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Monday, February 07, 2005

Nation of morons 

This, by St Molesworth, is rather clever and there are others here .

Top 10 reasons Jonathan Hunt qualifies as one the 20 greatest living New Zealanders:

1. Only New Zealander recognised as having the blood type Pinot Noir.

2. First MP in history to empty the parliamentary swimming pool with a single late night belly-flop.

3. Over a weekend in the 1980s, without the aid of any staff, singlehandedly watched all eleven episodes of 'Brideshead Revisited'.

4. Contributed to the development of a free market by singlehandedly making the subsidy at Bellamys uneconomic.

5. Recently won an international competition for the smallest number of people you can fit in a Volkswagen.

6. Through his regular custom, 129 Indian taxi drivers have been lifted out of poverty.

7. The shock value of his cellulite has been described by Weta special effects as "worldclass".

8. Helped avert disastrous New Zealand "wine mountain".

9. His arrival in Britain will qualify as the largest single shipment of meat to that country since they joined the EEC.

10. Improved the lives of countless New Zealanders by....err, umm...sorry, is a mate of Helen Clark's.

In other news my punt on Ali Lauititi's Leeds Rhinos to beat the Bulldogs with a -5.5 point start paid off, even if my heart was in my mouht for the last 20 mins as the Bulldogs scored four unanswered tries.

Leeds won by 7 at $1.67 - goes some way to making up for the money Air NZ stole from me.

The league was also a refreshing break from the fucking Australian Open tennis commentary where there was almost as much dialogue discussing Hewitt's yelling "come on" on crucial points as there was discussing the match at hand.

Jesus Christ a sportsman showing passion on the court, what next?

And finally it's a sad day for satire across the Tasman. But what a brilliant proposed last headline....

Don't forget he was Post-Master General at some point in the 1980s. And he almost removed Clem Simich from Tamaki once.

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