The Lineup
B.I.R. Column Of Fame
Man of Steel... Wood... and Mud: Bear Grylls
Rock Legend: Tom Morello

League Gods: The Emperor and Alfie

Str-8 Shoota: Malcolm X

Str-8 Shoota: Zack de la Rocha

Super Bad mofo's

Comrade Hillary

Monday, February 26, 2007

Brown New Zealand Policy 

Tariana Turia, appearing to announce Maori Party immigration policy, is calling for fewer migrants from "traditional source countries" such as Great Britain, Europe, Canada, and Australia. Accepting immigrants from these places, she suggests, "may be" the Government's way of combatting the "browning" of New Zealand.

She includes "Asians" (undefined) in this "browning" - clearly adopting a new colour scheme to move away from the "yellow peril" type categorizations.

But, Mrs Turia seeks to reassure us, "we aren't playing the race card, because we are not talking about Asian immigration." Right, so it's not racist to try and shut the door to white folks, only yellow ones? Sorry, brown ones.

Anyone else care to join me in a hearty "fuck you"?

First, one might note that countries such as the UK, Australia and Canada (not to mention the entire continent of Europe) are relatively diverse and include people of various backgrounds. If an Aboriginal Australian or Canadian moves here, for example, that surely contributes to the much-heralded "browning"?

Last time I checked, immigration records country of citizenship, not skin tone, in its immigration statistics?

Actually, the latter are a little harder to find than one might expect, but I finally tracked down this comprehensive document.

It reveals that there were 51,236 applications for permanent residency accepted in 2005/06. There are bugger all Australians, precisely because they don't need to apply, and can simply move here.

But let's look at the largest source countries of official permanent residents shall we?

#1 UK 14,674
#2 China 6,773
#3 South Africa 4,033
#4 India 3,334
#5 Fiji 2,366
#6 South Korea 2,260
#7 Samoa 2,188
#8 USA 1,838
#9 Philippines 1,252
#10 Tonga 968


Canada is rather far down the list, with 559 successful applicants.

So, in the top 10 source countries, there are precisely none from continental Europe, and Canada doesn't appear. (Australia is an exception as noted above).

It is probably safe to assume, based purely on anecdotal evidence/common knowledge, that most although not all of the applicants from the UK, South Africa and the USA are "white".

It is probably safe to assume that the majority of applicants from the other countries are "brown" by the ALL NEW TURIA COLOUR CODING CHART (Patent Pending).

I conclude that New Zealand is not being swamping by white migrants, to the great detriment of the brown population. I also conclude that Turia is a racist ..... [insert epithet here].

Anyone else wondering why she picks out Canada for special attention, when there were twice as many immigrants from the USA (which, in fairness, has 10 times as many people?) Hint: her father was American.

Given that immigrants from Australia, the UK, Canada, and some parts of continental Europe (not to mention the US) are likely to speak and write fluent English, one would think that might be a reason for them applying to live here, and being accepted. Someone from South Korea or Malaysia (703 successful applicants in 05/06) is equally welcome in my books, but is also more likely to encounter language difficulties (on average).

I wonder how brown one has to be to meet the Turia test? Would a black person immigrating from the Netherlands (641 successful applicants in 05/06) be more welcome in her books than a white person of the same origin?

Does she think that for some reason the former is more likely to emphathize with her "brown" bretheren? And is that a sound foundation on which to build immigration policy?

I am almost at a loss for words in describing this racist outburst. The word "fuck" does come to mind quite a lot though.

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Sunday, February 25, 2007

And the photo of the day is.... 


Yes, again, symbolic landscapes confirm, that we are always closer to making (let alone admiring) war, than we are to making (let alone understanding) civilization.


Hey Canada, way to go! Blood makes the grass grow! Boo yahh.
And in the background, a nice big shiny commerce building, just as commerce always stands behind peace or war.
Christ, there's a lot rolled into this photo, now isn't there?



Thursday, February 22, 2007

Headline too good to be true 

"Crackdown on Cheney Violence" trumpets the SMH. Sounds promising, right?

Unfortunately, the "violence" in question refers to mild street disorder (y'know getting in the way of traffic, perhaps the occasional shoving match with police, and other important stuff like that), not conspiring to invade a country on false pretenses, resulting in the deaths of 3000 of your own citizens, and untold tens of thousands of that country's citizens.

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Happy Birthday to us 

Missed our birthday actually.

We turned 3 years old on the 16th of February.

Not sure what the average life expectancy for a blog is but I'd say that unicef would be pretty distressed with the figures.

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Taonga 

Does this strike anyone as a word which is ludicrously over-used by some people? Put another way, is there anything that the Maori Party wouldn't describe as taonga? (Therein lies a problem with incorporating Treaty clauses in legislation ... they are potentially all-encompassing). They might draw the line at cigarettes, I suppose.

Also, isn't it incredibly banal to describe children in this way? What next: "I believe that children are our future?" FFS, that is not a serious contribution to political debate. It pretty much deserves a good banning, in both its English and Te Reo versions.

This is not to say there is no virtue in a simple message. How about: stop bashing children, and/or feeding them complete junk? Two days' ago, in our one-up-from-McGehan-Close neighbourhood, I saw a boy of about two and a half (+/- six months) who I would estimate was two foot tall, and weighing in at a good 40kg.

Which makes me wonder whether local MP John Key has heard of new-fangled studies which point to the notion that obesity (rather than hunger) is commonly associated with poverty? And what does he propose to do about it? Is he suggesting we remove the GST from fruit and vegetables, for example? Or income-splitting for tax purposes?

In fact, I still don't know of a single thing John Key does stand for, other than chartiable giving to the deserving poor, and tax cuts of as yet undefined nature and scope.

The Fifty-First State 

It’s always been a laughing joke that Canada is the 51st state, but I’ve always argued that we do things a bit different, and even the politicians had a way of governing unique and independent to that of the United States.

Not anymore. In the past week, in both the French and English media, more and more happenings seem to resemble the way things are done in the United States. And here are the top three:
1) Have the police pay handsome sums to informants to act as witnesses against“terrorists.” This stunt was first pulled in the United States in 2002 when the Feds went in and grabbed a Buffalo “sleeper cell” of “Al Qaeda.” Turns out that the U.S. needed to get a witness in order to bring charges to this “sleeper cell” because there was not enough evidence to properly convict them. Turns out the informant was a pathological liar, and when the FBI waved hundreds of thousands of dollars at him, he went and sang for his supper. The same shit was pulled in the U.K. to arrest a gang that resulted in the understanding that every single liquid on planet earth could, somehow, blow up a plane. And last summer, when just after Prime Minister, err, President Stephen Harper came to the helm, 18 brown guys were arrested outside of Toronto for playing with guns and buying fertilizer. In that agricultural belt neither is an uncommon occurrence. Only these guys were Islamic and doing it. It also turns out that the RCMP paid shit-loads to a fibbing informant to act as a witness and testify against these guys.
2) Canada is supposed to be a good place when it comes to human rights, and we usually criticize countries that have a record of torture, abuse and such and such. Except when it comes to China. President Harper spoke tough against China the other day, and just about every pundit in the country has said that he needs to be more sensitive when it comes to China. The logic being that while human rights abuses are well noted, Canada needs to continue biting into the Chinese market when it comes to trade.

I see.

Business rights over human rights yet again? “Oh but we need trade” goes the argument. Who needs it exactly? Fat fucks sitting in first class? I mean we already have a global trade surplus, and other than environmental destruction, I’m not seeing the benefits. I’m only seeing further hypocrisy.

3) Now the CBC reports that Al Qaeda is to blow up oil refineries in Canada. Sure. Exactly which wild Islamist is going to do the job? The guys dressed up as farmers in Afghanistan? Or how about the Al Qaeda leaders that were hiding out in a rural Somali village that was leveled thanks to a U.S. aircraft carrier? Or maybe it will be another sleeper cell in Calgary that can only be found out through bribing lying assholes? In any case, she don’t add up boss. Looking at the details it wasn’t like Bin Ladin picked up the bat phone and said to Harper, “hey man, we’re going to fuck up your oil.” It was more like a random not-for-profit drew the conclusion, rather than any actual public authority.

It’s a sad state of affairs, and what makes it worse is that there just isn’t open critical dialogue in Canada to seriously address this….not yet at least.

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

More great journalism 

TVNZ. Those biased fuckers, known for putting out polls on politics every few months which turn out to be complete horse shit....

Can you spot the obvious flaw in the headline?

NCEA fails to mark exam papers
Feb 14, 2007

The New Zealand Qualifications Authority is in the spotlight again over a blunder in which a group of students' exam papers were returned unmarked.

Nine students at Auckland's Avondale College did not get a mark for their NCEA level 3 history exam. Instead, their papers were returned to them with no notations or grades, but just as they were handed in.
That's right. NCEA stands for "National Certificate of Educational Achievement". It is something that people are awarded. There is not a magical certificate which goes around marking exam papers. It was the NZQA who failed to mark the papers.

But I guess it's easier to make out like the NCEA has more problems by blaming it for,.... well, fucken anything.

Next they will have headlines like "NCEA Causes Weekend Snow Storm", "Bracewell Blames NCEA for poor Blackcap Achievement at World Cup" and "Failed Rotation Policy all the Idea of NCEA: Henry".

Things that hack you off 

A question for general discussion. What would you ban/prohibit/forbid if you were Supreme Commander of the Universe (or at least President-for-Life of New Zealand)? Other than free elections of course?

20/20 cricket?
party pills?
that rule about left-turning traffic having to give way to right-turning traffic?
peter dunne?
mexican waves?
10 months of rugby?

All tempting, I'm sure, but I would focus my attention on:

1/ News agencies parroting political party press releases as "news". Especially National Party press releases. I'm looking at your Newstalk ZB. For some of us, it might of course be tempting just to ban the National Party.

2/ The chaotic system of roadworks in this country, which lets construction work fuck up many areas simultaneously (and laboriously), rather than focussing on one area and actually finishing the job in good fucking time. And yes I would make contractors work evenings and weekends. Three teams working around the fucking clock at each site as far as I'm concerned.

3/ GST on health care and education expenses.

4/ Taxes on taxes (esp. GST on rates).

5/ Public transport fare increases above the rate of inflation.

6/ Rates increases above the rate of inflation.

7/ Robber baron electricity companies. $100/month for turning on a few lights and having hot water? Go fuck yourselves, I'm not made of money.

8/ Murray McCully.

Man, I could really warm to this banning stuff job.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Just because you're paranoid, doesn't mean that they're not after you! 

Alrighty,

So here I am plugging away on some research for some forthcoming lectures that I'm doing that pretty well prooves that Al-Qaeda doesn't exist, 9-11 was orchestrated, and that the neo-conservative agenda fostered it all.

As I'm in the middle of this heavily based internet research the power in my office building gets cut. It's back on in every other room except mine. Oh, and my phone is clicking like fuck too.

So, B.I.R. community, if you don't hear from me in 48 hours, you demand proof of life!

My view on taxes (the brief version) 

Over on NRT, there is a debate about the tax take. I added my two cents in the comments thread:
Labour has a choice. It can structure a tax cut that ensures the benefits are widespread ([specifically by] cutting the lowest rate).

Or it can lose office on the back of an unpopular budget that refuses to move on taxes, allowing National to structure a tax cut to its liking (and the liking of its pals).

Cullen has a choice: a tax cut which benefits all, including those on the lowest incomes, or: another miserly budget, followed by ejection from the Treasury benches, followed by his unemployment/forced retirement, followed by tax cuts under National.

If he won't deliver then Clark should dismiss him and appoint someone (Goff or Dunne) who will.
This is really a call for pragmatism on the part of Labour. I think the logic is solid. Che Tibby kinda agrees with me. I think the logic is equally strong for income-splitting, a debate we're yet to have here. The government has in fact accepted, with Working For Families, that the family, not the individual is the basic economic unit of society. It is time that logic was extended to all families, including couples without children, and those on middling and higher incomes. And yes, now that you mention it, I am not exactly an unbiased, impartial observer of all this!

Monday, February 12, 2007

Out of Interest 

I see the Korean consul is saying that all NZ tour buses should be fitted with seatbelts as is the case in Korea. And I happen to agree.

However what should be noted is that in Korea wearing a seatbelt in the back seat isn't even mandatory. It is also quite common for women to carry babies in their arms in vehicles. One reason why seatbelts are compulsory in tour buses in Korea is that the accident and fatality rate is extraordinary, particularly on the highways where it is a regular occurence for pile ups of dozens of vehicles, often resulting in the deaths of several people. The accident rate is approximately DOUBLE that of the next highest developed nation and the fatality rate is also double. I've always found that Koreans don't value life quite the same as say New Zealanders do, well not until it is lost that is. A hangover from being raped and pillaged for centuries no doubt. Once the lives have been lost then the shit hits the fan with whoever was responsible. The classic ambulance (or prison) at the bottom of the cliff gets played out on an almost daily basis on the Korean news.

But back on those seatbelts. Guess what. People don't wear those fitted seatbelts on Korean buses. They sit on em'. Same as they would do here. I'd be surprised if a single one of those passengers would have been wearing them had they been there.

Nevertheless the driver of this bus should get his arse handed to him if found guilty. If you can't treat a job where dozens of people put their lives in your hands with the respect it deserves then you're goin' down town.

Saturday, February 10, 2007

Thoughts on Military Intelligence: 

I’m not a fan of the military, and especially the culture of it. Phil Ochs had it right about the universal soldier. Every society takes its young, under-confident, and economically marginalized and throws them into the business of dying for the homeland. A careful look at the ins and outs of making soldiers, be it in George Orwell’s, oh I mean George Bush’s United States, or in Great Britain, Canada, New Zealand or even little Cuba, and you will always find that soldiers are generally more committed to the art of war than loyalty to any flavour of nationalism or particular state banner. They are professionals, so it is thought, and they do what they need to do to get the job done.

Hence when the U.S. sends its troops to Iraq to hunt down a-bombs that don’t exist, the troops don’t question it, they, just like Swiss Mercenaries, go to where the boss sends them. In the war on terror, which is about as close as we’re going to get to the war on everyone, the boss gave the green light for torture, preemptive attack and super-surveillance on one and all. Again, Guantanamo Bay rails against the Geneva Conventions, but the soldiers and functionaries that perform the interrogation and torture do not question it; they just get on with it.

So, considering all this, I was really alarmed to read in Canada’s Globe and Mail, an editorial that tried to dismiss the seriousness of recent charges that Canadian troops in Afghanistan are abusing prisoners. The word was leaked out to the public from within the military, and already the media is helping with spin control.

The Globe has been a big fan of the war in Afghanistan, and anyone who questions loyalty to the job and the purpose of Canadian troops on the ground is pretty well a terrorist himself, according to them. When rumours of prisoner abuse came out the Globe responded by saying that there are channels for identifying and disciplining military misconduct. Let’s let the army figure it out for itself.

They then it went on to remind the world that Taliban soldiers in Afghanistan “dress up like ordinary farmers” and “they don’t play by the rules of war.”

Oh fuck me dead. “Dress up like farmers?” What the hell do you think that these people are wearing when no one is looking? Any chance that the people Canada is killing in Afghanistan are nothing more than poorly educated, rural and isolated farmers who live a little too close to Halliburton’s pipeline development project of shipping oil from Turkmenistan to Pakistan?

I mean, if the Taliban can dress up as farmers, then certainly abusive hard-asses can dress up as Canadian soldiers. We do well in this country to poo poo the U.S. on how their soldiers behave. But let’s not forget that the culture of soldiery is a world-wide phenomenon, and if the U.S. troops are capable of prisoner abuse so too are Canadian.

In Canada we really do drop the ball when it comes to self-criticism on certain issues, and we’re certainly miles away from any real critical dialogue on, not just why our troops are really in Afghanistan, but what it is, exactly, that they are doing there.

I’ll give U.S. society two thumbs on this front, because they are at least entertaining and opening up critical dialogue as to what the real goals of the war on terror are. I only hope that Canadians, and others, can bring similar criticism to the forefront.

Friday, February 09, 2007

Freakin sports, man 

Is it just me or is Sporsfreak off line?

I've been trying to get over there all day to see reaction to the news that Ozi are "resting" Ponting and Gilchrist for the NZ tour (safe in the knowledge the team will still win most games by 100 runs or 10 overs, no doubt).

Will NZ Cricket reduce the gate prices now? It's practically "Australia A". :)

Anyway, news on sportsfreak appreciated. Maybe it's been blocked from my server by some evil administrator?

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Where can I eat? Yours, Hungry in Henderson. 

Hi HiH - I very strongly recommend you go to "Toast" (376 Great North Rd). Ms_Red and I have been twice in recent weeks and been highly impressed on both occasions. If you find yourself in the mall, and hungry for a bite, walk though the foodcourt on the upper layer (be sure to head directly for the doors - do not be tempted by the junk offerings), down the lane, and then swing a left on Great North Rd until you hit Toast. This is two minutes max.

We have found the food to be of excellent quality and the prices exceptionally reasonable. In many instances one would expect to pay $10 more per item on the menu. But don't let the reasonable prices fool you into thinking quality is sacrificed ... the food is delicious, and the presentation is of the highest standard, complete with high quality cutlery and plates, etc.

I've yet to try the coffee there, but the food is exceptional. Toast is open for breakfasts and lunches (I recommend the omelette) and again for dinners on weekend evenings.

Yours in fine dining,

DC_Red

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Not too proud to scavenge 

I am, I think, the only white scavenger in Massey. Yes it is that hallowed time of year, when one can place one's unwanted inorganic items out on the front verge for free collection by the city council ("clean-up week" as it will be known to our many Canadian readers). But such collection occurs only after much scavenging and "informal recycling", almost exclusively conducted by Pacific Islanders driving large vans. But yesterday I seized on the opportunity to grab an old dryer put out by a local resident, haul it into my small car, and take it home to salvage parts for another old dryer - namely, our one - a dud we bought off trademe. The remains were then placed out on our verge for further recylcing/removal.

Wonderful. I stuck out like a white guy scavenging, but hey, I have some vital parts now, which will be very useful once winter returns and a dryer is once again necessary. No doubt in about three weeks - this great summer weather is too good to last.

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Sunday, February 04, 2007

Wait a Gosh Darn Minute 

Penis surgically rebuilt
GUANGZHOU - Doctors in China have successfully reconstructed the penis of a man whose appendage was bitten off by a dog. Doctors used skin and muscles from the 35-year-old's chest, and bone from his hip, to reconstruct the penis, Xinhua news agency reported. The man had had his testicles bitten off by a dog when he was a boy, leading to mental and physical pressures for him as an adult.
Are they saying that he had his testicles bitten off by this dog when he was a kid and now has had his penis bitten off by the same dog?

What prey tell was he doing with his testicles and penis and the dog? Actually don't tell.

Saturday, February 03, 2007

Fuck, I know who I'd rob first if I was Robin Hood! 

Russell Crowe lands $29m role as sheriff

Oscar-winner Russell Crowe will play the sheriff of Nottingham in a revisionist remake of the Robin Hood story.

He will reportedly be paid US$20 million ($29.58 million) for the film, Nottingham.

Prank Calls 

We've had a young girl of about 8 or 9 I suppose prank calling us all day yesterday. I'd say maybe 5 times before lunch and then nearly 20 times in the early evening including leaving messages. The obvious thing to do is turn the phone off but when you are expecting calls you can't do that.

So anyway, I called the telecom number to ask them to call the little shit up and warn her to stop it. But low and behold they can't do anything. Instead they direct you to an investigative 0800 number. So I call them and guess what? They only operate 9am to 4pm monday to friday. What a fucken joke. They are closed at pretty much the prime time for prank calls, ie. the weekend. So we have to hope that she stops calling us this weekend or we will go nuts. I'm expecting phone calls so turning the phone of is not an option. They also told us (at Telecom) to write the exact times of the calls down so when we can call the 0800 number then they can do something about it. On the recorded message they say that the calls should have been going on for at least 7 days!!!!!!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK?????!!!!!

Can you imagine if somebody tied up your business phone, or house phone or whatever all day, everyday for a week before anything could be done about it? What a load of shit. That 0800 number should be manned 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. But guess why it isn't? Because they don't make any money out of you.

Right, time to feed the baby pureed apple and banana. Or smear it over her face anyway.

Friday, February 02, 2007

I'll have to get along to this. 

I remember a friend going to watch the same two teams play in Korea a few years ago and I think Tonga won 76-0. Not sure why they are playing in Auckland. I would have thought both countries (especially Korea) could do with the game being in their own backyard to help promote some interest in the country. I'm guessing though that the game was supposed to be in Tonga but they can get good support in Auckland and will probably save money. They will also cut crime in McGhehan Close for half a day.

Korea/Tonga face off in Auckland
Korean and Tongan rugby fans in New Zealand are expected to turn out in force when the two sides play their Rugby World Cup qualifying match in Auckland on Saturday 10 February. The match will be played at Waitemata Park in Henderson, Auckland, with kick off at 2.35pm. The winner of the match will qualify directly for World Cup and will join England, South Africa, Samoa and USA in Pool A. NZRU Deputy Chief Executive Steve Tew said the NZRU and Auckland RFU were hosting the match on behalf of the IRB. "I'm sure the Tongan and Korean communities in the Auckland region will get out and support their teams," said Tew. "The match will also give all New Zealand rugby fans the opportunity to see two international teams in action, competing for the chance to play in the Rugby World Cup," he said.

Hey CIA, State Department and the Miami herlad!! Call me when your reports come out in two-ply! 

Anyone happen to catch the news last night in Havana? Probably not, huh? Well, jeeze, if there wasn’t El Comandante en Jefe, Fidel Castro Ruz sitting, standing and chatting with his good pal Hugo Chavez. Castro has put on a bit of weight. He’s smiling and joking about. It’s a very nice image. But you know what he’s not doing? Governing the country!

Over the last month there has been at least one report per week coming out of Washington, or friends of Washington saying that Castro is dead or dying…change imminent. Yeah. And there’s freedom in Iraq, kind of thing.

When the State Department said that it had information that Castro was on deaths door, the press ran with it world wide. The Cuban government who employ Fidel’s doctors said nothing, and still the world kept running.

When Hugo Chavez said that el Jefe was sick, the world not only ran with it, but made it sound like he was on life support.

When someone asked how the hell the U.S. State Department knew more about Castro’s health than the Cuban State, suddenly an article appeared quoting the Spanish GI specialist, saying that Fidel was on deaths door.

Later the Spanish GI specialist himself said, “I didn’t say that.”

Even John "I'm the only remaining social commentary in the U.S." Steward bought into it and said that Castro would recieve a plastic bum.


I don’t get it. I seriously can’t figure out the strategy on this one. The media, the State Department, the CIA, los gusanos de Miami are all so quick to yell out any news, either completely false or grossly exaggerated, on Castro’s health. Yet, when there is proof of improvement on the man’s health, the media takes its sweet time sending out the message. Why? Why convince the world that the man is barely breathing?

I really don’t know. I mean has anyone stopped to notice that the man is not the head of state? Is it such a stretch of the imagination to think that Cuba is in fact continuing to govern itself, continue with trade, and continue with foreign health campaigns abroad under a new head of state?

I mean, in his pajamas, Castro is not a governor. So how the hell media has managed to convince people that A) he’s still in charge, and B) massive change will occur after he has gone is beyond me.

In any case the CNN gaze does well to fabricate reality. Many, many, many people are convinced that there will be broad-sweeping magical change to come the minute that the man’s pulse drops off. Oh yeah? Tell me exactly how that would unfold.

From watching the bullshit media circus over the last month, I think that it’s safe to say that Cuba, and not Washington, has a better hand on the life and reality of the post Castro era. Cuba’s living it…..Washington continues to remain delusional.

And for living proof, words of wisdom from the Baltimore Sun:

"Castro's ill health has even complicated security preparations for the Super Bowl, because police must account for the possibility that Castro's death could be announced at a time when security resources already will be stretched to the limit.

The issue came up at a news conference yesterday with the local and federal agencies that are coordinating security for the game, and Miami-Dade police officials indicated that they are prepared for that contingency.S

Somebody even asked what might happen if the news broke at halftime."


Thursday, February 01, 2007

[Insert Adjective Here] Conservatism 

So, compassionate conservatism now is it? Beats National's short-lived attempt to brand itself in terms of "radical conservatism" circa 2000. A Herald report at the time (not online) noted that one Jenny Shipley was successfully ridiculed in Parliament for trying to adopt that label, following what must have been an awful scene at a Napier conference in which "she was piped in to the Wild Thing tune."

In any case the now little-lamented Jim Sutton pointed out for the benefit of the House that "Jenny Shipley was not the first to declare herself a radical conservative, even though she said it was her own creation":
She shared the label with some of America's ultra-conservative, anti-gay, anti-abortion and pro-gun rednecks who supported the total decriminalisation of drugs. [Editor's note: what's wrong with that last bit?]

The political principles of a fellow radical conservative on the Net were reported by Mr Sutton: "The pro-gun radical organisation's site describes gun control as the first act of tyranny.

"The organisation's founder - that's the one in the United States - describes himself as a hard-rocking heterosexual male who is a life member of the National Rifle Association.

"He says: 'I fervently support the death penalty and prayer in school. I believe homosexuality is a sin and a choice'."

The best came last.

"'I also believe you do not have the right to burn an American flag and if you do, I reserve the right to express my freedom of expression by making you a patient in a critical-care unit'."

Mr Sutton's verdict: "This is the kind of soft face of National for the 21st century."

Abraham Lincoln had also been intrigued by the meaning of conservatism. Was it not adherence to the old and tired against the new and untried?

With such a boring image, it was no wonder Mrs Shipley needed Wild Thing.

"Wild thing, you make everything groovy," said Mr Sutton, intoning the lyrics with all the passion of a herd-testing report.

"Wild thing, I think I love you."
Compassionate conservatism too has strong US roots - see one former Governor of Texas running for US President circa 2000. The same buffoon who started an unnecessary war on the basis of a pack of lies apparent to your average 10 year old, created a massive budget deficit, and would be unelectable in almost any country in the world.

Enough already! Over on Public Address, RB reports on an actual visit to the much-maligned McGehan Close in Owairaka (actually part of the Mt Roskill electorate) and an interesting conversation ensues.

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