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Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Oh Fuck Off 

***disclaimer, the following is meant to offend some people and if it doesn't I whole heartedly apologise and will try harder next time***

Campbell Live just had an item on the snow down in Twizel or Hickel or where ever the fuck and once again they somehow turn it into an opportunity to bash Aucklanders and North Islanders.

I mean wasn't the point of the story to show that Twizel was under a whole heap of snow? What the fuck does that have to do with any of us?!

But no, in the space of a couple of minutes they manage to have THREE digs at us 'northies' by saying (1) that it's crap how they supply power for us up north* but they have some shit arse supply down there (yeah and we pay for your fucken roads and other infrastructure like vet schools for all those sheep you are, (2) that Aucklanders would have been stuffed since our power was out for 4 hours while they are so tough lasting more than a day yeah that's cos you are used to living in the 18th century which is where your brains still are), and (3) that people in the North Island wouldn't even think to drop off fire wood to elderly people's homes who were stuck because of the snow (more or less the narrators exact words, this narrator must live in the most utterly wankiest part of Auckland and it would serve them right if this is what they encounter, or else they don't live in Auckland and suffer from John Morrison disease).

Well go wank yourselves.

The neighbour on one side of us apprehended some teenage burglars wo were sneaking about the back of our place a few months ago while our other neighbour is helping us concrete our driveway providing materials at no cost, while they just built a shared fence from their own pocket despite protests and I regularly get handed beers over this fence.

So piss off with your boring crap and go get a fucken life!

* On the whole "we supply you with power" bullshit I have a couple of points I'd like to make.
1. YOU did not build those hydro power stations out of your own pockets (most of the money has come from the tax from the rest of the country who are actually receiving the electricity)
2. None of you created those lakes and rivers (they were already fucken there)
3. None of you live in houseboats on these lakes or rivers, they have no god damn effect on your lives aside from perhaps creating a few jobs for you.
4. Why does nobody jump up and down that farmers in the Canterbury Plains and elsewhere in the South Island are draining rivers and the water tables nearly dry for irrigation for their dry as fuck fields and then dumping sheep and cow shit in these rivers for good measure?
5. Just fuck off.


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