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Man of Steel... Wood... and Mud: Bear Grylls
Rock Legend: Tom Morello

League Gods: The Emperor and Alfie

Str-8 Shoota: Malcolm X

Str-8 Shoota: Zack de la Rocha

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Comrade Hillary

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Just say no to puff pastry (oh yes, and Nick Smith) 

National Herald political columnist's puff piece on the abominable Nick Smith had our readers reaching for their vomitories. Instead of stating the obvious - that everything the erratic member for Nelson touches turns to poo, and that he lacks the intellect, the temperament and management skills to be sitting within 500 metres of any Cabinet table, Armstrong heaps on the praise. He's "self-disciplined", "self-confiden[t]" and "slippery". The latter apparently being a good thing.

One of our long-time readers, who wishes to be identified only as a prominent Hawkes Bay bee-keeper - was spluttering with outrage into his morning coffee. The following alternative adjectives were subsequently suggested for this one-time deputy leader of the National Party:


"cocksucking little bottom-feeder"

"rat bastard mofo"

"despicable turd"

Now, if you'll excuse me I'm off to read some grown professionals a story about a rat, in the tradition of that nice Mr Key's other star minister, Anne "dullard" Tolley.

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