The Lineup
B.I.R. Column Of Fame
Man of Steel... Wood... and Mud: Bear Grylls
Rock Legend: Tom Morello

League Gods: The Emperor and Alfie

Str-8 Shoota: Malcolm X

Str-8 Shoota: Zack de la Rocha

Super Bad mofo's

Comrade Hillary

Saturday, June 19, 2004

A God-fearing Constitution 

It's about time that marriage laws were brought into line with Biblical teachings, don't you think? What with those homosexuals running around and claiming the right to marry ... each other. Well, here are some proposed amendments to the U.S. Constitution that would achieve just that.

Biblical literalists everywhere will also benefit for taking this fun test.

While we're on the topic of families, there is a great deal of uncertainty as to what physical chastisement of children is permitted by law. Luckily, John Ashcroft's latest pronouncements provide invaluable guidance to frustrated parents everywhere.

If you're in the mood for more fun, check out this account of the world's unluckiest political candidate ... standing once again in a suburban riding in greater Vancouver.

Cricket fans might want to check out this summary of Cairns' test career, which notes that he was much more effective with both bat and ball in the last third of his games. Sambit Bal, also at Cricinfo, has this rambling review of Cairns, which includes the very refreshing perspective - discussed previously on Bloggingitreal - that the current media-driven obsession with sportspeople's off-field behaviour is stifling and inappropriate:

Cairns and Slater were kindred spirits, an increasingly rare breed in the contemporary environment which encourages, if not mandates, straitjacketing of individualism. Professionalism is a necessity in competitive sports, but it has to be conceded with a tinge of regret that it does rob the game of characters. The modern sportsman is expected to be the purveyor of moral conduct: he is expected to behave on and off the field, not show anger and disappointment, not express himself on touchy topics and smile angelically for the camera. It isn't a surprise that most cricketers these days are teetotalers and go to bed by ten.

Well, perhaps there's a little exaggeration at the end there, but I don't give a damn what sportspeople do in their time off - short of the most egrarious criminal behaviour - provided they perform on the field.

And my final advice for the weekend is - if caught telling a lie (say, about the reasons for going to war), and a respectable outside commentator exposes it, just stick to your guns, and insist - despite all evidence to the contrary - that you are right. Hell, it works for GW.


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