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Saturday, March 27, 2010

And so it goes on 

NZ cricket continues to shit all over itself.

First it allows its captain to basically declare himself chief bowler, batsman, fielder, captain, selector, chief executive, frisbee thrower, boss, capitano, baklan, el cacique experto, el soldado principal, consigliere, and mutha theresa.

And now it allows him to get away with picking a completely and utterly fucking useless third nipple bowler by the name of Jeetan Patel.

Now lets look at this with a degree of seriousness.

Most teams in the history of cricket will choose 4 bowlers. But no, not us. We want to pick 5 bowlers. And this after it's plainly obvious we have fuck all batsmen.

Vettori is picking an off spinner who will get fuck all overs (unless the pitch offers something in which case he will choose to bowl himself, despite the fact that he turns the ball less than Ron Jeremy when he's representing the Missionaries).

But sadly, I haven't even reached the utter joke yet.

We have actually picked Sinclair AGAIN.

This is a miserable git who has been dropped from the NZ team once before.

Whoops, sorry, made a mistake there. He made some runs in domestic cricket and was reselected before being dropped again for a second time.

Oh fuck, that's right, he got a few runs in domestic cricket, the State Shield or whatever it was and was called in again. And was soon after dropped again for the third time.

Ummm, hang on, it's a bit fuzzy but errr, yeah, I remember now, he was called back in again because of his domestic form and fuck me days, scored piss all and was dropped again.

That's amazing. Truly unbeleivable that somebody could fail that many times and yet be recalled that many times.

I guess that's the end for him....

unless.... no!, surely not?

Yes, it's true, he made more runs domestically and was recalled again....

and the result was.... footwork similar to somebody in a bobsled and once again he was....

a) dropped,
b) not required to play again,
c) declared fucking hopeless...

the correct answer was of course a), b) and c)... (everybody's a winner)

and now NZ cricket has decided to give him another chance (yes a 6th - at the time of writing this is world record for any sport that I care about).

Way to go you useless, gutless, cowardly, incompetent, inbred, complete and utter fucking pussy arse bitches.

The sad ass bitches won't pick Kane Williamson because he might get his feelings hurt by the mean Australian bowlers. You know, those future legends of the game, Johnson, Bollinger, Harris and Hauritz. The same guys that couldn't get Darryl Tuffey out in the second innings.

Williamson would have to face them, not Lillee, not Thomson, not Garner, not Marshall.

He isn't on tour in the Caribbean or at the WACA.

It's a one off test in Hamilton.

All you have to say to him is "look, these guys are good bowlers, you are 19 and might struggle a bit but if you fail you can go away and work on any areas they exploit and come back a better player".

But no, we are going to pick Patel to smash them all over the park.



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