The Lineup
B.I.R. Column Of Fame
Man of Steel... Wood... and Mud: Bear Grylls
Rock Legend: Tom Morello

League Gods: The Emperor and Alfie

Str-8 Shoota: Malcolm X

Str-8 Shoota: Zack de la Rocha

Super Bad mofo's

Comrade Hillary

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Sorry Boys 

You have to go back and do a floor suck.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

NRL - week 7 

This weekend shall be known as the weekend of the shit STORM.

Bulldogs v Broncos
Bulldogs by 8
After a renewed performance from the Dogs last week you'd think they might have woken up. But then again they followed up a 60 point win with a horrible effort so who the flup knows. At least one of these ordinary sides will get two points though.

Cowboys v Eels
Cowboys by 2
After the Eels get half their forward pack sinbinned for nothing they'll be in trouble. I don't know why I am tipping the Cowboys when they don't have Thurston and are up against a resurgent Eels but this comp has taught me to expect the ridiculous.

Panthers v Tigers
Panthers by 8
This Panthers side is in seriously good form at the moment. They aren't 2nd on the ladder for no reason. They should get a decent crowd and ride the wave to another good victory.

Sharks v Knights
Sharks by 4
Yeah I know, what the hell am I doing? But the Knights have fallen away from their good start, and, yeah, what the hell and I doing?

Raiders v Rabbitohs
Raiders by 6
After a couple of rank performances by the Raiders they will need to produce something or you can through them in the 2010 scrapheap. The Rabbitohs will keep it close the whole way but the home town heroes will prevail.

Dragons v Roosters
Dragons by 12
Since you can't hope for both teams to lose I'll just stare at the Roosters the whole game and enjoy them losing and forget about the other side.

Storm v Warriors
Storm to not get any comp points
Either way I must get this pick right. You cheating pricks.

Sea Eagles v Titans
Sea Eagles by 4
The birdies are flying high, playing the solid type of football you expect a Hasler coached team to produce. Given the Titans are always competitive this should be a hell of a match and another good one on a Monday night.

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Tuesday, April 20, 2010

An ideal place for a U-turn 

You know, on the brow of a hill with effectively zero visibility in one direction. The cops will have a hard time talking their way out of this one, and the usual "we had only just started the chase, m'lord" excuse isn't going to cut it. I would say "throw the book at the bastard," but the cops are a law unto themselves on this kind of thing. And it's by no means an isolated incident: but rather the 5th such police-induced incident in four years.

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Thursday, April 15, 2010

NRL Week 6 

Tigers v Bulldogs
Tigers by 10
The Tigers are one of the only teams round that are showing form, well the Bulldogs are as well, just a different kind of form. Shit form shall we say. They just don't look like a very good side most weeks and long may it continue.

Titans v Dragons
Dragons by 2
They keep on winning and they keep on playing home games where they are usually hard to beat. They have a 5 loss, one win record v the Dragons but had their one win last year at home so, flip a coin and it says Dragons.

Knights v CowboysKnights by 4
The Knights looked very promising at the start but maybe they hit the ground running while others started at a jog and have now caught up. Whatever the case they have to snap a 4 game losing streak this weekend or they are staring down the barrell of a long, unsuccessful year.

Roosters v Raiders
Roosters by 10
I checked the stats and it's 15 years (and 13 games) since the Raiders last beat the Roosters in Sydney. So if this streak gets broken this weekend I'm eating chicken for dinner.

Warriors v Panthers
Warriors by 8
A dangerous game because the Warriors may be bringing back some guys who haven't played for a few weeks and there's one thing they say about a winning combination. Also I'll be sitting at the game next to a Panthers supporter so don't freaking well let me down!!!

Broncos v Sharks
Broncos by 14
Two crap sides who are out of form do battle in front of what will be the biggest crowd of the weekend. The Sharks are the gutsier team and flogged the Broncos by 40 points last year but that was at Shark Park and this ain't.

Eels v Rabbitohs
Rabbitohs by 6
The Eels need to start playing like the Rabbits. Forget trying to keep it simple, make some offloads, get the blood pumping and the energy levels into overdrive and play some bloody football. The Rabbits are doing just that at the moment so even though the Eels might click, I can't go with something I haven't seen.

Storm v Sea Eagles
Storm by 8
What the fluck? A big game on a Monday night? The Storm will just roll over the top of them.


Saturday, April 10, 2010

Best corporate renaming ... ever 

From the Crafar farms saga:
Last month, the China Jin Hui Mining Corporation (recently renamed Natural Dairy (NZ) Holdings) agreed to purchase the Crafar farms in a billion-dollar deal.

That new name is up there with the NZ Climate Science Coalition and the Institute for Cetacean Research. Mind you, "Crafar farms" is itself a euphemism for "severely mistreating animals while raping the land and poisoning your water."

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Random Stats of the Year 

Here's the crowd averages from last year and this year in the Super 14 broken down into where the opposition is from for the NZ sides.

When two NZ teams play each other the average crowd is 16,496.
When a NZ team plays a team from Australia the average crowd is 13,728.
When a NZ team plays a team from South Africa the average crowd is 13,409.

So the idea that more home derby's will attract more interest certainly appears to be true.

It may also help reinvigorate a bit of novelty value to your team playing a side from Australia and South Africa like used to exist.

Long before we realised that the Cheetahs, Lions, Force and Highlanders would be utter rubbish every year and the Stormers, Reds and Chiefs would be rubbish most years, and the Hurricanes would choke every year, and the Blues would be brilliant one year and awful the next three, and the Brumbies would 27 phase their way to success for a few seasons and then fall by the wayside, and the Crusaders would win all the time etc etc.

Time for a change came and went about 4 years ago.

Friday, April 09, 2010

I have an idea 

Anybody who is caught with a child unrestrained in their vehicle or is over the limit with a child in their vehicle immediately forfeits their vehicle. If it's a second offence the vehicle is crushed or sold with the proceeds going to starship hospital.

If you can't fucking drive a car with a kid in it without being pissed or able to belt them in then you don't deserve the right to drive. In fact you barely deserve the right to live regardless of how many fucking times you've done it before.

Thursday, April 08, 2010

NRL week 5 

Dragons v Broncos
Dragons by 18
This should be a shallacking. There are two teams that standout in the comp and the Dragons are one of them. The other is not the Broncos. If they did stand out it would be for being crap.

Titans v Storm
Storm by 6
I'll give the Titans some credit, they will easily make the 8 and they are a good side but that's about where it ends. Prince is out and with it any faint sniff they had.

Rabbitohs v Knights
Rabbitohs by 10
The Knights absolutely choked last week and their bright start to the year is starting to wear off. The Rabbitohs are starting to play like they were expected to so should dispatch the Knights. But I wouldn't be betting on it.

Bulldogs v Warriors
Bulldogs by 16
The Warriors are missing their three first choice captains (Mannering, Luck and Price) and their best player (Vatuvei). And they are on the road against a side they often struggle with. Not a shit show.

Cowboys v Tigers
Tigers by 6
When the Tigers get their tails up they seem like an unstoppable force. At some point though they will find themselves in a hole that they just can't get out of. I hope it isn't this week cos I'm tipping the bastards.

Sea Eagles v Sharks
Sea Eagles by 20
Yeah, so the Sharks won but it took an abomination of a performance by the Eels to help them. The Sea Eagles are going to hammer the shit out of them.

Panthers v Roosters
Panthers by 6
This is a hard one to pick. Both teams coming off the back of good performances last week. The Roosters have a 23 win 16 loss record at Panther Park but I just wonder about them and think the Panthers might crawl over the line.

Eels v Raiders
Eels by 10
Boy this will be the longest wait for redemption of all time for the Eels. They would have come off againstt he Sharks and wanted to play the next night. They were a disgrace, they fired no shots, appeared disinterested expecting the victory to just happen. The Raiders should face the backlash.


Thursday, April 01, 2010

NRL week 4 picks 

A supa dupa performance from the Warriors last week. I'd like to see that sort of effort repeated on attack again this weekend so I know it is deliberate rather than a freak effort. There is a Brisbane team in the not too distant past that conceded 48 points v Melbourne (R 13), 44 points v Bulldogs (R 14), 46 points v Sharks (R 15), YES, THE SHARKS!, 44 points v Rabbitohs (R 19) and 56 points v Raiders (R 21).

It may have merely been a return of that side. But at least the style of attack from the Warriors was what we've all been crying out for for close on 13 months.
I nailed the first 5 straight last week and then was diabolically wrong with the rest to finish 5/8 and 16/24 for the season.

Storm v Dragons
Storm by 6
This is a real high powered clash. The Dragons are coming to town to make a statement. I don't know why. Statements get made in the playoffs, not week 4. Storm to shut that shit down anyway.

Roosters v Broncos
Roosters by 10
Both teams gave up last week. The Roosters had a bit more form prior to that though and I expect them to find a little bit of that while the Broncos just look shithouse.

Sharks v Eels
Eels by 12
How could you pick this Sharks team. I picked them last week and I will be surprised if I make that stupid mistake again. They are awful from one side of the field to the other. They have the odd decent player who would go well in other sides but this collection of second rowers masquerading as a football side is an embarrassment to whoever recruited them. And don't fullbacks need to be able to catch that oval thing?

Cowboys v Titans
Cowboys by 8
This might be where the Titans dream changes course. Of course it could be where they get tested for the first time and step up. They've had three easy games, though in saying that the Cowboys aren't up to much themselves. They'll win a seesawing game.

Raiders v Tigers
Tigers by 6
I can't rule out the yo-yo factor here where one Raiders team plays at home one week then a different raiders team shows up on the road. It should be a very entertaining game, with the Tigers class showing through.

Warriors v Sea Eagles
Warriors by 4
A big game for both sides. Warriors can actually say "we are a playoff side" with a win here, while the Sea Eagles can well and truly put their first two weeks of meltdown behind them and get their season well under way with a tricky road assignment. Expect a physical clash that goes right to the wire.

Knights v Panthers
Knights by 8
A tricky one. Both teams are capable on their day but neither can inspire great hope that they'll do what you damn well want them to do. The Knights have won 10 from their last 13 at home though while the Panthers lose two thirds of their away games so that should make the result a little clearer.

Rabbitohs v Bulldogs
Bulldogs by 8
The Rabbits found some form but it was against the Sharks so it doesn't count. The Bulldogs meanwhile found 60 points after two losses and that equals .... momentum that the Rabbits won't be able to stop.

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What a bitch 

In a feeble and repugnant effort to defend the predictable impact of National's "tough on crime" (TM) legislative posturing - i.e., no impact whatsoever - the loathsome Judith "Crusher" Collins manages to both lie and try to pass the buck to the previous government. Who said she couldn't walk and chew gum at the same time?
"Why would anybody be surprised when we've inherited nine years of a Labour government, unfortunately no recognition from the previous government that methamphetamine was a problem," she said.

"We have a violent society and it has got more violent over the years and particularly amongst some young people who are unbelievably violent, and we can see it on the attacks on police and the fact that we have had to bring in Tasers," she said.

"We've only just rolled those out."

That would be the same labour government that made methamphetamine a Class A drug, and waged a prolonged "war" on its manufacture and distribution, then? National's subsequent contribution simply forcing people with colds to spread their viruses in doctor's waiting rooms in order to pay $35 for a prescription for effective relief.

And then there's young people of course. Bastards, the lot of them. Nothing a good "taze" won't fix though, eh?

Judith Collins - a bitch in the finest tradition of Jenny Shipley.

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