Monday, June 25, 2007
Fucking bumpkins
Two 14 year olds rob a house of a cache of guns, including a .303 hunting rifle, then take off on a horse, before switching (very sensibly) to a Ford Falcon XR6 "sports saloon." (Who the fuck knew anyone still called them "sports saloons"?). Locals are reported to be "angered" because "these things happen only in Auckland".
Yeah, too fucking right ... every house is practically overflowing with hunting rifles up here in the big smoke. These massive urban arsenals practically beg your average 14 year old to break in and take off on the nearest horse. I can hardly sleep some nights for the noise of gunshots further down the ghetto.
For fuck's sake, why does the media report this rubbish? I sleep fine except for the boy-racers on Friday night (hardly unique to Auckland, eh?) and the local kids discovering a cache of ... fireworks ... once in a while. As for guns ... never owned one, never fired one, lived in Auckland 25 odd years. I'd be next to useless in the forthcoming Zombie apocalypse.
47%
The other week another bumpkin told me they didn't want all the beaches in the area developed "like what's happened up in Auckland." So, that would explain why, within a 25 minute drive of my house, I can be walking along Bethells Beach, feeling like it's the end of the earth, with not another person (let alone a house) to be seen?
Back to our 14 year old armed offenders ... PC Plod has already made the link to "American-style video game[s]." Fuck, I knew the Americans were responsible for this somehow! Of course, if there was a GTA: Sydney or GTA: Saigon developed by non-American programmers no one would play it. (Disclaimer: such games may already exist, for all I know). Why stop with video games though? Surely Bonnie and Clyde are the original "American bad examples for youth" (TM)?
You can guess who the bumpkins blame for coastal development too ... Americans.
Someone tell Tariana Turia!!
I've used "fuck" a lot in this post in an effort to boost our unacceptability for young eyes. So far mingle has only picked up:
* shit (6x)
* fuck (4x)
* crap (3x)
* hell (2x)
* fucking (1x)
Yeah, too fucking right ... every house is practically overflowing with hunting rifles up here in the big smoke. These massive urban arsenals practically beg your average 14 year old to break in and take off on the nearest horse. I can hardly sleep some nights for the noise of gunshots further down the ghetto.
For fuck's sake, why does the media report this rubbish? I sleep fine except for the boy-racers on Friday night (hardly unique to Auckland, eh?) and the local kids discovering a cache of ... fireworks ... once in a while. As for guns ... never owned one, never fired one, lived in Auckland 25 odd years. I'd be next to useless in the forthcoming Zombie apocalypse.
47%
The other week another bumpkin told me they didn't want all the beaches in the area developed "like what's happened up in Auckland." So, that would explain why, within a 25 minute drive of my house, I can be walking along Bethells Beach, feeling like it's the end of the earth, with not another person (let alone a house) to be seen?
Back to our 14 year old armed offenders ... PC Plod has already made the link to "American-style video game[s]." Fuck, I knew the Americans were responsible for this somehow! Of course, if there was a GTA: Sydney or GTA: Saigon developed by non-American programmers no one would play it. (Disclaimer: such games may already exist, for all I know). Why stop with video games though? Surely Bonnie and Clyde are the original "American bad examples for youth" (TM)?
You can guess who the bumpkins blame for coastal development too ... Americans.
Someone tell Tariana Turia!!
I've used "fuck" a lot in this post in an effort to boost our unacceptability for young eyes. So far mingle has only picked up:
* shit (6x)
* fuck (4x)
* crap (3x)
* hell (2x)
* fucking (1x)
Labels: auckland, boy racers, bumpkins, fucking, racism, turia, zombies
Comments:
I can understand bored shitless (seems appropriate to swear on a comment on this blog entry) teenagers drinking.
I can understand bored shitless teenagers playing too much Grand Thief Auto whatever.
I can ALMOST understand bored shitless teenagers jumping in a car.
But where the fuck did hte guns come from?
Yours concerned,
Leg Break.
I can understand bored shitless teenagers playing too much Grand Thief Auto whatever.
I can ALMOST understand bored shitless teenagers jumping in a car.
But where the fuck did hte guns come from?
Yours concerned,
Leg Break.
# posted by 
: 26 June 2007 at 18:26
: 26 June 2007 at 18:26
B) Americans seems OK to me? :)
I'd love to see LTSA figures on car carshes per head of pop. To me there's a huge triangle from the bottom of the Bombays to the bottom of the Waikato to the BoP.
They would have to box above their weight in that stat.
LB
I'd love to see LTSA figures on car carshes per head of pop. To me there's a huge triangle from the bottom of the Bombays to the bottom of the Waikato to the BoP.
They would have to box above their weight in that stat.
LB
# posted by : 26 June 2007 at 21:21
: 26 June 2007 at 21:21
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