Saturday, September 26, 2009
Post #1400: Why I don't care for Jacob Oram
I think I first disliked Jacob Oram when I first saw him play live for the BC's, possibly in Napier in late 2002 (Yamis also in attendance - we both witnessed that rarest of events, Mathew Sinclair scoring an international century).
Here was this beast of a man ... who lumbered in to bowl at little more than a gentle trot, and never seemed to put his back into it.
I quickly got over it. In the end, if a guy can take wickets why should I give a fuck what his action's like? In cricket, this is called the Sri Lankan principle.
And for a while, take wickets he did.
But, over time, Jacob's attitude seemed to soften, and with it his form became less firm than it previously was. The slightest ill-wind would sink his battleship, if you will.
And now there's this 1.98m chump who can muster little more energy than that required for 4 quick overs and a hopeful swish or two.
Too bad about the Champion's Trophy ... Big Jake's services are strangely unavailable!
Look, I know the guy's not terrible when he does take to the field. 'Cos Chuck Z told me so.
Sure, in almost 100 ODI innings he's scored just 1 century and 11 half-centuries, and averaged just 24.40. But hey, his opportunities for big scores would be reduced by coming in late in the middle order (we'll overlook the fact his opportunities for not outs are increased ... oh, and that this year - admittedly in just six innings - he averages just 10.16).
His batting records for 2007 and 2008 are very solid: across 24 innings he managed 8 half-centuries plus his one century (vs Australia), 6 not outs, and an average in the mid-high 40s.
With the ball, he averages about 8 overs & 1 wicket per game over his entire ODI career.
Economy rate of 4.3, and averages 31 runs/wicket.
He hasn't taken 4 or more wickets in an innings since 2005. But still performed reasonably well in both 2007 and 2008.
This year (admittedly in just six innings) he's taken 4 for 220-odd.
So, to conclude:
His record isn't bad by New Zealand standards, and at times he's contributed significantly.
What bothers me about the guy his never-ending list of inexplicable injuries, his apparent unwillingness to play through the most minor of niggles, his inflated sense of self-worth (channelling Mathew Sinclair), his money-grubbing attitude vis-a-vis the Indian T20 comp, his increasingly apparent disregard for the true form of the game (on the basis it requires sustained effort on his part), and his constant whining to the media.
Here was this beast of a man ... who lumbered in to bowl at little more than a gentle trot, and never seemed to put his back into it.
I quickly got over it. In the end, if a guy can take wickets why should I give a fuck what his action's like? In cricket, this is called the Sri Lankan principle.
And for a while, take wickets he did.
But, over time, Jacob's attitude seemed to soften, and with it his form became less firm than it previously was. The slightest ill-wind would sink his battleship, if you will.
And now there's this 1.98m chump who can muster little more energy than that required for 4 quick overs and a hopeful swish or two.
Too bad about the Champion's Trophy ... Big Jake's services are strangely unavailable!
Look, I know the guy's not terrible when he does take to the field. 'Cos Chuck Z told me so.
Sure, in almost 100 ODI innings he's scored just 1 century and 11 half-centuries, and averaged just 24.40. But hey, his opportunities for big scores would be reduced by coming in late in the middle order (we'll overlook the fact his opportunities for not outs are increased ... oh, and that this year - admittedly in just six innings - he averages just 10.16).
His batting records for 2007 and 2008 are very solid: across 24 innings he managed 8 half-centuries plus his one century (vs Australia), 6 not outs, and an average in the mid-high 40s.
With the ball, he averages about 8 overs & 1 wicket per game over his entire ODI career.
Economy rate of 4.3, and averages 31 runs/wicket.
He hasn't taken 4 or more wickets in an innings since 2005. But still performed reasonably well in both 2007 and 2008.
This year (admittedly in just six innings) he's taken 4 for 220-odd.
So, to conclude:
His record isn't bad by New Zealand standards, and at times he's contributed significantly.
What bothers me about the guy his never-ending list of inexplicable injuries, his apparent unwillingness to play through the most minor of niggles, his inflated sense of self-worth (channelling Mathew Sinclair), his money-grubbing attitude vis-a-vis the Indian T20 comp, his increasingly apparent disregard for the true form of the game (on the basis it requires sustained effort on his part), and his constant whining to the media.
Labels: blackcaps, bracewell sucks shit, chuck z, jacob oram
Friday, January 23, 2009
New Zealand Cricket, a Hazard to your Batsman's Health
After an exhaustive study lasting for about 3 hours spread over 3 nights and 9 beers I have come up with the following statistics PROVING beyond a shadow of a doubt that being selected for the Blackcaps and going into their 'environment' is a bad career move if you enjoy gripping a wooden tool.
Essentially what I did was go back and look at all our batsmen that have played test cricket for NZ post 2000 and compared the first half of their careers with the second half of their careers.
Now you would expect that when a player first plays test cricket they are a bit inexperienced, raw and prone to performing a little below their ability. And as time goes by they gain confidence and experience and improve on their performance. There is an expression often bandied around in the NRL that players don't become really useful until they have played 100 first grade games. For most players that would be in their 5th season. Now I'm aware that batting in cricket is for the most parts a game based around eye sight and reflexes on the back of a solid foundation of being able to play cricket strokes but all the same, I expect NZ batsmen to improve after being called into the Blackcaps. They have access to the best coaches, facilities and technology in terms of analysis. They also get to face the best bowlers in the world and should become more comfortable facing them over time, NOT LESS.
But indeed ladies and gentlemen, out batsmen as a whole have worsened while being a part of the Blackcaps setup.
And here is the proof. Of the 24 players I looked at, 14 have seen their average go down and just 10 have improved over the second half of their career. The 'average average' for the first half of their careers is 33.53 and the average for the second half of their careers is 30.04. Bare in mind that those stats would look even worse if they didn't drop players for crap form.
Here's the stats fo yo ass in alfabetakill orda.
ASTLE 35.94 to 37.06 improved with age until Bracewell fucked him off (or told him to fuck off).
BELL 14.7 to 33.9 I don't think you could do worse than 14.7 but that's a respectable second half from Bell. A shame about the 3 ducks in his last 5 innings.
CAIRNS 27.78 to 39.41 As raw as hell when first selected as a 19 year old, he started to own that shit late in his career and went from a pie chucker to quite a skillful bowler as well.
CUMMING 27.89 to 23.75 A 74 on debut and then fails to pass 50 thereafter. Probably a bit limited for this level. Solid (and I mean that in a nice way) failure.
FLEMING 37.18 to 44.92 No point commenting on this guys career. We all analysed it to shit.
FLYNN 38.8 to 46.17 Helped by not outs. Limited ability, relies on Yamis's stock shot of the angled bat down through gully for a single or better yet a 4. Expect him to crash and burn and never been seen in a NZ shirt with black stripy arms again beyond 2009.
FULTON 29 to 19.6 Lacks technique against top bowlers but possibly a victim of the life and form sucking Bracewell vampire era.
HORNE 38.63 to 17.8 What the fuck happened here? old age?
HOW 21.19 to 25.41 Showed real promise but for some reason has had a mental implosion and now seems to lack basic intelligence as to how to craft an innings. Form has turned to shit but may get it back.
McCULLUM 33.7 to 29.4 Now this is concerning and I put it down to Twenty FUCKING 20 (and John Bracewell). This guy is New Zealand Crickets answer to Dan Carters sabbatical accept McCullum will seemingly be allowed one EVERY FUCKING YEAR GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.
McMILLAN 40.3 to 36.5 Ummmmmmm, diabetes plus Bracewell?
J MARSHALL 26 to 12.4 How did this guy get selected in the first place? Mind you he probably just about deserves it on current form. A nice wee example of a guy who got worse after being in the BC setup.
H MARSHALL 60.4 to 13.5 Now that is a booming fall from grace. He looked like THA BOMB for a while there but then NZC sunk their ugly claws into him.
ORAM 43.73 to 31.17 This crippled old fool reckons he's about one more serious injury away from becoming a batsman only. I say he's about one serious injury away from a dog food factory. Another good example though of a talented cricketer losing it at the batting crease after too many meetings with Bracewell.
PARORE 25.42 to 27.23 Almost doesn't qualify for the list because he's been gone for a fair while but a solid second half to his career but never quite produced as we all expected. Probably should have averaged about 30.
PAPPS 24.57 to 9.25 Yep, awesome.
REDMOND 10.4 to 37.7 Selected because of his dads long and illustrious career. The jury is still out after just 14 innings but I'd say he's fairly close to being out himself.
RICHARDSON 47.1 to 37.7 No brainer here. Old age and stress caused this second half decline but even so, this was a REAL opener produced in NZ (excusing the fact he started as an offspinner). I often lay awake at night with tears on my pillow thinking about a NZ opener who was making serious runs.
RYDER 44.6 to 44.2 Just starting out but expect that average to drop to 40 (if he turns out to be good) or 35 (if he turns out to have just been lucky so far). Or it could just stay at 44.5 after he gets busted for shagging a blowup doll on a beach in Wellington in broad daylight after a night on the turps.
SINCLAIR 44.5 to 22 A headjob. Nothing to blame here except genetics.
STYRIS 41.2 to 30.9 The passion disappeared here. Or skill? Or the body? or else fucking Bracewell!
TAYLOR 45.6 to 24.2 Now this is just not on! Sort yourself out. This is the McCullum illness here. Twenty FUCKING 20 and John Bracewell!
VETTORI 16.8 to 38.2 Here is a man who has grown some balls at the crease. Although it was largely forced on him by the abomination known as the NZ batting lineup over several years. Well done that man.
VINCENT 29.4 to 38.7 Looking at that you'd wonder why he still isn't having a crack especially when his last 6 test scores were 52, 224, 13, 92, 33 and 4. Anyway, I'm off to buy a lotto ticket.
Essentially what I did was go back and look at all our batsmen that have played test cricket for NZ post 2000 and compared the first half of their careers with the second half of their careers.
Now you would expect that when a player first plays test cricket they are a bit inexperienced, raw and prone to performing a little below their ability. And as time goes by they gain confidence and experience and improve on their performance. There is an expression often bandied around in the NRL that players don't become really useful until they have played 100 first grade games. For most players that would be in their 5th season. Now I'm aware that batting in cricket is for the most parts a game based around eye sight and reflexes on the back of a solid foundation of being able to play cricket strokes but all the same, I expect NZ batsmen to improve after being called into the Blackcaps. They have access to the best coaches, facilities and technology in terms of analysis. They also get to face the best bowlers in the world and should become more comfortable facing them over time, NOT LESS.
But indeed ladies and gentlemen, out batsmen as a whole have worsened while being a part of the Blackcaps setup.
And here is the proof. Of the 24 players I looked at, 14 have seen their average go down and just 10 have improved over the second half of their career. The 'average average' for the first half of their careers is 33.53 and the average for the second half of their careers is 30.04. Bare in mind that those stats would look even worse if they didn't drop players for crap form.
Here's the stats fo yo ass in alfabetakill orda.
ASTLE 35.94 to 37.06 improved with age until Bracewell fucked him off (or told him to fuck off).
BELL 14.7 to 33.9 I don't think you could do worse than 14.7 but that's a respectable second half from Bell. A shame about the 3 ducks in his last 5 innings.
CAIRNS 27.78 to 39.41 As raw as hell when first selected as a 19 year old, he started to own that shit late in his career and went from a pie chucker to quite a skillful bowler as well.
CUMMING 27.89 to 23.75 A 74 on debut and then fails to pass 50 thereafter. Probably a bit limited for this level. Solid (and I mean that in a nice way) failure.
FLEMING 37.18 to 44.92 No point commenting on this guys career. We all analysed it to shit.
FLYNN 38.8 to 46.17 Helped by not outs. Limited ability, relies on Yamis's stock shot of the angled bat down through gully for a single or better yet a 4. Expect him to crash and burn and never been seen in a NZ shirt with black stripy arms again beyond 2009.
FULTON 29 to 19.6 Lacks technique against top bowlers but possibly a victim of the life and form sucking Bracewell vampire era.
HORNE 38.63 to 17.8 What the fuck happened here? old age?
HOW 21.19 to 25.41 Showed real promise but for some reason has had a mental implosion and now seems to lack basic intelligence as to how to craft an innings. Form has turned to shit but may get it back.
McCULLUM 33.7 to 29.4 Now this is concerning and I put it down to Twenty FUCKING 20 (and John Bracewell). This guy is New Zealand Crickets answer to Dan Carters sabbatical accept McCullum will seemingly be allowed one EVERY FUCKING YEAR GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.
McMILLAN 40.3 to 36.5 Ummmmmmm, diabetes plus Bracewell?
J MARSHALL 26 to 12.4 How did this guy get selected in the first place? Mind you he probably just about deserves it on current form. A nice wee example of a guy who got worse after being in the BC setup.
H MARSHALL 60.4 to 13.5 Now that is a booming fall from grace. He looked like THA BOMB for a while there but then NZC sunk their ugly claws into him.
ORAM 43.73 to 31.17 This crippled old fool reckons he's about one more serious injury away from becoming a batsman only. I say he's about one serious injury away from a dog food factory. Another good example though of a talented cricketer losing it at the batting crease after too many meetings with Bracewell.
PARORE 25.42 to 27.23 Almost doesn't qualify for the list because he's been gone for a fair while but a solid second half to his career but never quite produced as we all expected. Probably should have averaged about 30.
PAPPS 24.57 to 9.25 Yep, awesome.
REDMOND 10.4 to 37.7 Selected because of his dads long and illustrious career. The jury is still out after just 14 innings but I'd say he's fairly close to being out himself.
RICHARDSON 47.1 to 37.7 No brainer here. Old age and stress caused this second half decline but even so, this was a REAL opener produced in NZ (excusing the fact he started as an offspinner). I often lay awake at night with tears on my pillow thinking about a NZ opener who was making serious runs.
RYDER 44.6 to 44.2 Just starting out but expect that average to drop to 40 (if he turns out to be good) or 35 (if he turns out to have just been lucky so far). Or it could just stay at 44.5 after he gets busted for shagging a blowup doll on a beach in Wellington in broad daylight after a night on the turps.
SINCLAIR 44.5 to 22 A headjob. Nothing to blame here except genetics.
STYRIS 41.2 to 30.9 The passion disappeared here. Or skill? Or the body? or else fucking Bracewell!
TAYLOR 45.6 to 24.2 Now this is just not on! Sort yourself out. This is the McCullum illness here. Twenty FUCKING 20 and John Bracewell!
VETTORI 16.8 to 38.2 Here is a man who has grown some balls at the crease. Although it was largely forced on him by the abomination known as the NZ batting lineup over several years. Well done that man.
VINCENT 29.4 to 38.7 Looking at that you'd wonder why he still isn't having a crack especially when his last 6 test scores were 52, 224, 13, 92, 33 and 4. Anyway, I'm off to buy a lotto ticket.
Labels: blackcaps, bracewell sucks shit, cricket
Monday, January 12, 2009
Alas, poor Skippy
So Mathew Sinclair is dropped from the NZ cricket squad after a less-than-inspiring innings of 2 runs, to make way for the fat drunk known as Jesse "the body" Ryder. Sinclair was out caught behind to a prod outside off stump ... the same shot that Guptill got away with when the Windies 'keeper spilled a regulation edge. In fact, hero Guptill was dropped 3 times before he reached 30. If Sinclair had one third of that luck, he might have gone on to a great innings too.
Also interesting is that Guptill is dropped down the order to make way for the body (after making the most of his chances as opener, and then going on to score a great century). The logical choice would have been to drop McCullum - who can hardly buy a solid innings at the moment - down to #3.
Also interesting is that Guptill is dropped down the order to make way for the body (after making the most of his chances as opener, and then going on to score a great century). The logical choice would have been to drop McCullum - who can hardly buy a solid innings at the moment - down to #3.
Labels: blackcaps, bring back Skippy, jesse the body
Thursday, December 18, 2008
First Class Centuries by current NZ players
Upon reading that the walking wicket, 2MP, had been brought in as cover for Ross "the Samoan" Taylor, I decided to investigate how many 1st class centuries the former had, and who else is around the traps that might be a better prospect, measured solely in terms of first-class centuries. Realizing this favours older players, here goes:
Mathew Sinclair = 26
Matthew Bell = 23
Michael Parlane = 14
RA Jones = 13
Marshall the Lesser = 10
Sachin Tendulkar = 67
Piggy Styris = 9
Poor Injured Jake = 8
Neal Parlane = 8
Ross the Samoan = 7
2MP = 7
James Franklin = 5
One of those players is not currently available for New Zealand unfortunately.
But may I be the first to say, "Bring back Skippy!"
Also, for god's sake, Bell for How, who is averaging 14 in tests so far this season (compared to 35 for the unfortunate Redmond).
Mathew Sinclair = 26
Matthew Bell = 23
Michael Parlane = 14
RA Jones = 13
Marshall the Lesser = 10
Sachin Tendulkar = 67
Piggy Styris = 9
Poor Injured Jake = 8
Neal Parlane = 8
Ross the Samoan = 7
2MP = 7
James Franklin = 5
One of those players is not currently available for New Zealand unfortunately.
But may I be the first to say, "Bring back Skippy!"
Also, for god's sake, Bell for How, who is averaging 14 in tests so far this season (compared to 35 for the unfortunate Redmond).
Labels: blackcaps, bring back Skippy, can't bat for shit, cricket
Sunday, December 07, 2008
Black Caps squad for WIndies
Time to move on from all the wretched disappointment of the Bracewell era, ending as it did with the abysmal Bangladesh tour and the expected, but still gutting, losses to Aus. The Caps are at home to the Windies and we've got a seventh placing to claw back. The selectors must have kept an ear on public sentiment this week, as it looks like they've taken all the popular decisions in naming the Black Caps squad to face the Windies on Thursday.
Starting at the top Son of Rodney is another opening-bat victim, swapped out for yet another journeyman provincial player in the form of his life, Tim McIntosh. By the same criteria it could have been Matty Bell back for a third time. I feel that Redmond would have made a decent fist of things once back on familiar pitches and has missed out. He's also an extra spin option and a back-up keeper. To his credit he took the axing well, as I'm sure he's now gone the way of Papps, Cumming, et al. McIntosh needs to cement his spot in these two tests or we'll be scanning the form guide for the next victim before India tour in March.
Gareth Hopkins is out. We don't really need a spare keeper at home, although with Redmond out it does mean that Jesse the Body could be called on to do a few squats.
Grant Elliott can't compete at Test level and shouldn't have been asked to fill Jake's shoes. Now that Oram is back Elliot can go back to being a bloody good provincial player for the Firebirds.
Fulton should have been asked to fill Jake's shoes earlier but as it is he's had a one-Test recall. Probably seventh when seeking the best six batsmen in the country currently so I hope he has a cracker domestic season and gets more chances should anyone else fail or fall.
Oram returns to his number six spot and immediately makes for a better looking line-up, especially with James Franklin joining him after showing off his batting skills, polished by lots of batting practise while recovering from his knee injury. Our middle-lower order is world class with these guys joining Vettori and McCullum.
I'm pretty excited to have Franklin back. To me he is an 'in ink' player for the BCs along with the senior trio and Taylor. Franklin's inclusion comes at the expense of wonder-kid Tim Southee, who has been well-blooded overseas and on some different tracks. I hope his dropping reflects a good player development strategy designed to bring out the best in him.
Chris Martin is out, dropped nominally in favour of Mark Gillespie but really his spot has been taken by Ian O'Brien. We don't need two reliable bunnies. Probably a good decision on form and we do have a decent stck of bowlers currently, so keeping them all competitive makes sense.
The selectors have suggested a lineup change, recomending Daniel Flynn move to three from five, swapping places with Jesse the Body. I like the move. Flynn has a much better temperament for three, as does the Jesse the Body for five.
Lineup:
How
McIntosh
Flynn
Taylor
Ryder
Oram
McCullum
Franklin
Vettori
Gillespie
O'Brien
The questions:
How many more chances for Jamie How?
How many chances for McIntosh?
Taylor ahead of Ryder at four?
Franklin eight and Vettori nine?
Sorriest for Redmond or Martin?
Any better ideas?
Starting at the top Son of Rodney is another opening-bat victim, swapped out for yet another journeyman provincial player in the form of his life, Tim McIntosh. By the same criteria it could have been Matty Bell back for a third time. I feel that Redmond would have made a decent fist of things once back on familiar pitches and has missed out. He's also an extra spin option and a back-up keeper. To his credit he took the axing well, as I'm sure he's now gone the way of Papps, Cumming, et al. McIntosh needs to cement his spot in these two tests or we'll be scanning the form guide for the next victim before India tour in March.
Gareth Hopkins is out. We don't really need a spare keeper at home, although with Redmond out it does mean that Jesse the Body could be called on to do a few squats.
Grant Elliott can't compete at Test level and shouldn't have been asked to fill Jake's shoes. Now that Oram is back Elliot can go back to being a bloody good provincial player for the Firebirds.
Fulton should have been asked to fill Jake's shoes earlier but as it is he's had a one-Test recall. Probably seventh when seeking the best six batsmen in the country currently so I hope he has a cracker domestic season and gets more chances should anyone else fail or fall.
Oram returns to his number six spot and immediately makes for a better looking line-up, especially with James Franklin joining him after showing off his batting skills, polished by lots of batting practise while recovering from his knee injury. Our middle-lower order is world class with these guys joining Vettori and McCullum.
I'm pretty excited to have Franklin back. To me he is an 'in ink' player for the BCs along with the senior trio and Taylor. Franklin's inclusion comes at the expense of wonder-kid Tim Southee, who has been well-blooded overseas and on some different tracks. I hope his dropping reflects a good player development strategy designed to bring out the best in him.
Chris Martin is out, dropped nominally in favour of Mark Gillespie but really his spot has been taken by Ian O'Brien. We don't need two reliable bunnies. Probably a good decision on form and we do have a decent stck of bowlers currently, so keeping them all competitive makes sense.
The selectors have suggested a lineup change, recomending Daniel Flynn move to three from five, swapping places with Jesse the Body. I like the move. Flynn has a much better temperament for three, as does the Jesse the Body for five.
Lineup:
How
McIntosh
Flynn
Taylor
Ryder
Oram
McCullum
Franklin
Vettori
Gillespie
O'Brien
The questions:
How many more chances for Jamie How?
How many chances for McIntosh?
Taylor ahead of Ryder at four?
Franklin eight and Vettori nine?
Sorriest for Redmond or Martin?
Any better ideas?
Labels: blackcaps, john bracewell
Friday, November 28, 2008
BLACK DUMB FUCK CAPS
And here we go again with a lesson in how to butcher an innings with basically only one of the 6 wickets to fall having anything whatsoever to do with the bowler.
Do these guys have a clue about how to get big scores at the top level?
I know that we have severe technical deficiencies and far less natural and mental ability than most other test batsmen but that shouldn't mean that they can't at least learn to be better than they are.
This is a 400 run pitch on a bad day and we may still get there (unlikely because our last 3 batsmen are dogs balls) but it will be no thanks to misters Redmond, How, Taylor (sawn off admittedly but he would have holed out in the next few minutes anyway), Ryder and Fulton.
Redmond can be let off because 83 is a good score and if we got 4 of them we'd be posting a big one but his shot was an utter brain explosion. He had forced Ponting into a defensive field setting with three men deep on the leg side so that then means you look for other types of deliveries to work into the gaps you've created. You don't keep hitting it back to the same place and hope that it comes right out of the middle and your timing is perfect.
Anyways stats for the day...
Taylors test scores in order (lowest to highest)
2, 4, 6, 8, 9, 12, 14, 15, 15, 17, 19, 19, 20, 21, 40, 44, 53, 55, 74, 75, 120, 154*
Average of 37.9 (solid)
Median score of 19 (piss poor)
How many bloody starts is that for fuck all 'finishes'?
He is an incredibly talented batsman. I remember watching him on the tellie playing for CD as he spanked the ball to all parts of the boundary thinking that he was going to be one of the greats of NZ cricket and he probably will be one of our standouts but unless somebody gets in his ear and sorts him out he will be another "good but could have been truly great" players that NZ has produced. And by god we produce fuck all batsmen that can hold a pair of nuts for a few hours at a time consistently. He should really be averaging in the 40s without breaking a sweat. Unfortunately this generation is growing up and playing with a procession of openers averaging in the 18 to 28 range and all other batsmen averaging in the low to mid 30s if they are lucky. So to them they are doing Ok if they can deliver something similar. unfortunately all that results in is test wins over Bangladesh and test results like 2 wins and 17 losses v S Africa, OZ and England (under Bracwell and thank fuck he is gone). Although the jury is well and truly out there on his replacement. I'll give him a couple of series to see how he gets our batsmen going but my hopes aren't high. Although anything would be an improvement than the freakshow we've had.
Do these guys have a clue about how to get big scores at the top level?
I know that we have severe technical deficiencies and far less natural and mental ability than most other test batsmen but that shouldn't mean that they can't at least learn to be better than they are.
This is a 400 run pitch on a bad day and we may still get there (unlikely because our last 3 batsmen are dogs balls) but it will be no thanks to misters Redmond, How, Taylor (sawn off admittedly but he would have holed out in the next few minutes anyway), Ryder and Fulton.
Redmond can be let off because 83 is a good score and if we got 4 of them we'd be posting a big one but his shot was an utter brain explosion. He had forced Ponting into a defensive field setting with three men deep on the leg side so that then means you look for other types of deliveries to work into the gaps you've created. You don't keep hitting it back to the same place and hope that it comes right out of the middle and your timing is perfect.
Anyways stats for the day...
Taylors test scores in order (lowest to highest)
2, 4, 6, 8, 9, 12, 14, 15, 15, 17, 19, 19, 20, 21, 40, 44, 53, 55, 74, 75, 120, 154*
Average of 37.9 (solid)
Median score of 19 (piss poor)
How many bloody starts is that for fuck all 'finishes'?
He is an incredibly talented batsman. I remember watching him on the tellie playing for CD as he spanked the ball to all parts of the boundary thinking that he was going to be one of the greats of NZ cricket and he probably will be one of our standouts but unless somebody gets in his ear and sorts him out he will be another "good but could have been truly great" players that NZ has produced. And by god we produce fuck all batsmen that can hold a pair of nuts for a few hours at a time consistently. He should really be averaging in the 40s without breaking a sweat. Unfortunately this generation is growing up and playing with a procession of openers averaging in the 18 to 28 range and all other batsmen averaging in the low to mid 30s if they are lucky. So to them they are doing Ok if they can deliver something similar. unfortunately all that results in is test wins over Bangladesh and test results like 2 wins and 17 losses v S Africa, OZ and England (under Bracwell and thank fuck he is gone). Although the jury is well and truly out there on his replacement. I'll give him a couple of series to see how he gets our batsmen going but my hopes aren't high. Although anything would be an improvement than the freakshow we've had.
Labels: blackcaps, cricket, ross taylor
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Black Caps still sucking
212/9. Repeat performance.
I think we'll win this one, but that doesn't excuse our losing 9 wickets in 50 overs! Faahaaken hell, how much can we take?
Update: woohoo.
I think we'll win this one, but that doesn't excuse our losing 9 wickets in 50 overs! Faahaaken hell, how much can we take?
Update: woohoo.
Labels: blackcaps, bracewell sucks shit, can't bat for shit, crap, cricket, dickheads, incompetent time wasting fucks, new zealand players
Thursday, October 09, 2008
Black Caps suck again
Yup it's true they do they do they do. It's enough to break your fucking heart. Soundly beaten by a shit team. Bangladesh take an seven fucking wicket victory and with it ruin our hopes of an elevation, however temporary, to the number two spot on the ICC ODI rankings. How fucking humiliating. You want to be the number two team in the world boys? Little things like beating the number nine team in the world help, aye? Dumbasses.
In brighter news, oh, that's right, there is no brighter news. This makes everything completely shit.
In brighter news, oh, that's right, there is no brighter news. This makes everything completely shit.
Labels: blackcaps, bracewell sucks shit, can't bat for shit, crap, cricket, dickheads, incompetent time wasting fucks, new zealand players
Friday, September 12, 2008
That's more like it
I knew I was in trouble when DC Red asked me about my recent Pacific holiday and then suggested that my response could be a blog.
I've been engaging in a new form of blogging since my last post, I'll call it anti-blogging, whereby MY SILENCE SPEAKS VOLUMES!
I think Yamis is anti-blogging too, or else he's in shock that the Warriors made the finals series.
I've been anti-blogging because I'm fuckin disgusted! With everything! I came back from holiday into BULLSHIT. Look, I not going to carp on, not why I'm here tonight all cut and hazy. I am here because out of the crescendo of DISGUSTING AWFUL NEWS came a reminder of why I bother at all. Good news came to me today. Something to care about that isn't going to really break my heart. A lighter tragedy than the human tragedy, but one in which the strengths and weaknesses of the human spirit are equally on show and at odds. Yes, today came the happy reminder that more cricket is coming! Ahh yes indeed, that's more like it!
So, today, Dion Nash named a squad of 15 (with two spots trading places for the later Tests) to travel to Bangladesh for three ODIs and two Tests.
Missing from the contracted 20 players is James Franklin, Peter Fulton, James Marshall and Michael Mason. The squad is completed by the winter contracted Grant Elliott.
My most pressing query is the omission of Franklin, who had a full tour with the Emerging Players in July and seemed, I was sure, an automatic recall.
I reckon too that Peter Fulton, especially given his recent ton for the Emerging Players, deserves another shot in the squad, although we have a several young and talented batsmen in our second XI growing hopeful for a spot in the BCs.
ODIs:
Starting at the top Jesse Ryder returns, likely to partner McCullum at top, with How to kick on in his successful no.3 position, allowing Taylor the comfort of a no. 4 role. From there I assume that Styris comes in at five ahead of Flynn at six, Oram seven and Vettori eight. Add a Mills and Southee to those and you're left only with the choice of Martin, who's back in the ODI frame, Patel or Gillespie.
Tests:
Redmond swaps with Styris to get another chance to 'cement a spot' and How looks the best long-term bet going as the other opener, leaving scant resources to flesh out the top order. Best results are likely to be achieved from Taylor at three giving Ryder and Flynn options at four or five. The Oram, McCullum, Vettori combination is the best lower-middle order in the game and again Mills and Southee* are most likely to follow. This time the choice of bunny is either O'Brien (swapped with Gillespie for the slightly longer games), Patel or Martin.
*I have Southee as an automatic choice as he's our greatest whitest hope, and should be playing all the cricket he can handle as he is developed into our long-term no.1 bowler.
I'm quite positive about Bangladeshi cricket. The last time we played the Bangles at the Basin I bought a match pass which allowed me to be there for all seven sessions. At home they'll have their moments of brilliance in the ODI's, which may make for interesting games. Although we'll fill our boots in the tests we'll have another look at our fringe batsmen.
Thankfully there is no requirement to grow the 20/plenty game in Bangladesh so roll on the first ODI on October 9! It'll make me happy.
I've been engaging in a new form of blogging since my last post, I'll call it anti-blogging, whereby MY SILENCE SPEAKS VOLUMES!
I think Yamis is anti-blogging too, or else he's in shock that the Warriors made the finals series.
I've been anti-blogging because I'm fuckin disgusted! With everything! I came back from holiday into BULLSHIT. Look, I not going to carp on, not why I'm here tonight all cut and hazy. I am here because out of the crescendo of DISGUSTING AWFUL NEWS came a reminder of why I bother at all. Good news came to me today. Something to care about that isn't going to really break my heart. A lighter tragedy than the human tragedy, but one in which the strengths and weaknesses of the human spirit are equally on show and at odds. Yes, today came the happy reminder that more cricket is coming! Ahh yes indeed, that's more like it!
So, today, Dion Nash named a squad of 15 (with two spots trading places for the later Tests) to travel to Bangladesh for three ODIs and two Tests.
Missing from the contracted 20 players is James Franklin, Peter Fulton, James Marshall and Michael Mason. The squad is completed by the winter contracted Grant Elliott.
My most pressing query is the omission of Franklin, who had a full tour with the Emerging Players in July and seemed, I was sure, an automatic recall.
I reckon too that Peter Fulton, especially given his recent ton for the Emerging Players, deserves another shot in the squad, although we have a several young and talented batsmen in our second XI growing hopeful for a spot in the BCs.
ODIs:
Starting at the top Jesse Ryder returns, likely to partner McCullum at top, with How to kick on in his successful no.3 position, allowing Taylor the comfort of a no. 4 role. From there I assume that Styris comes in at five ahead of Flynn at six, Oram seven and Vettori eight. Add a Mills and Southee to those and you're left only with the choice of Martin, who's back in the ODI frame, Patel or Gillespie.
Tests:
Redmond swaps with Styris to get another chance to 'cement a spot' and How looks the best long-term bet going as the other opener, leaving scant resources to flesh out the top order. Best results are likely to be achieved from Taylor at three giving Ryder and Flynn options at four or five. The Oram, McCullum, Vettori combination is the best lower-middle order in the game and again Mills and Southee* are most likely to follow. This time the choice of bunny is either O'Brien (swapped with Gillespie for the slightly longer games), Patel or Martin.
*I have Southee as an automatic choice as he's our greatest whitest hope, and should be playing all the cricket he can handle as he is developed into our long-term no.1 bowler.
I'm quite positive about Bangladeshi cricket. The last time we played the Bangles at the Basin I bought a match pass which allowed me to be there for all seven sessions. At home they'll have their moments of brilliance in the ODI's, which may make for interesting games. Although we'll fill our boots in the tests we'll have another look at our fringe batsmen.
Thankfully there is no requirement to grow the 20/plenty game in Bangladesh so roll on the first ODI on October 9! It'll make me happy.
Friday, May 16, 2008
NRL Tips Week: 'no mans land'
Well, we aren't quite in no mans land really in the NRL, that's probably more like rounds 14 to 19 when State of Origin has finished but the playoffs are still a bit far off to get excited about 8 X 2 point matchups. Incidentally thats the period when crowd averages go from about 16,000 to 12,000 until the pick up at the end as fans try to bring their teams home to glory (ous first round exits in the PO's)
My tips can be found at sportsfreak as usual.
The Blues have probably ended their Super 14 hopes tonight. They needed a bonus point but hell when you have to scrap for every inch to score one try and win by two points then you can't criticise them too much.
They now will have to hope that the Reds beat the Waratahs in Brisbane (very possible) and the Chiefs topple the Sharks in Durban (highly unlikely) or the Lions (or Cheetahs?) beat the Stormers. The latter match will probably be the game that gets jacked up big time with gold watches and rand flying all over the place.
And just in case you are a New Zealander living in Magadan Oblast and are having trouble logging into cricinfo the Blackcaps 222/7. Vettori has 8 runs from 40 deliveries. That's almost a newspaper lead story in itself. People will bitch and moan about our score but of the dismissals I caught up with they were decent deliveries whcih moved off the pitch a touch which is all they need to do (as Hadlee always said, they only need to move the width of the bat) and at the speed these buggars bowl at ANY poor sod would play and miss, or nick them.
Oh, yes and welcome aboard to Chuck Z. The previous missing link. Now we just need a well adjusted South Islander. Small chance.
My tips can be found at sportsfreak as usual.
The Blues have probably ended their Super 14 hopes tonight. They needed a bonus point but hell when you have to scrap for every inch to score one try and win by two points then you can't criticise them too much.
They now will have to hope that the Reds beat the Waratahs in Brisbane (very possible) and the Chiefs topple the Sharks in Durban (highly unlikely) or the Lions (or Cheetahs?) beat the Stormers. The latter match will probably be the game that gets jacked up big time with gold watches and rand flying all over the place.
And just in case you are a New Zealander living in Magadan Oblast and are having trouble logging into cricinfo the Blackcaps 222/7. Vettori has 8 runs from 40 deliveries. That's almost a newspaper lead story in itself. People will bitch and moan about our score but of the dismissals I caught up with they were decent deliveries whcih moved off the pitch a touch which is all they need to do (as Hadlee always said, they only need to move the width of the bat) and at the speed these buggars bowl at ANY poor sod would play and miss, or nick them.
Oh, yes and welcome aboard to Chuck Z. The previous missing link. Now we just need a well adjusted South Islander. Small chance.
Labels: blackcaps, chuck z, magadan oblast, nrl tipping, super 14
Monday, March 24, 2008
NZ batting (is a joke)
Matthew Bell despite averaging over 100 in domestic cricket this summer now has the following test scores...
0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 1, 4, 4, 4, 5, 6, 6, 6, 7, 7, 15, 15, 19, 20*, 23, 25, 26*, 28, 29, 40, 75, 83, 105, 107.
The red scores are his comeback scores from this season after a 7 year absence.
In his career as an opener he has been dismissed after facing this many deliveries 1, 2, 2, 2, 3, 4, 6, 7, 11, 13, 20, 24, 24, 25, 29, 35, 37, 43, 47, 47, 72, 74, 79, 88, 96, 97, 133, 163, 180, 184, 224,
So he's been dismissed 22.5% of the time in the 'first over'.
I guess what I am trying to get at here is that he should not tour England because if he does he will average 20 (if he's lucky, and that will be balls faced not runs) and will contribute strongly to the inevitable 3-0 series defeat.
Another one who will go but perhaps should not is Jamie How.
Test scores of 0, 0, 0, 4, 7, 8, 9*, 11, 11, 26, 33, 37, 39, 44, 92 averaging 22.92.
That's one meaningful contribution from 14 completed innings.
Taylor is a little better but will need to step up massively in ol' blighty.
Test scores of 2, 4, 6, 8, 15, 17, 53, 55, 120 averaging 31.11.
That's just not good enough. One meaningful contribution, two decent ones and six failures.
Once Fleming (39.92) goes our best average will be Sinclair but there's no way on this fucking earth or any other one that he should go. He averages 33.10.
So we could have a graphic come up on screen showing our teams batting averages which has Taylor as our best batsman averaging 31.11. I think the English will shit themselves laughing. Thanks Bracewell for forcing Fleming into retirement. You are a bona fide %^&*$#%.
0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 1, 4, 4, 4, 5, 6, 6, 6, 7, 7, 15, 15, 19, 20*, 23, 25, 26*, 28, 29, 40, 75, 83, 105, 107.
The red scores are his comeback scores from this season after a 7 year absence.
In his career as an opener he has been dismissed after facing this many deliveries 1, 2, 2, 2, 3, 4, 6, 7, 11, 13, 20, 24, 24, 25, 29, 35, 37, 43, 47, 47, 72, 74, 79, 88, 96, 97, 133, 163, 180, 184, 224,
So he's been dismissed 22.5% of the time in the 'first over'.
I guess what I am trying to get at here is that he should not tour England because if he does he will average 20 (if he's lucky, and that will be balls faced not runs) and will contribute strongly to the inevitable 3-0 series defeat.
Another one who will go but perhaps should not is Jamie How.
Test scores of 0, 0, 0, 4, 7, 8, 9*, 11, 11, 26, 33, 37, 39, 44, 92 averaging 22.92.
That's one meaningful contribution from 14 completed innings.
Taylor is a little better but will need to step up massively in ol' blighty.
Test scores of 2, 4, 6, 8, 15, 17, 53, 55, 120 averaging 31.11.
That's just not good enough. One meaningful contribution, two decent ones and six failures.
Once Fleming (39.92) goes our best average will be Sinclair but there's no way on this fucking earth or any other one that he should go. He averages 33.10.
So we could have a graphic come up on screen showing our teams batting averages which has Taylor as our best batsman averaging 31.11. I think the English will shit themselves laughing. Thanks Bracewell for forcing Fleming into retirement. You are a bona fide %^&*$#%.
Labels: blackcaps, bracewell sucks shit, fleming, jamie how, matthew bell, ross taylor
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Matthew Sinclair in love scandal with NZ Selectors
I swear to god, something must have gone on there. The guy hasn't made any bloody runs of note in over 5 years and yet year after year gets picked for "his big chance" and year after year fails, gets dropped, gets reselected, fucks our innings up again and gets dropped. As Martin Crowe angrily joked, if he gets selected for the England tour then he's making a comeback.
In the last 19 completed NZ innings our top 5 and innings totals are as follows:
119/168
113/198
173/311
191/470
115/177
216/393
260/357
165/188
117/136
83/118
90/172
75/130
156/286
113/206
103 (out of 119/5)
78/119
117/283
237/593
(121 for 3)
45/327
26/120
that's an average for our top five of 130. Ordinarily when you are 130 for 5 you might expect to be dismissed for around 230. Our innings totals have averaged at 250 which means our bottom 5 partnerships are netting only 10 runs less than our top 5.
Ideally you might expect a side to be about 250 for 5 and bowled out for 360 or thereabouts but we have been so utterly shit with the bat for so long now its unbelievable. We've told Astle, Styris and Fleming to fuck off and now we are left with a bunch of guys who can't bat to save themselves or anyone else.
The tour to England should be a horror show. A train slamming into an existing train wreck, followed by a logging truck, dump truck and then nuked from above.
And part of it all is Sinclair who has not made a test century since 2001, 21 tests ago. The best he's done in that time is 74. Last time I looked that means HE'S DONE FUCKEN NOTHING TO HELP NZ WIN A TEST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
His test scores from lowest to highest...
0
0
0
0
1
1
2
2
2
3
3
4
4
6
6
7
7
7
8
8
9
9
10
12
17
17
18
19
19*
20
21
23
23
23
24
24
27
29
29
34
35*
36
37
39
43*
44
47
50*
69
74
76
150
204*
214
That is so grim it's not funny. Especially when you consider the bottom 3 scores came in his first 12 tests and in the 20 since he's averaged 21.43 coming in in a position that you should have the best batting conditions.
In the last 19 completed NZ innings our top 5 and innings totals are as follows:
119/168
113/198
173/311
191/470
115/177
216/393
260/357
165/188
117/136
83/118
90/172
75/130
156/286
113/206
103 (out of 119/5)
78/119
117/283
237/593
(121 for 3)
45/327
26/120
that's an average for our top five of 130. Ordinarily when you are 130 for 5 you might expect to be dismissed for around 230. Our innings totals have averaged at 250 which means our bottom 5 partnerships are netting only 10 runs less than our top 5.
Ideally you might expect a side to be about 250 for 5 and bowled out for 360 or thereabouts but we have been so utterly shit with the bat for so long now its unbelievable. We've told Astle, Styris and Fleming to fuck off and now we are left with a bunch of guys who can't bat to save themselves or anyone else.
The tour to England should be a horror show. A train slamming into an existing train wreck, followed by a logging truck, dump truck and then nuked from above.
And part of it all is Sinclair who has not made a test century since 2001, 21 tests ago. The best he's done in that time is 74. Last time I looked that means HE'S DONE FUCKEN NOTHING TO HELP NZ WIN A TEST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
His test scores from lowest to highest...
0
0
0
0
1
1
2
2
2
3
3
4
4
6
6
7
7
7
8
8
9
9
10
12
17
17
18
19
19*
20
21
23
23
23
24
24
27
29
29
34
35*
36
37
39
43*
44
47
50*
69
74
76
150
204*
214
That is so grim it's not funny. Especially when you consider the bottom 3 scores came in his first 12 tests and in the 20 since he's averaged 21.43 coming in in a position that you should have the best batting conditions.
Labels: blackcaps, can't bat for shit, cricket, innings totals
