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Saturday, November 08, 2008

My velladicktory speech 

Well done to the Labour Party. They have severely fucked me off at times over the past couple of years but for a left wing government to win 3 straight elections is a remarkable achievement, and Helen Clark has been a fantastic Prime Minister.

I remember being overseas for much of her early years but following the news closely through the interweb thingee and thinking quite often to myself that she will go down as one of NZ's great leaders (and I'm never wrong). I think the last couple of years has taken some of the gloss off that (Cullen hasn't helped), but compared to what I've grown up with (Muldoon, Bolger, Shipley, Moore, Palmer) there's not much competition apart from Lange perhaps. But I don't even know if he was a great leader. More of a great speaker. Key is going to make a decent prime minister because he has a good heart (I think). When he first became leader of the Nats a couple of years ago I immediately told comrade dc_red that I had just seen the next prime minister of NZ and I don't think it's all bad that he's fronting the country (comrade red may disagree). In his words: "Let me say this; whether you voted for National or not, tonight you have my pledge - I will lead a government that serves the interests of every New Zealander and it will be a government that values individuals' achievement and it will be a government that supports those that cannot support themselves and it will be a government we can all be part of."

But anyway, back on the Labour Party. They've done some terrific things (kiwisaver, working for families, civil unions, anti-smacking bill..., 3 dots and a comma). I honestly think the anti-smacking bill was great but I can understand why there was so much angst against it. Personally I'll probably give my children a few swifties when they're naughty. Like annoying me when the Warriors are losing or hiding my beer but I think people need to be more pragmatic about it. It's more the message that is being sent to fuckers that your first thought should be to what you can do to get your message across without smacking your child. I know it won't stop the cunts that dealt to poor Nia Glassie (RIP Honey) from doing what they did but maybe down the line it will some how infiltrate or permeate a few peoples brains that IT'S NOT OK. If it results in half a dozen silly prosecutions to save a life or stop several dozen despicable beatings then I'm 1 million percent for it. But if people want the government to allow them to beat their kids as they see fit I can only say "bring it on, cos I'll bitch smack dumb adults too fo fun times".

anyways, back to tha topick at hand.

I expect/know along wiv all you foolios that National will be quite hamstrung over the next 3 years with the economic strife and will be unable to go too far to the right as NZ struggles IN ALL SECTORS, including the Parnell investment banker ghetto. They will make some lame attempts at undermining a few things that Labour has set up, like cutting Kiwisaver (I'm sure I grew up hearing that you should save 10% of your earnings for retirement so how the fuck 2% + 2% is adequate for retirement is way the fuck beyond me), and reducing working for families (to give small tax cuts to rich singles so they can spend it on pre mix drinks in swanky bars).

Actually on the 2% kiwisaver thing, I have to ask, why did people say things like "I'm glad they are talking about reducing it to 2% because then I might be able to afford to sign up"??? 2% + 2% of the average wage of 40,000 equals about 1,600 dollars a year. Multiply that by 40 years working life and you have 64,000 plus interest. Now I'm very sorry but if you think you will be able to last for more than 5 years in retirement on say 120,000 in 2050 when a world cup ticket is going to cost $1,200 for the terraces then you are the dumbest cunt I've ever met.

And I've met some.

On the bright side from tonight (and I'm actually not too glum), that smarmy prick Peters is gone and even better, that weasel Ron Marks is also fading into the abyss.

It could be an interesting few years because potentially Dunne and Anderton could call it quits next time round meaning that we have 5 parties represented in parliament. It's hard to see anybody in any of the current parties falling out with their crew and forming their own party + getting enough support to gain representation.

Maybe MMP will move into a more simple phase with a left wing party, centre left party, a centre right party, right wing party and the Maori party and that will make elections in NZ slightly more simple (in the meantime at least).

And before I go, a parting shot to MMP.

Who the fuck came up with the 5% threshold for getting into parliament. That is total and utter bullshit. Progressive's get .9% and get one representative (UF the same) and ACT get 3.7% (the precise number of losers there are in NZ purely by coincidence I'm sure) and get 5% in while NZ First get 4.3% of the vote and get nobody in. Yes, I know I was celebrating that a minute ago but it IS NOT democracy.

It is utterly ridiculous. It should be: more than .8% and you get somebody into parliament (that's based around the 120 seats in parliament shideeel fo da spinning wheel. And cut the number of electorates down to 50. They are freakin redundant. We have mayors for that regional and local representation shit. The MPs need to focus on running the country, not receiving $20,000 for allowing some dodgy fuck to be allowed to come live in NZ from a 3rd world cunt tree. We don't need wankers visiting Huapai offices once in a blue moon and saying they are for whatever their voters are for with regard to the Whenuapai Airbase once every few months.

Now that would be real representation.

righty oh, mad props to the left,

peace out 08

and good luck to the new Labour leader in 09, Stacy Jones.

PS Why do newly elected leaders/parties say the country has "voted for change". That seems to me to be a bit like saying "we offered nothing, but the population was getting bored with what they had". Why don't they say the country has "voted for us" instead.

PPS "I do hope that all that we have put in place doesn't go up in flames on a bonfire created by the right wing of politics."

Don't worry Helen. The fagnuts that have arrived back in parliament are more likely to set themselves on fire. There will be some attempts to set alight the good that labour has done, and we, the vigilant public will do our best to ensure that they are trying to spark it all up with wet matches. Wet in their own pissed pants.

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"And he intends to pass legislation before Christmas to cut income taxes by $16 billion in April."

Good god, he has no clue. Where exactly is that $16b coming from?

There's only three options as far as I know:
1/ Cut existing spending
2/ Borrow on international markets at high cost
3/ Get ole pointy head down at the Reserve Bank to print him a whole lot of money.

I'm guessing they're going to go for option (2).

Welcome back, National, the party of international debt.
I think the Onion say it best as the rule is universal:
Struggling Lower-Class Still Unsure How Best To Fuck Selves With Vote
OCTOBER 30, 2008 | ISSUE 44•44

WASHINGTON—As election day nears, millions of the nation's poorest voters have reportedly yet to settle on the most profound and enduring way to completely fuck themselves over when they head to the polls this year.

"On the one hand, I'm pretty sure Barack Obama will undermine my best interests by maintaining the same centrist, pro-corporate policies of previous Democratic administrations," said Jim Estey, 34, a recently laid-off assembly-line worker. "Conversely, I agree with McCain and Palin on abortion, which might just balance out the fact that they'll further marginalize people like me by supporting deregulation and slashing social programs. So it's pretty much a toss-up at this point."

Though such behavior appears to directly undermine their own well-being, lower-income voters have historically supported candidates determined to screw them six ways to Sunday, including Bill Clinton, who incarcerated them in record numbers and cut the welfare benefits many depended on for day-to-day sustenance, and George W. Bush, who widened the gap between them and the rich and sent thousands of them to die in Iraq. This year's election is reportedly unique in that the nation's poor must not only weigh how deeply and painfully their chosen candidate will penetrate their rectums, but must also consider unforeseen outside circumstances—such as economic collapse and terrorism—that might allow the next president to bend them over and brutally rape them in ways they never thought possible.

The latest polls indicate that a majority of lower-class citizens might choose not to vote at all Nov. 4, preferring instead to leave the details of how they get fucked to the moneyed classes.


- Polar Bob
Well said Y,

Except for the shot at MMP.

Shit, it’s only Winston. What a great way for him to go…
I read that the other day before the US election and cracked up PB.

LB, don't get me wrong, I am stoked that this system has resulted in NZ First not being represented in parliament.

BUT, it certainly isn't fair or democratic that they aren't there.

Just, great news.

This election really came down to two big things.
1) Peters unpopularity in Tauranga
2) National voters in Epsom being smart (once again)

Key is being very clever though. For 12 years National couldn't get its head around MMP but Key knows how it works. The days of a party running the country on their own and dragging us all to the right or left are gone. It's about shooting fairly close to the middle of teh rifle range and making as many friends as possible by allowing them a shot at a moving target outside the range once in a blue moon.
I know it's early but I've been pleasantly surpised by KEy over recent weeks.

Perhaps we're getting 2 smart centrist PMs in a row?

We don't really deserve it but...

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