Monday, November 23, 2009
Darth Watch: The horse has bolted!
Darth's latest offering returns to one of his favourite topics: DOOM! Or is that: GLOOM! Or is that: THE END IS NIGH!
If it's not the bloody Labour Party and political correctness bringing this country to its knees, it's ... [insert dramatic drum roll here to indicate suspense] ... DRUGS!
Well, the illegal ones, anyway.
Opines Darth:
Darth, "the coke" and "the horse" do not flow freely in New Zealand, by any stretch of the imagination. In that they are both relatively scarce and bloody expensive. Also, no one has called heroin "horse" since you were a pup reporter on the crime beat.
Darth excludes his favoured substance (tobacco) from the list of "murderous" substances because, umm, well, it's umm legal and umm therefore not immoral or umm something.
Nevermind that rational analysis of drug harm by people who actually know their shit (Nutt et al. in the Lancet (2007)) leads alcohol and tobacco to be ranked (considerably) more highly than many illegal recreational drugs, including cannabis (well d'uh), LSD, GHB and Ecstasy. And FYI, George, amphetamine ranks below alcohol but above tobacco in terms of harm.
Nevermind, George is earning his keep this week via a blunderbuss approach to, err, listing social problems.
If the problem is drugs one paragraph, it's violence against children the next, investor rip-offs after that, and race relations (courtesy of a well-known half-brown motherfucker) bringing up the rear.
At which point Garth actually makes an interesting and likely valid point: " his [Harawira's] latest outburst reveals is that there is among many Maori an abiding and malevolent antipathy towards Pakeha, which is far more widespread than we're prepared to acknowledge" - the counterpoint of which is "a corresponding bitter antagonism to Maori on the part of many Pakeha."
But just when you think Ole Smokey might be on to something, he finds he has nothing more to say, and pads out his remaining space with 127 - yes, count 'em, 127 - consecutive words taken verbatim from the King James Bible he always has to hand.
I hope Isaiah is being handsomely reimbursed for such extensive - and entirely irrelevant - borrowing. There's nothing like a trite Bible phrase or two to complete one's weekly literary offering to the nation, followed by a pithy summary from the moustachioed one himself: "Fat chance, but the offer is still open."
True to form!
On a brighter note, doesn't Santa look awesome!?! Nothing like the 75-year-old alcoholic he previously resembled - he's now bright of eye, clear of skin, and confident of beard.
If it's not the bloody Labour Party and political correctness bringing this country to its knees, it's ... [insert dramatic drum roll here to indicate suspense] ... DRUGS!
Well, the illegal ones, anyway.
Opines Darth:
Sure, the police and Customs do their damnedest to stem the flow of illegal substances into this country, but they're obviously fighting a losing battle, and the pot and the P and the coke and the horse still flow like a river.
Darth, "the coke" and "the horse" do not flow freely in New Zealand, by any stretch of the imagination. In that they are both relatively scarce and bloody expensive. Also, no one has called heroin "horse" since you were a pup reporter on the crime beat.
Darth excludes his favoured substance (tobacco) from the list of "murderous" substances because, umm, well, it's umm legal and umm therefore not immoral or umm something.
Nevermind that rational analysis of drug harm by people who actually know their shit (Nutt et al. in the Lancet (2007)) leads alcohol and tobacco to be ranked (considerably) more highly than many illegal recreational drugs, including cannabis (well d'uh), LSD, GHB and Ecstasy. And FYI, George, amphetamine ranks below alcohol but above tobacco in terms of harm.
Nevermind, George is earning his keep this week via a blunderbuss approach to, err, listing social problems.
If the problem is drugs one paragraph, it's violence against children the next, investor rip-offs after that, and race relations (courtesy of a well-known half-brown motherfucker) bringing up the rear.
At which point Garth actually makes an interesting and likely valid point: " his [Harawira's] latest outburst reveals is that there is among many Maori an abiding and malevolent antipathy towards Pakeha, which is far more widespread than we're prepared to acknowledge" - the counterpoint of which is "a corresponding bitter antagonism to Maori on the part of many Pakeha."
But just when you think Ole Smokey might be on to something, he finds he has nothing more to say, and pads out his remaining space with 127 - yes, count 'em, 127 - consecutive words taken verbatim from the King James Bible he always has to hand.
I hope Isaiah is being handsomely reimbursed for such extensive - and entirely irrelevant - borrowing. There's nothing like a trite Bible phrase or two to complete one's weekly literary offering to the nation, followed by a pithy summary from the moustachioed one himself: "Fat chance, but the offer is still open."
True to form!
On a brighter note, doesn't Santa look awesome!?! Nothing like the 75-year-old alcoholic he previously resembled - he's now bright of eye, clear of skin, and confident of beard.
Labels: alcohol, darth george, drugs, Santa, smoking
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Lake Smokey
So it turns out summer does eventually arrive at 54deg N - in fact, it's a sweltering +31. This necessitated finding a relaxing body of water in which to immerse oneself - or more accurately, one's one year old. We ascertained that an hour's drive would take us to a popular swimming lake.
Some problems were encountered. The public reserve/swimming access area at this massive lake (with many kms of shorefront) spans all of 200m. OK, so be it - we were there early enough to secure a spot under the shade provided by the sole, rather pitiful tree. There we joined some others, and were soon accompanied by more.
And never have I see a more woebetide collection of beachgoers. Ranging in size from XXL to morbidly obese, their main interests were smoking, adding another layer of sunburn on top of yesterday's, and waddling very slowly. Yes, it was fat, smoking redneck day at the beach (fat, smoking brownnecks also welcome).
The thing that bothered me was not so much that there were obviously intent on waddling to their early graves, but the bloody ubiquitous smoke. Less for myself than for L'il Red, of course. And given that were basically committed to our prime shady spot (and the remaining 190m of foreshore were quickly filling up too), there was little escape from it short of going home.
Generally I couldn't give a stuff when adults choose to smoke outside, but it's not OK when you're packed cheek-by-jowl at the beach. Time to make like Manly and introduce a smoking ban!
Some problems were encountered. The public reserve/swimming access area at this massive lake (with many kms of shorefront) spans all of 200m. OK, so be it - we were there early enough to secure a spot under the shade provided by the sole, rather pitiful tree. There we joined some others, and were soon accompanied by more.
And never have I see a more woebetide collection of beachgoers. Ranging in size from XXL to morbidly obese, their main interests were smoking, adding another layer of sunburn on top of yesterday's, and waddling very slowly. Yes, it was fat, smoking redneck day at the beach (fat, smoking brownnecks also welcome).
The thing that bothered me was not so much that there were obviously intent on waddling to their early graves, but the bloody ubiquitous smoke. Less for myself than for L'il Red, of course. And given that were basically committed to our prime shady spot (and the remaining 190m of foreshore were quickly filling up too), there was little escape from it short of going home.
Generally I couldn't give a stuff when adults choose to smoke outside, but it's not OK when you're packed cheek-by-jowl at the beach. Time to make like Manly and introduce a smoking ban!
Labels: beaches, brownnecks, obesity, rednecks, smoking
Sunday, July 08, 2007
How to smoke on a plane ... and get away with it
Well, some bugger just did it on my flight to Singapore. In the toilets close to where I was sitting too. And repeatedly (4-5 occasions I'd estimate). The smoker displayed a fair amount of cunning, and I never worked out who it was, other than narrowing it down to a few guys.
The trick, as far as I can ascertain, is to go in to the toilet, do your business, and then light your smoke and take 1, perhaps 2, drags, before extinguishing it, putting it away, opening the door and returning to your seat at haste. By the time the smoke wafts out to the nearby passengers and/or crew, you're long gone ... possibly sitting in your seat with a smug, nicotine-aided smile.
I was surprised that none of the Singapore Girls seemed too alarmed by it all, despite them commenting on the smoke at least 3 or 4 times. Perhaps they've seen it all before? In the movies (admittedly, the American ones) the plane is always stormed by the FBI or something when someone lights up on board.
Close but no cigar for the Warriors I see (courtesy of the free internet here in Changi International).
The trick, as far as I can ascertain, is to go in to the toilet, do your business, and then light your smoke and take 1, perhaps 2, drags, before extinguishing it, putting it away, opening the door and returning to your seat at haste. By the time the smoke wafts out to the nearby passengers and/or crew, you're long gone ... possibly sitting in your seat with a smug, nicotine-aided smile.
I was surprised that none of the Singapore Girls seemed too alarmed by it all, despite them commenting on the smoke at least 3 or 4 times. Perhaps they've seen it all before? In the movies (admittedly, the American ones) the plane is always stormed by the FBI or something when someone lights up on board.
Close but no cigar for the Warriors I see (courtesy of the free internet here in Changi International).
