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Friday, December 24, 2004

Worst Films of the Year 

Again, I'm cheating: these are the worst films I saw for the first time this calendar year:

10. SHREK 2 (2004)

It's exactly like the first film. Except slightly more grating and childish.


What the hell happened to the Coen brothers? The lesser Baldwin brothers (Stephen and Daniel, for those wondering) would have done a better job.

8. THE VILLAGE (2004)

I have a simple request: if you insist on making a character, say, blind, make sure that her actions and abilities are consistant with said ailment. Unless you are making DAREDEVIL or something. Oh, and another thing: STOP WHISPERING!

7. MONSTER (2003)

Theron is very good, the the film she is stuck in is a lumpen, ugly mess. It fails to draw us into the horror of what this woman did, let alone get anywhere near explaining it.


I'm a left-wing type guy, but my God do movies that champion left-wing causes suck. Why are they so earnestly and ridiculously dogmatic, take-this-medicine-you'll-like-it condescending and just plain dull?

5. 50 FIRST DATES (2004)

Sandler and Barrymore were excellent together in the superb THE WEDDING SINGER. This sentence couldn't be less true for their tepid, joke-free reunion.

4. SILMIDO (2004)

The Korean film based on a true story of how 30 odd convicts were trained by the military in the 60's to assassinate the North Korean president should have AT LEAST been historically fascinating with great macho acting. Nope. Instead it has characters that change motivation from scene to scene to fit the cliches and atroicious direction. Disappointing.


One of those films where you expect a twist, and then when it never comes, you realise you've been watching the worst thriller in recent memory in the hope the last 10 minutes would justify to your decision to waste 90 minutes on lazy thriller staples and hammy acting. Clue: it doesn't. In fact, it makes it even worse.


God, is this or a putrid excuse for a celebration of love and romance, or what? It features the creepiest child actor since Martin Short played a 10 year old in CLIFFORD, and a whole bunch of generally interesting actors vanillafied by Richard Curtis' banal, vapid, dishonest views of male-female relationships. It's all about the big gesture, right? Bullshit.


This is a Korean film you will never see. And for a bloody good reason.


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