud: Bear Grylls
Rock Legend: Tom Morello

League Gods: The Emperor and Alfie

Str-8 Shoota: Malcolm X

Str-8 Shoota: Zack de la Rocha

Super Bad mofo's

Comrade Hillary

Saturday, February 28, 2009

They can't cycle under water, John 

A bunch of rich-looking white guys got together to think about how to save yo' jobs. They produced three ideas: 1/ Cutting your working hours, and your pay, by 10%; 2/ The government borrowing money (from whom, I wonder) to give to business (quelle surprise); and 3/ A length-of-the-country cycleway.

The biggest problem here: how exactly will the hundreds-of-thousands of cash-rich cycle-mad tourists cross Auckland Harbour? 'Cos they sure can't go across the bridge.

Labels: , ,

You Muthafuckas!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Looking at our website viewer stats and it seems that we are on track to receive our lowest unique viewer numbers since 2005. In fact it won't even be close. The heydays are over where we used to average 65 unique vistors a day. We are now averaging 36 a day.

I'm telling my mum you sad mo fuckers!!!!

Seriously, you know what this comes down to? Me getting a fulltime job. What a disgrace they are. Dial up Work and Income.


M.I.A. PAPER PLANES official video 

Something for the ladies (actually women have no taste in music so maybe for the guys instead).

Monday, February 23, 2009

Morpheus is back from the future to save us all 

I caught CSI for the first time in ages the other night, and bugger me if Morpheus didn't show up to solve the case. I'd heard William Petersen, who plays Gil Grisham (one of my favourite characters on the show), was leaving, but had no idea his replacement would be an actor as cool and engaging as Lawrence "Larry" Fishburne. Petersen is only 56, so quite why he decided to bow out so young is curious; Fishburne is only 47 but is made to appear much older in the show (perhaps through addition of more grey to his hair?) He's certainly a bit bigger than he was in Apocalypse Now. ;-)

In other news, some Cantabrians were "terrorised all weekend" - not by al-Qaeda, but by, um, traffic. Apparently boy racers going no where fast are now "the acceptable face of 'terror'". Methinks the editor at the Christchurch Press needs to exercise a little control over such sensationalist shit. And perhaps buy his 'journalists' a fucking thesaurus or two.

National is following through on its election promise to play favourites with certain University graduates by paying down a bit of their student loan if they stay in the country. It's a shame the scheme doesn't apply to journalists, the country could sure use some right now.

Tough times mean Bill English is signalling severe restraint (and possibly fair enough) ... in every area except tax cuts which only benefit those above the average wage, or thereabouts. Maybe National could disinter such nasty 90s legends as Simon Upton and Max Bradford to slash a few budgets, hike a few fees, and ensure National returns to form.

And there was a very sad death on the otherwise unexceptional Candia Rd. I've always enjoyed driving it, but apparently it's a known blackspot.

Labels: , , , , , ,

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Damn your eyes 

I don't get it.

At bloggingitreal we provide indepth coverage of domestic and international politics, sport, media, law and order, climate change and more - sharing our unique perspectives on the issues of the day.

Yet unless Bobert pisses off anonymous Cubans down Miami-ways with his hard-hittin' truths on the revolution, there's usually sweet fuck all in terms of a public response via our comments thread.

And that's fine, we're not in it for the fame, we prefer to roll underground, for as long as our posts of the day are on the lips of the learned man and woman in New Zealand, on the forefront of the minds' of decision makers, and more importantly with the people on da street we'll continue blogging.

But could someone out there, anyone, explain to me how a post like this gets 57 responses:

In that last blog I talked about cheerfully sending a text that now makes me cringe. And it will make me cringe every time I think about it for a while.
So I am going to have to try to not think about it.We all have these moments. We all have moments that when we think of them make us just writhe with embarrassment ....

Stay with me here, it gets worse:

I was about 7 and I really liked a boy in my class called Murray Hovard. He was the best looking boy in the class (I was very deep when I was 7) and he was really popular.
Anyway, one day (this is at Devonport Primary School) during little play, it had been raining and I was running, and I ran past Murray Hovard and wouldn’t you know it! Right in front of him I hit a slime patch on the asphalt and fell over!!! Now this is really REALLY uncool when you are 7....I was mortified, and as I went down and hit the ground I went into damage control (Lord knows what possessed me to do this, honestly) and I turned the fall into a forward roll.
Lovely Murray must have thought he was experiencing a sugar rush - who the hell would just do a forward roll in the rain, on wet ground, all by themselves, out of the blue?

Honetsly, I don't know who would Bridget. But neither do I know how an organization can possibly justify paying someone money to write this shit.

But there's more:

I picked myself up, brushed myself down and sauntered off, head held high, CRINGING inside.
You're not the only one.

Another one was, as an adult, being all fabulously frocked up ‘n cool’n groovy and woteva and going into a certain ice cream parlour and wanting a chocolate ripple ice cream. The ice cream shop was full, and I stood out because of how I was dressed, which made it all the more painful when I couldn’t say the word “RIPPLE”. I have had a stutter all my life. It comes and goes, is worse and better at diffferent times, but it is always there, lurking, waiting to booby trap me and make me look like a fool. So I tried to say “ripple’ but all that would come out was ‘rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr’ !
And the young girl behind the counter said, loudly, and dryly: “Ripple?”
I just wanted the ground to swallow me I felt sooooooooo stupid!
Would someone please just shoot me in the face.


Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Chuck another civil liberty on the barbie mate 

I must admit my heart skipped a beat when I saw the new Criminal Investigations (Bodily Samples) Amendment Bill National is passing through Parliament at the moment - whereby any New Zealander who police intend to charge with a crime can have their DNA taken by force.

My initial fear was that the new tool in the State's arsenal might be detrimental to civil liberties in New Zealand and the system open to abuse by the Police i.e. police see kid with attitude, police say kid has broken the law by...insert bogus reason....police take kid to police station and forcibly take DNA and run it through the system...police decide not to press charges afterall....police have a good laugh about harrassing kid with attitude after shift.

I immediately recalled Norightturn's recent commentry on the country's "toxic police culture" following the decision they made not to prosecute a police recruit who was going around assaulting people:
Unfortunately the police's response shows that they have learned nothing from the Clint Rickards saga. Rickards wasn't just a bad person: he was a product of the toxic police culture that had recruited, trained, socialised and promoted him - a culture in which police protected their own and actively conspired to cover up each other's crimes. That culture is clearly still alive and well, and as long as it is, we will see people like Rickards and his accomplices again and again, and the confidence the public have in the police will continue to decline.
But then, to my great relief, I read further into National's press release and discovered the potential for abuse is virtually non-existant - as Justice Minister Simon Power has seen to it that:

the police will develop guidelines to avoid any arbitrary or unreasonable application of this power...."It must be remembered that this tool can do just as much for those who are innocent as those who are found guilty of a crime.”
Oh well, as long as the Police will be overseeing the Police, then I guess everything is just swell.

Labels: , , ,

Sunday, February 08, 2009

100 degrees in my underpants 

According to the metservice it is currently 25 degrees where they measure it at Auckland Airport at 5:54pm.

I can confirm however that it is 32 degrees in our house. Could be a sweaty night. I wonder if the Blackcaps will let me go to sleep early. Judging by Aussie being on 135/1 off 23.3 overs (and 300+ firmly on the cards) at the SCG (not reknowned for its easiness under lights) I think they will oblige.


Saturday, February 07, 2009

Northern Toll Road - We fucking toll you so. 

Couldn't organise a pissup in a brewery.

Another Wellington resident, Jean Guthrie, said: "I just heard about it on the radio on the way up from Wellington. I was coming in here for a coffee anyway. It would be just easier if you could just drive through and then put the money in a funnel-like tin."

Raewyn Lum of Auckland said she knew a toll had to be paid but found alternatives to the cash kiosk "too hard". She added: "I don't know why we can't just have coin drops."

Anaru Te Maro of Auckland said he thought the road would have toll booths like the Auckland Harbour Bridge once had.

He wondered why people had only three days to pay, because other businesses gave clients 30 days.
What a steaming pile of shit this whole process is proving to be. All the highway has done is move the traffic jam further up the road but since fuck all cars will be getting off to go to Orewa and what ones there are will be replaced by more heading north with population growth and more people excited by the prospect of not having to drive through a town filled by wankers and old people. So essentially nothing has happened.

All they would need is a lane that pulls off to the side, motorists slow down drop off 2 bucks and carry on their merry way. All vehicles that use the road weekly can sort all the automatic payment crap out and drive straight on past.

This is what a real tollgate looks like in Korea.
We don't fuck around in these. Car barely stops, money flies everywhere and the foot goes back on the gas. A vehicle gets processed about every 5-10 seconds.

Labels: , ,

Friday, February 06, 2009

Police lie about their identity 

Why the hell is this not the biggest news in the country today? No, not the PMs defiance after his so called security let him down, but the later revelation that undercover police taking photos on the marae claimed to be media or tourists when challenged by marae management!

Is it legal for police to deny they are police when on duty?

I don't know what's worse, that the police officers (or more likely their task-masters) felt the need to do their work in secret and lie about their identity, or the complete fucking ineptitude of said agents of state security in drawing attention to their activities and not being able to avoid blowing their cover. The quality of covert operations in this country really is shit, innit? God those animal rights activists who are forever being stalked by the SIS must be stoned out of their trees to not pick the burly mustachioed new guy as a plant. LMAO!

Speaking of being stoned, I'm off to celebrate both New Zealand's and Bob Marley's birthday at One Love.

Go Black.

Much-Needed Dating Advice 

Finally, someone tells me what I've been doing wrong all of these years:

Diplomatic Protection Squad: Useless 

History teaches us that Waitangi is the place at which New Zealand Prime Ministers (and Leaders of the Opposition, for that matter) are most likely to be assaulted. It has a singular, and uniquely crap, quality in this regard. Pretty much everyone who's ever taken the slightest interest in the event knows this. You'd think the Prime Minister's security detail would too.

Instead, the PM has been out of his car for what, 45 seconds, when he is assaulted by not one, but two, belligerent Maori males. In the end no great harm was done, and the two schmucks have been arrested and await trial, but did anyone else notice how slow the PM's security was to react?

As it was, the PM ended up in a rather painful-looking tug-o-war with the second attacker pulling him one way by the neck/shoulder, and old rent-a-quote Harawira pulling him the other way by the arm. This lasted for a good couple of seconds before the DPS managed to move in (sluggishly).

Labels: , , , , ,

Thursday, February 05, 2009

Where angels fear to tred 

Goff ready to venture at Waitangi where Clark feared to tread farts the Herald.

Actually, Clark attended Waitangi quite a few times, was treated atrociously, and rightly decided to stop going. Brash got mud in the face, and already Key has been shoved.

The Herald continues
Mr Goff will also attend the dawn service this year - another break from the practice of Helen Clark, who habitually avoided early starts, including Anzac Day and Waitangi Day dawn services

Which makes Helen Clark appear rather work-shy, when she was often offering articulate comment on radio and TV at or before 7am.

Labels: , ,

Rent a controversy 

If there was a mad man who continually shreaked, hollered and laughed regardless of the season, time, or weather would it be accurate to report in the country's largest newspaper that, following a light shower, "Rain this morning sparked mad man's merriment?"


Then did the sentencing of Nia Glassie's killers yesterday really spark tougher sentencing calls?
...Sensible Sentencing Trust spokesman Garth McVicar today said the sentences were not enough and an overhaul of the laws on violence against children were needed.

"This was not a one-off temper-induced killing, this was a prolonged systematic attack on a totally defenceless child. A more horrific murder would be hard to imagine."

Or is our one trick pony again getting fresh national media exposure for his incredible likeness to Jason Gunn?

Labels: , ,

Tuesday, February 03, 2009

Positive press 

Consider the following stories from today's papers, and then consider how they would be reported if we still had a Labour-led government. I'll colour code the alternate headlines for the purpose of emphasis.

Today's story 1:

Boy-racer law ready in six months
The Government is looking at law changes to create a new boy racer-related offence and will give police powers to take cars off repeat offenders. ...

Mr Key said it would take four to six weeks to draft legislation, which could pass within six months.

"We are not going to put up with what we saw in Christchurch."

Alternate headline in event of Labour-led government:

Relief for besieged communities half a year away

Today's story 2:

PM runs bank 'health check'

The prime minister has taken the extraordinary step of seeking personal assurances from the big four Australian-owned banks that they are healthy and will be fair to consumers.

John Key revealed yesterday that he met the head of ANZ-National on Thursday in the Beehive and visited Westpac, ASB and BNZ in Auckland on Friday.

Alternate headline in event of Labour-led government:

Government intervenes, but powerless to act in event of bank failure

Today's story 3:

Key rules out big rise in minimum wage

A hefty rise in the minimum wage is being ruled out as the recession bites.

Prime Minister John Key confirmed yesterday that the Government would consider a Labour Department paper next week, canvassing options including linking future rises to inflation. But with businesses struggling through a severe downturn, the Government is under pressure to keep a lid on wage costs.

Alternate headline in event of Labour-led government:

Inflation-indexed increase will send thousands to dole queue

Today's story 4:

Cabinet crew to join boss on return to Te Tii

Former prime minister Helen Clark steered clear of Te Tii after her entourage was jostled by protesters in 2004, and preferred to attend the official Waitangi commemorations.

Mr Key is returning to Te Tii after going there as Opposition leader last year. He said yesterday that it had always been his intention to return as prime minister.

Alternate headline in event of Labour-led government:

Labour plucks up courage in face of more Maori threats

Labels: , , ,

Tell me, where do the children play? 

I wasn't in Auckland for this year's Big Day Out but by all accounts it sounded like a great success.

Despite 40,000 fans attending there were very few problems:
Condom balloons floated through the air, the smell of marijuana wafted here and there, and around the stadium a man walked body-painted as a giraffe.
This year's Big Day Out festival at Mount Smart Stadium - with major international acts Neil Young, The Prodigy and Arctic Monkeys among nearly 90 gigs - was a hit with nearly 40,000 people, aged from under 10 to over 60.
The audience was relatively well-behaved, despite three arrests and three people taken to hospital, spokesman Paul McKessar said.
The arrests were for drug possession, disorderly behaviour and being unlawfully on the premises, while medical conditions rather than injuries caused the hospital visits, Mr McKessar said.

The statistics suggest the NZ Police adopted a non-confontational approach and nearly everyone had a smashing and safe time as a result.

In complete contrast to the New Zealand approach, the boys in blue in Australia have been aggressively seeking out recreational drug users at the BDO series and hundreds of people have been arrested as a result.

The Aussie coppers have been targetting people entering the festival as it winds throughout the country (bar Melbourne) with drug sniffer dogs.

Over 80 were arrested at Sydney's BDO and 60 more in Perth.

While this practice may boost police arrest statistics and scare some people off taking drugs with them to the concert, it's also very dangerous for public health.

It doesn't take a brain surgeon to figure out what the thousands of kids with with recreational drugs on them going to the biggest party of the year are going to do when they see the sniffer dogs and Police search teams does it?

They're going to swallow all their drugs in one go.

And this aggressive policy of targetting festival goers claimed it's first life in the weekend:
A 17-year-old girl admitted to hospital after a suspected drug overdose at yesterday's Big Day Out concert in Perth has died overnight. A friend of the family told 6PR Radio that the girl took three ecstasy tablets before entering the festival's gates after she spotted police searching people for drugs.
The witness said the girl then went on a ride with friends when she began to shake and her lips turned blue.
Within moments she collapsed and was taken to hospital, where she died early this morning.
Police confirmed the girl had taken a number of pills before entering the event, which was held in 36-degree heat and humidity.

Perth BDO
1 dead
60 arrests for recreational drug possession
40 others arrested for varying offences

Way to protect and serve.

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?

The New
Blogging it Real supports the following sporting organisations