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Thursday, August 25, 2005

Election campaign low-lights 

A completely impartial, objective and rigorously-researched summary of the campaign to date:

The "so-full-of-shit-it's-amazing-he'll-be-relected" award goes to Winston Peters. As far as I can tell not a single sensible word has come out of his mouth during the entire campaign. Every sentence he utters is meaningless bluster devoid of anything even vaguely resembling content. However much one dislikes Peters, in the past he's been a much more convincing campaigner.

The "not-too-worried-about-his-party-about-to-be-chopped-in-half" award goes to Peter Dunnehill, for whom the worm is yet to turn. No sensible rabbits have yet been pulled from common-sense hats. However, one can almost smell the Malboros being pulled from packets.

The "full-credit-for-sticking-to-your-message-even-if-it's-a-desparate-one" award goes to Rodney Hide. I predict the Don (or Mastermind McCully) will soon realize that Act's 2-3% support being translated into 3-4 seats could be the difference between government and opposition, and will try and concede Epsom to Rodney. Second prediction: this won't work.

The "way-to-turn-people-off-politics" award goes to TVNZ for the debate with howling, yowling mobs.

Update: And the ultimate prize, the much coveted "what-hidden-agenda" award goes to Brian Connell, simultaneously the enemy of kittens and kiwis everywhere. What'll it be, Rakaia? Let's see the back of this prick.

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