The Lineup
B.I.R. Column Of Fame
Man of Steel... Wood... and Mud: Bear Grylls
Rock Legend: Tom Morello

League Gods: The Emperor and Alfie

Str-8 Shoota: Malcolm X

Str-8 Shoota: Zack de la Rocha

Super Bad mofo's

Comrade Hillary

Friday, January 23, 2009

New Zealand Cricket, a Hazard to your Batsman's Health 

After an exhaustive study lasting for about 3 hours spread over 3 nights and 9 beers I have come up with the following statistics PROVING beyond a shadow of a doubt that being selected for the Blackcaps and going into their 'environment' is a bad career move if you enjoy gripping a wooden tool.

Essentially what I did was go back and look at all our batsmen that have played test cricket for NZ post 2000 and compared the first half of their careers with the second half of their careers.

Now you would expect that when a player first plays test cricket they are a bit inexperienced, raw and prone to performing a little below their ability. And as time goes by they gain confidence and experience and improve on their performance. There is an expression often bandied around in the NRL that players don't become really useful until they have played 100 first grade games. For most players that would be in their 5th season. Now I'm aware that batting in cricket is for the most parts a game based around eye sight and reflexes on the back of a solid foundation of being able to play cricket strokes but all the same, I expect NZ batsmen to improve after being called into the Blackcaps. They have access to the best coaches, facilities and technology in terms of analysis. They also get to face the best bowlers in the world and should become more comfortable facing them over time, NOT LESS.

But indeed ladies and gentlemen, out batsmen as a whole have worsened while being a part of the Blackcaps setup.

And here is the proof. Of the 24 players I looked at, 14 have seen their average go down and just 10 have improved over the second half of their career. The 'average average' for the first half of their careers is 33.53 and the average for the second half of their careers is 30.04. Bare in mind that those stats would look even worse if they didn't drop players for crap form.

Here's the stats fo yo ass in alfabetakill orda.

ASTLE 35.94 to 37.06 improved with age until Bracewell fucked him off (or told him to fuck off).

BELL 14.7 to 33.9 I don't think you could do worse than 14.7 but that's a respectable second half from Bell. A shame about the 3 ducks in his last 5 innings.

CAIRNS 27.78 to 39.41 As raw as hell when first selected as a 19 year old, he started to own that shit late in his career and went from a pie chucker to quite a skillful bowler as well.

CUMMING 27.89 to 23.75 A 74 on debut and then fails to pass 50 thereafter. Probably a bit limited for this level. Solid (and I mean that in a nice way) failure.

FLEMING 37.18 to 44.92 No point commenting on this guys career. We all analysed it to shit.

FLYNN 38.8 to 46.17 Helped by not outs. Limited ability, relies on Yamis's stock shot of the angled bat down through gully for a single or better yet a 4. Expect him to crash and burn and never been seen in a NZ shirt with black stripy arms again beyond 2009.

FULTON 29 to 19.6 Lacks technique against top bowlers but possibly a victim of the life and form sucking Bracewell vampire era.

HORNE 38.63 to 17.8 What the fuck happened here? old age?

HOW 21.19 to 25.41 Showed real promise but for some reason has had a mental implosion and now seems to lack basic intelligence as to how to craft an innings. Form has turned to shit but may get it back.

McCULLUM 33.7 to 29.4 Now this is concerning and I put it down to Twenty FUCKING 20 (and John Bracewell). This guy is New Zealand Crickets answer to Dan Carters sabbatical accept McCullum will seemingly be allowed one EVERY FUCKING YEAR GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

McMILLAN 40.3 to 36.5 Ummmmmmm, diabetes plus Bracewell?

J MARSHALL 26 to 12.4 How did this guy get selected in the first place? Mind you he probably just about deserves it on current form. A nice wee example of a guy who got worse after being in the BC setup.

H MARSHALL 60.4 to 13.5 Now that is a booming fall from grace. He looked like THA BOMB for a while there but then NZC sunk their ugly claws into him.

ORAM 43.73 to 31.17 This crippled old fool reckons he's about one more serious injury away from becoming a batsman only. I say he's about one serious injury away from a dog food factory. Another good example though of a talented cricketer losing it at the batting crease after too many meetings with Bracewell.

PARORE 25.42 to 27.23 Almost doesn't qualify for the list because he's been gone for a fair while but a solid second half to his career but never quite produced as we all expected. Probably should have averaged about 30.

PAPPS 24.57 to 9.25 Yep, awesome.

REDMOND 10.4 to 37.7 Selected because of his dads long and illustrious career. The jury is still out after just 14 innings but I'd say he's fairly close to being out himself.

RICHARDSON 47.1 to 37.7 No brainer here. Old age and stress caused this second half decline but even so, this was a REAL opener produced in NZ (excusing the fact he started as an offspinner). I often lay awake at night with tears on my pillow thinking about a NZ opener who was making serious runs.

RYDER 44.6 to 44.2 Just starting out but expect that average to drop to 40 (if he turns out to be good) or 35 (if he turns out to have just been lucky so far). Or it could just stay at 44.5 after he gets busted for shagging a blowup doll on a beach in Wellington in broad daylight after a night on the turps.

SINCLAIR 44.5 to 22 A headjob. Nothing to blame here except genetics.

STYRIS 41.2 to 30.9 The passion disappeared here. Or skill? Or the body? or else fucking Bracewell!

TAYLOR 45.6 to 24.2 Now this is just not on! Sort yourself out. This is the McCullum illness here. Twenty FUCKING 20 and John Bracewell!

VETTORI 16.8 to 38.2 Here is a man who has grown some balls at the crease. Although it was largely forced on him by the abomination known as the NZ batting lineup over several years. Well done that man.

VINCENT 29.4 to 38.7 Looking at that you'd wonder why he still isn't having a crack especially when his last 6 test scores were 52, 224, 13, 92, 33 and 4. Anyway, I'm off to buy a lotto ticket.

Labels: , ,

Nice work. You can add Vincent to the head-job list.

If Styris, Oram & Taylor had simply just retained (not necessarily improved) the skills, physiques and attitudes they brought to the team in their first few seasons we'd be sitting pretty.

I'd even take a couple of Marshalls in original condition right now.

It's not clear to me that 2MP is suited to any form of the international game. He's potentially the Craig Spearman of a new generation.

For all the difference it makes they could give his position to the likes of Mills, and carry an extra bowler.
Louie Vincent may have been a nervy guy, but he wasn't a head-job until Bracewell went to town on his ass - which is exactly what Yamis is on about, exposure to the BCs ruining our talent. Louie V has to be the single best example of the phenomenon.

I was going to go on about the mental aspect of batmanship being key to all of these wowserish stats - until I remembered that Hamish Marshall famously thought that net sessions were for chumps, so in his case he was allowed to not work on his game.

Very nice work Yamis.
How's the workbook going? :)
Good related yarn on cricinfo today.

Post a Comment

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?

The New
Blogging it Real supports the following sporting organisations