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Friday, January 28, 2005

The Mediocre MPs ... Or, who are these people? 

We've been having a right old yarn over on the Great New Zealand Discussion Forum about New Zealand's MPs ... who we like, who we dislike, who we hate with the burning intensity of 1000 suns, and who we can't even recognize. As for the latter, I'm reminded of the "Mediocre Presidents" variety show from the Simpsons:

All: We are the mediocre presidents.
You won't find our faces on dollars or on cents!
There's Taylor, there's Tyler,
There's Fillmore and there's Hayes.
There's William Henry Harrison,
Harrison: I died in thirty days!
All: We... are... the...
Adequate, forgettable,
Occasionally regrettable
Caretaker presidents of the U-S-A!

So here is an intial list compiled by the fearless Wiremu1306 of those MPs whose names, faces, roles, electorates, and responsibilities escape even those of us foolish enough to follow NZ politics (drumroll please):

Adams, Paul
Alexander, Marc
Ardern, Shane
Catchpole, Brent
Chadwick, Steve
Duncan, Helen
Eckhoff, Gerald
Ewen-Street, Ian
Gallagher, Martin
Goudie, Sandra
Gudgeon, Bill
Hartley, Anne
Heatley, Philip
Hereora, David
Hutchison, Paul
McNair, Craig
Mackey, Moana
Ogilvie, Bernard
Okeroa, Mahara
Paraone, Pita
Parker, David
Perry, Edwin
Pettis, Jill
Pillay, Lynne
Ririnui, Mita
Roy, Heather
Smith, Murray
Stewart, Barbara
Turner, Judy
Ward, Michael
Yates, Diane

Well readers, I have to confess there were quite a few names in there I didn't even recognize - like Murray Smith? Barbara Stewart? Michael Ward? Philip Heatley? Edwin Perry? Although we're gradually working things out over on the discussion board.

Also, which of these Nat women is the really annoying, moralizing one: Judith Collins or Katherine Rich?

As for current MPs I know of, but can't stand the sight or sound of, a preliminary list includes:

Tony Ryall
Ben & Jerry Brownlee
Nick Smith
Lockjaw Smith
Jim Anderton
Deborah "the skirt" Coddington
Richard Prebble
Rodney Hide

And that annoying, patronizing National woman (no, not Jenny Shipley, but I hated her too). Is expressing utter disdain and dislike for an MP (or at least a Minister) an act of sedition? Probably! :)

Comments:
Good heavens, who is Shane Ardern?

Hero of rural New Zealand.

The great man who drove his tractor Myrtle up the steps of Parliament in 2003 to protest Labour's ill-conceived Fart Tax.

Where the Government absurdly suggested that farmers pay a levy to help fund research into minimising the environmental mayhem their fucking stock create.

Memorably a demure looking security officer waved his arm at Ardern and asked him to stop the tractor.

As opposed to say, smashing his head against the pavement as the police would have to any teenage protestor chanting outside Parliament's gates about the presence of the war-monger John Howard.
 
Ahh, but is he known for anything else or is that his 15 minutes? And do you think Paul (starve unto death) Adams might be known to his mates as "Ernest?".
What about the other 30, there's a few there I know have occasionally come to attention before bolting back into obscurity (the Yates woman is one, she did something completely unmemorable to most of us and then disappeared again, and I do believe the McNair chappie received some publicity he'd rather not have had (as noted elsewhere by an erstwhile and profoundly more erudite than I fellow blogger), but the point is that these are (some of the) drones of the system. Around 25% of the total MP population, and the only truly memorable one is a guy who pulled a stunt on his tractor? Jeez. Cheers - wiremu1306
 
Erudite, me? I'm flattered. Regarding the Craig McNair incident I actually ran into the woman involved at a bash late last year. I'm happy to report she's working for Parliamentary Services now, and by all accounts, it's a much more pleasant experience than was her previous place of employment.
 
Judith Collins is the really annoying one I've decided ... blathering on in the NZH today about "safe sex fatigue" or some-such. Take your boring moralizing and fuck off.
 

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