blogging it real

Well, for the past 9 days I've preferred parenting to blogging (and working for that matter), as we welcomed Lil' Red into the world.

He's a man of strong opinions, particularly when it comes to milk, which he devours in vast quantities. Like last night, when he was only satiated after four hours of feeding. Institutionalized gluttony in my view.

As his name suggests, he will be a red if his father has anything to do with it (Hat tip to Richard Dawkins on that one). Various shades of green might also be acceptable.

Well, better get back to it. There's nappies to wash.

Labels: babies, nappies, Richard Dawkins

I’m heading to New York in a few minutes.

But before I enter that mad mad country, one where Christian morals are the only way into the army and yet it is just so very easy to pull a train with three waitresses in any given bar, let’s talk about Senator Dithers latest fuck up.

Word leaked that while Washington goes on and on about Iran being the pinnacle of the axis of evil, trade has increased ten-fold under the Bush administration.

Despite a soft embargo against Iran, Washington has made exceptions in “agricultural products and medicine…to a segment of the population that we want to reach out to, we want to work with them to integrate them into the world economy and become partners in the future.”

So of course this means increasing exports in cigarettes, bras, fur clothing, perfume and military apparel. I’m really straining to find a way of fitting military apparel and cigarettes into food and medicine.

But for McCain, it makes good sense why cigarettes are going to Iran. “It’s one way to kill them,” he says.

Then in the same breath he boasts of his 28-year personal smoking embargo, unlike Obama who has only been off the cancer sticks for a little more than a year.

There is a lot rolled into this one.

1) Why is the U.S. exporting such things to Iran?
2) Why is McCain allowed to walk around freely in the streets while joking about the deaths of Iranians?
3) How in fuck’s name can supporters of the G.O.P. stand to allow this tool as a presidential candidate? And on the same note, why, American public, is there not outrage in the streets over the smart-mouthed, stupid-ass comments this man makes on a weekly basis?

This is what we’re up against.

Somebody here has become a dad, somebody has become an uncle and somebody else has become the second best looking blogger.

Meanwhile Tony Veitch went from being an annoying prick to being a complete cunt in the space of a week. He has the opportunity to move back to being merely an annoying prick but I am becoming concerned that he will become a disgraceful poster child for redemption before admission.

So anyway, what's going on in Korea?

Well, the North Koreans are shooting South Korean women for crossing a line. That's right, a Korean women on a tour to Mt Geungang was out for a stroll, got shouted at and freaked and ran, and was then mown down. I bet the shithead that pulled the trigger is mighty proud of himself (no, actually he probably is).

Hyundai also have to suck it up as they have been running tours there for quite some time and it seems that these types of 'border crossings' happen regularly with South Koreans detained and told off.

Labels: babies, Korea, north korea, south korea, tony veitch

Is it just me or is the mainstream media in this country getting weirder and weirder?

Leading TV3 tonight is a story on a guy who faked his own death. The story was fairly old, it seemed the only news was that he has now been named. Whoopdy shit, this is a human interest story, albeit it a fairly sad, sick twisted one.

This bumped the DEATH OF A POLICE OFFICER ON DUTY (something which happens on average about once every 5 years) to the second news item.

Are they taking the piss or what?

Labels: media, police, tv3, wtf?

There I was just telling an 18 year old (who was telling me they'd never been ID'd) in the weekend about how I only get ID'd in liqour stores by middle aged woman when low and behold 24 hours later there I am buying some booze and I get asked for some ID by a lady who looked about 45.

I'm 32 years old for fucks sakes!!! I know I look quite a bit younger (although I have students who think I am in my 40s) but do I honestly look 17? I think not. I have ten day old stubble, am over 6 foot tall and look like Brad Pitt only way better looking. Maybe that's why they employ middle aged women because they think everybody looks like they've just climbed off a tricycle.

At least the lady in the video store cheered me up by telling me what great choices I had made with my DVD picks. She also has wonderful taste.

Labels: ID, liquor, women

Mark Richardson is a better cricket player than cricket thinker. He is way off the mark comparing Paul Collingwood's decision to appeal for a run-out of Grant Elliott to Brendon McCullum's run-out of Muralitharan. (Murali had left his crease again, after completing a run that had seen his partner Sangakarra make a century, while the ball was still in play.)

Grant Elliot had no opportunity to preserve his wicket because he was taken out of play by an opposition player.
Murali had every opportunity to preserve his wicket by simply remembering the rules of cricket.

There is a world of difference Rigor.

Labels: cricket, sportsmanship

Rt Hon John Banks
Minister of Crime & Lord Mayor of Auckland
The Beehive
Wellington

2 Feb 2009

"It is with great pleasure I announce a contract for the first Crown Crime Enterprise in the Manukau Ward of my beloved Greater Real Auckland Mega-Metropolis Area Region ('GRAMMAR')," his Worship said.

The Crown has entered into a contract with the previously-feared Wu Tang Triad of Botany Downs to flight crime in the area.

"This is an important first step in reducing crime in Auckland/GRAMMAR, so cruelly abandoned under nine long years of Labour government.

"By scrapping Working For Families, and diverting money into a series of Crown Crime Enterprises (CCEs), we will deliver significant benefits to those New Zealanders who remain in work," the Minister continued.

Lord Banks said the Wu Tang Triad would fight crime on a maximum 98% of the budget previously wasted by the socialized Police force, but would only be paid upon delivery of wanted criminals, or their heads, to local "Kiwi Incarceration Enterprises" (KIEs), previously known as prisons.

"Wu Tang will later be joined by other crime-fighting groups, such as the the Mighty Purebred Mob Inc., and compete to capture criminals (or their heads) in the Manukau region," the Lord Mayor of Auckland/GRAMMAR and senior government minister stated.

"Together with head of the State Law and Order Restoration Commission (SLORC), Tau Henare, Minister for Roads, Tony Friedlander, and Prime Minister for Life, HRH John Key, this is another example of the National party delivering on its promise of efficiency in these lean times."

"Crown Crime Enterprises may be fully privatized in the near future, to allow those New Zealanders who remain in paid work to contract their own security, according to their own needs, which will ensure safe journeys for all, along highways paved with good intentions and low taxes, to your nearest Crown Health Enterprise (CHE), or to visit a relative in the nearest KIE," the Lord Mayor explained to an adoring audience outside a liquor store on Great South Road.

"We will stop at nothing in paying large American corporations to build new KIEs in every community, and since we scrapped the Resource Management Act (RMA), that's a lot easier than it used to be," added the Minister for the Environment, and Minister for Tight Neckties, Nick Smith.

Labels: auckland, crime, john banks, national, nineties all over again, police, wu tang clan

Last night TV3 carried two non-truck related politics stories, both fed to them by "poor little rich party National." First, John Key had a whine that someone had put a mildly critical video about him on youtube. Cry me a river. (TV3 anxious to point out link to said video, previously unheard of, available through its site). Second, National complained that members of the public were sending them mass-printed postcards critical of privatization. This correspondence from the public was met with threats of litigation from Bill "bring back the Birch" English. Nice.

Labels: john key, media, national, politics, TV news, whiny bitches