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Friday, November 06, 2009

Blue not brown 

In a move designed to reassure his party’s traditional voters that the National-led Government is not spinelessly pandering to Maori radicals, Prime Minister John Key has come out swinging at New Zealand’s indigenous population.

Prime Minister John Key has labelled MP Hone Harawira nothing but a golliwog following the Maori Party’s spiteful racist email that was leaked to the media, in which he called New Zealanders of European ancestry “whitemotherf**kers”.

“Oh, Hone is way passed being a mere cheeky-darky this time,” Prime Minister John Key told reporters this morning, “he’s overstepped the boundary I feel it’s time I told a few home truths about our natives.”

“I’d like to reassure mainstream New Zealanders that this government is doing everything in its power to keep on top of the natives; why just last week we introduced a law meaning the Police can now forcibly take the DNA of anyone it even intends to charge,” Mr Key said.

“Without being burdened by the old fashioned notion of having to prove guilt, the Police will be able to intimidate and harass the public, and if you know your stuff, you’ll know you it’ll be the Maoris who will cop this new law the hardest.”

“I’ll go as far as saying I’ll eat my own shit live on television if next year’s crime statistics don’t show that Maori will be disproportionately represented in these figures,” he exclaimed.

“I guess what I’m trying to say is that this is just like Keisha Castle-Hughes who should stick to acting – Maori in New Zealand need to stay out of political affairs and stick to stuff they’re good at like rugby and hakas.

“Just look at our record mainstream New Zealand – there ain’t no Maori seats on the new Auckland council, unemployment figures are through the roof and I can tell you it ain’t currency traders that are out of work, in fact, I’ve got Ministers working around the clock to introduce laws that will hit the poorest (and we know they’re Maori) hardest.”

My Key finished his media interview by saying that he would pop in for a cup of tea with any Mainstream New Zealanders who still felt uneasy – as long as Winston Peters wasn’t there too.

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Now poor John has a cheeky whitey on his hands, too - Rodders fancied rodgering his missus in Hawaii, and the taxpayer picked up the tab!

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