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Wednesday, June 23, 2004

Thieves, Criminals and Bandits in the Midday Sun 

Well ok, so they broke into my future sister-in-laws apartment sometime around 4 pm but it was still broad daylight.

I'm referring here to the apartment two storeys above me in Korea.

It happened a few hours earlier probably a while before I got home at 5:30. My fiance was cooking right in front of the gas pipes they would have used to climb up to get into the apartment kitchen window, but she too was probably on the spot a little while too late.

According to the police there were three of them and the window is bloody small (about two feet tall and less than a foot wide).

So using my amazing Sherlock Holmes skills I believe it was three teenagers (one of them scrawney) from the high school a few hundred metres up the road. They went home after school, got mentally organised and slipped off sometime around 4 pm. It's highly likely one of them lives in a nearby apartment or else why would they climb up two stories and poke their head in a tiny kitchen window to see if anybody was home. It seems obvious they knew nobody would be. You would need to know this neighbourhood quite well also as you can't simply drive by these apartments. We are a bit away from any main drags.

Once inside he let his two mates in. It was a two man job at best as anybody would know from watching the movies. One guys maybe knocks on the front door and asks if Bob is home? When the owner says, there's no Bob here the person says sorry and leaves. If nobody answers he gives the all clear for his mate to move in. So in fact you could theoretically do it alone even. The person simply retires around the back of the building, shimmies up the pipe and Bob's your uncle (and the bastard is not home as well!).

Obviously the more people involved the more the danger of being caught which again points to high school novices who couldn't pluck up the courage to do it alone.

They stole jewelry, a camera and a few other bits and pieces. I remember sweatepz telling me about a foreigner in this same area a few years ago waking up to find that somebody had also scaled the gas pipes on the outside of the building and was in their room. I think a bit of a yell and the wankhole baled but not too sure actually. I'll have to ask sweatepz to oblige me with the details again.

Personally I reckon they should lift all the fingerprints from the scene, go to the local high school, interrogate all of them, cut their fingers off and take them for analysis and return them later with a note of apology and some bandaids if it isn't them.

Actually I suppose there is stuff all chance of them getting caught but we can always hope.

Think I might roam the streets now asking random strangers "you... where... afternoon... house... climb building... monkey bad man... yes?" in Korean of course. I don't usually speak like that unless I've had far too many beers and am trying to speak so bluebeardnz can understand me.


[So now my fiance tells me that she saw a man of about 35 sitting on the street curb opposite the balcony window looking at the apartment for a long time the other day. Seems high school students are looking pretty old these days.]

Understanding you wouldn't be a problem if I wasn't perpetually distracted by your wrong-headed refusal to wear pants in public.
I can only assume that Asians are responsible for the latest spate of burglaries in Auckland. This just proves my point. You are welcome to stand on my party list any time - you could be Minister of Sport within a year. Imagine, Yamis, your name etched in stone along side such luminaries as Tau Henare, Jack Elder, and Deborah Morris. - Rt Hon Winston Peters.
I'd rather jump off the Auckland Harbour bridge with the rope tied around my testicles thanks.

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