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Thursday, June 10, 2004

Herr Freedom?  

It often intrigues me that while my great grandparents and just plain ol' grandparents' generations were training and preparing to go off to battle the Germans in numerous wars the biggest problem weighing-down on me is where to score some sticky buds. (And around early January I'm telling you it really is a problem)

I often wonder if they would still have gone off and fought and risked their lives, or worse, had they known my liberty would be solely used to get high and watch the NRL?

But not any more compardres, bennyasena has been entrusted by the State as a law-abiding representative of society to ensure that justice is served.

That's right I've got a jury much for the police state monitoring my every move.

Now I know your initial reaction - as was mine - although knowing nothing of the case is to yell "Not Guilty Bro, Legalise!"

But after an hour or two passed the seriousness of the situation started to dawn on me and my intrigue was heightened.

It could be a case of kidnapping (verdict as yet undecided) or one of police brutality (Guilty - told ya you'd regret issuing that speeding ticket pig)or perhaps a Mafia related trial where no-doubt I'd either have to take a bullet or accept a bribe (no please don't give me that cool mill in untraceable 20 buck notes Tony).

Really it could be any number of highly exciting and glamorous trials. I wonder if the judge will let me do a live trial-blog from the jury booth?

That way blog readers could avidly follow my commentry, my fickle impulses and Homer-like attention span while some poor clown's future lies in my hands...muhahahaha.

Further I imagine, having worked as a storeman once at BigFresh, that I am a leading candidate for the jury foreman role, wicked.

Now I've heard that they don't pay you your normal wage which I think sux but I can help even that up by charging them the $2.40 bus fare each way to get there and just walk that's justice.

Now i've just got to work on my apperance as I hear that you can get challanged by the defence's lawyers.

I was thinking it would funny to be immaculately presented on day 1: suit and the works and the next day to arrive wearing my functioning pothead t-shirt and beanie.

Now onto topic two: for those of you how are unaware there has been a controversial street race planned for inner-city Auckland in two years time.

Now as with every other significant news event in Auckland (i.e Hikoi) the story has been solely-framed around its effect on traffic - major roads closed for a few days businesses cut-off etc etc yawn - but I think I might have the solution.

If Auckland University can be positioned around a 4-lane deathway otherwise known as Symonds Street then surely there is no real need to close off inner-city Auckland just for some measly car race.

The race could even be billed as the Natural Selection Supercar Race: only the quickest survive...and attract extra spectators.

Anyway just food for thought

"Grandparents ... training and preparing to go off to battle the Germans in numerous wars .. the biggest problem weighing-down on me is where to score some sticky buds"

I hear ya. When 9/11 happened it really hit me hard: the possibility that friends of mine who were just like me (only male) could be drafted into some kind of combat without any say. I guess NZ's a long way from conscription, but it's alive and well in some countries.

As for scoring buds - funny the things that cause us difficulty! I'm interested to hear what trial you're serving the jury for.

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