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Sunday, October 09, 2005

Sport - Making People Happy 

Well, some of them anyway. For others it's pain, suffering, blame and maybe the odd drive-by.

NOTE: If you are about to read this you had better have paid the $29.95 as this is official premium editorial content. We have a regular readership of tens of people and we often get people who have been searching for photos of NRL players naked with their girlfriends and strange sexual devices so the demand is certainly there.

Right, sport. Some random remarks and quotes and linking to other sites. Certainly worth paying money to read.

The 2007 Soccer World Cup sides are beginning to be finalised and there's a few shocks in there. Namely those Out of Africa Over Night (the sequel to Out of Africa). Togo, Ivory Coast and Ghana will all be joining Angola! as the African representatives. While Senegal who played so brilliantly last time, and usual representatives Cameroon and Nigeria have dipped out.

From the victors:
"I'm the happiest person in the world," said musician Emanuel Fofone. "Togo has come through for the first time. For once Togo is the head and not the tail," he added, surrounded by a sea of yellow T-shirts and scarves, the team colours.

There were similar scenes of jubilation in Ivory Coast's main commercial city Abidjan and in Accra, Ghana's capital.

Abidjan exploded in jubilant disbelief as fans who had given up any hope of qualifying realised their Elephants had secured a World Cup place after Cameroon drew 1-1 against Egypt, leaving the Ivorians top of the group.

"We're going to empty the brewery,[wait for me!]" yelled fan Anderson Sery as he hugged his friends.

Abidjan's streets filled with revellers and youths danced in circles at the roadside as residents drummed on pots and pans.

Others crammed into bars to toast Ivory Coast's 3-1 victory against Sudan with a "Drogba", a bottle of beer named after Chelsea player Didier Drogba who scored one of the three goals.

"It's a sign from God [no it's a sign that you are better than those heavyweights Sudan and that Cameroon sucks] to say that peace is coming back to Ivory Coast. It's great, I didn't think it could happen," said student Marie Seogo. She hoped her country, torn into government and rebel zones by a 2002 civil war, would soon be reunited.

In Accra, people punched the air with joy and children danced outside bars after four-time African champions Ghana finally secured a World Cup finals place with a 4-0 victory against Cape Verde [where the fuck is Cape Verde?!].

Taxi drivers honked their car horns while street vendors rushed to sell Ghanaian flags to passing traffic. One man in body paint ran down the street singing.

"Splendid, super, smashing. It is the first time Ghana will be going to the World Cup," said Ghanaian Bob Wilson.

"Economically, socially, politically, it will be good. Football brings people together, it will foster unity."
From the losers:
But elsewhere in West Africa, there was gloom in Cameroon after a dramatic missed penalty cost the Indomitable Lions a record sixth World Cup finals berth.

Nigerian fans were also heart-broken after their side failed to qualify, despite beating Zimbabwe 5-1 in Abuja on Sunday.

But the atmosphere was sombre in Yaounde, after Cameroon, one of the African favourites to go to Germany next year, disappointed their supporters with a 1-1 draw against Egypt.

Thousands who had filled the streets in anticipation of victory, stood in shocked disbelief. Some cried, others smashed bottles of beer in frustration.

There were also subdued scenes in Senegal, who reached the quarter-finals at the last World Cup.
So there you have it. Sport unites and sport divides. It makes happy, it makes sad. Players make money and spectators get ripped off.

For the record these teams have qualified already for Germany:
AFRICA
Angola
Ivory Coast
Togo
Ghana
Tunisia

ASIA
Japan
Iran
South Korea (though have been playing like shit for 3 years and hardly deserve to have qualified)
Saudi Arabia
* I'm picking first round exits for all these sides this time round. No fairytales in Asia.

EUROPE
Germany
Ukraine
England (made it after a 1-0 victory over Austria where Beckham was sent off - first English captain in 133 years to be shown red and the first ever to be sent off twice, and all this from a guy who sounds like posh has her finger up his arse when he talks)
Poland (the Polish supporters I met in Korea last time were cunts after they lost 2-0 to South Korea so may they lose horribly. They got angry with us for supporting Korea instead of Poland! I am living in Korea you dipshits, why should I be supporting Poland?!)
Netherlands
Croatia
Italy
Portugal

NORTH/CENTRAL AMERICA & CARIBBEAN
USA
Mexico

SOUTH AMERICA
Argentina
Brazil

OCEANIA
HA! Yeah right.

11 spots still up for grabs.

Possibly one in Asia (half a place actually) with Uzbekistan playing Bahrain with the winner I think having to beat an out of zone side to make it.

Seven more teams from Europe, with it being down to these teams:
Czech Republic (they deserve it because the women in Prague are unfuckingbelievable but have to beat Finland first) or Romania (they deserve it for the orphan children)

Slovakia or Russia will get a playoff spot (but not both)

1 or maybe 2 from the following:
France, Switzerland, Ireland and Israel

Norway have a playoff spot sewn up.

If Sweden beat Iceland they will automatically be through to the WC. If they lose or draw they will be playing off.

Serbia-Montenegro will qualify if they beat Bosnia while Spain can qualify automatically if Serbia fall over or through the playoffs while Bosnia still have a sniff of the playoffs as well.

And Turkey, Denmark and Greece are all fighting over a spot. If Turkey beat Albania they get a playoff spot. If they lose it opens the way for the latter two teams. Greece are unlikely though as they need a win and hope the other two lose. So looks like goodnight to the champions of Euro 2004.

3.5 from N/C America with Costa Rica and Guatemala looking likely.

4.5 from South America with Ecuador and Paraguay nearly there and Uruguay, Colombia or Chile fighting for the right to spit on the Australian team as they arrive at the airport in their away leg of the playoff. That's fucked up actually. I guarantee (having seen a lot of the football) that Australia would easily qualify in Asia so it's good they have made the move. Not only would they qualify in Asia but they could well qualify ahead of all the Asian teams mentioned.

At the Ireland - Cyprus game which Ireland won 1-0 to keep their hopes alive there were 15,000 Irish fans and a few hundred Cypriots. Nothing strange about that you might think excpet that it was in Nicosia the capital of Cyprus. Yep, been there as well.

And I ran a quarter marathon this morning in an hour 5 mins. Actually it was 500 metres over a quarter marathon (11km not 10.5kms). Piss-poor time but considering the extra distance, the undulating course, the fact that it was on narrow pathways, the mud and gravel sections and the weather, my dodgy calf, my right foot that goes to sleep, my lack of training which included two x 20 minute runs, three x 15 minute runs and five x 10 minute runs, and my general lack of guts... it was still a pisspoor time.

By god are my bowels now working over time!

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